Description: In this episode, Ally talks about how she emotionally handled caring for and losing her father during her first pregnancy with her son Cristian. She also gives all the details about how her second labor with her daughter Sara did not go as planned because it was extremely fast as well as touching on how her two postpartum experiences differed from each other.
birthasweknowitpiodcast.com/74
Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only with no intention of giving or replacing any medical advice. I, Kiona Nessenbaum, am not a licensed medical professional. All advice that is given on the podcast is from the personal experience of the storytellers. All medical or health-related questions should be directed to your licensed provider.
For another episode related to precipitous birth, tune into episode 63-Tessa & Jeff Sanders-IVF-2 Vaginal Births-Marcela & Rosie-5AM Miracle
Resources:
- Ally Patrie-Jurado YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@allypatrie-jurado1859
- Perinatal Support of Washington: https://perinatalsupport.org/
- Postpartum Support International: https://www.postpartum.net
Definitions:
- Trying to Conceive (TTC)
- Shingles
- Membrane /Cervical Sweep
- Tongue-Tie
- Mastitis
- Intrauterine Growth Restriction (IUGR)
- Precipitous Birth
- Ferguson / Fetal Ejection Reflex (FER)
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Photo credit: Brittany Carol Photography
Transcription of Episode 74:
Intro 0:08
Welcome to Birth As We Know It, a podcast that is dedicated to recognizing the many different ways that birth unfolds. I am your host Kiona Nessenbaum. I have experienced birth as a Doula, a student midwife, a birth assistant, and as a mother of three amazing children of my own. After attending over 140 births, I’ve realized that each birth experience is truly unique. So make sure you subscribe and join me as we are guided through many different birth experiences through the lens of the storyteller. Please be aware that some of these stories can be triggering to hear. So feel free to pause, take a breath, and come back and listen whenever you’re ready. With that said, let’s prep ourselves to dive deep and get detailed about what really happens in the birth space.
Disclaimer 1:05
As a reminder, this podcast is intended for educational purposes only and has no intention of giving or replacing any medical advice. All advice that is given on the podcast is from the personal experiences of the storytellers. All medical or health related questions should be directed to your license provider.
Kiona 1:27
Before we dive into this episode today, I want to give all of the BAWKI listeners a huge thank you. And I also want to give those that are in the Birth As We Know It podcast community on Facebook, an extra shout out because I truly love your support and I love the feedback that you give. And I also love the conversations that we’re having. If you’d like to join in on those conversations, you can do so by going to
birthasweknowitpodcast. com/community. Now in today’s episode, Ally talks about her two very different birth experiences. One was an induction that took a little bit longer than expected. And then her second was the complete opposite and was a precipitous birth. So keep listening to hear the details on that. And if after you’ve finished this episode, do you want to hear another amazing story? You can tune into episode 63 with Tessa and Jeff Sanders, where they share their two accidental, unassisted birth experiences. All right. Let’s get into this episode with Ally. Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Earth as we Know It podcast. Today I have on Ally Patrie who is going to be sharing her two birth stories with her son,Cristian and her daughter, Sara. Ally, thank you so much for coming on today. I’m excited to dive into these stories because your second one is juicy and I’m really excited to get into it. So welcome.
Ally 2:53
Thank you so much. It’s a good word for it. Absolutely. I like that euphemism
Kiona 2:57
Yes, absolutely. So let’s actually go ahead and start off with you just telling us a little bit about who’s in your family.
Ally 3:05
Ok. So I’m Ally and I live here outside of Boston with my husband Alvaro, who is from southern Spain, and my son Cristian and my daughter Sara. But most of my family is from Massachusetts. We’ve lived here forever.
Kiona 3:23
Great. let’s just go ahead and dive right in. Let’s start with Cristian’s conception. Was Cristian planned? Was he a surprise to tell us all the things?
Ally 3:33
Planned I had it on my mind that I was definitely trying to get pregnant, but I kind of got to the whole pregnancy game, like kind of late. I was 35 when we got married. I met him. I think I was like 33. And we got married when I was 35 and bought a house at 38. So I was like, okay, it’s definitely time to try this out. And one of the things that was also on my mind was my father in 2015, I think it was he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. And we soon found out that it was not Parkinson’s disease. The Parkinson’s medication, didn’t work. And he just got aggressively worse. And so in the end, he was diagnosed with something called multi-systems atrophy, which is, I guess,basically like an ALS type of thing, except his mind was always fine. but, you know, he couldn’t walk, he couldn’t eat. And, my mother was his primary caretaker and she retired from like 30 years of teaching and then became a nurse because my dad, you know, needed that type of help. And so my husband and I, we got married and we moved in with my parents, which is unconventional in and of itself, and wasn’t ideal, but we were there to help my mom, help my dad. And, you know, we all did the things So he was very badly off by the time we had our house. And whatever when I was getting pregnant, I just had so much on my mind, weighing on my heart, like watching my dad get sicker and sicker and I had this one moment where I was helping him, like, put on his shirt and that was like, wow, it just came like full circle. And in that way, like he when I was a baby, he helped me. And now it was like that. And it just was consuming, really my my life and my heart, you know? S when I got pregnant and when I was thinking about getting pregnant, I was like, this is not going to be a thing. It’s not going to be a big deal. not going to let this be one more thing for me to worry about. So I’m going to give it a whirl. But I’m not going to collapse into this, thing if it doesn’t work out immediately. So I stopped taking my birth control pill a couple months before because I figured, you know, that’s what people say, like it takes a little while. And I ended up downloading one of those apps and I just was like, okay, this is my fertile window. But I never told my husband he knew I wasn’t taking birth control. And I mean, he has five siblings, so he was all about having kids. Like when we were still living with my parents, he was like, When are we having babies? so I wasn’t scared that like he was going to find out I was pregnant and be, like, shocked. I knew he was going to be like super happy, but I just didn’t. want to create this thing where I built him up and then disappointed him. It was like another thing I didn’t want to worry about. I was like, This is between me and me I’m going to do this with my little app and whatever, and that’s it. So if it doesn’t work out, I’m the only one that’s going to know about it and it’ll be fine and whatever.So the first time I tried and I knew it was like my fertile window it didn’t work. And so the next time I was like, Alright, I’ll try these ovulation sticks. So I use the ovulation sticks and I got pregnant the first time, which was good and kind of lucky because I was like 38 years old, which we all know is geriatric. So I was expecting for it to take a little longer than it did. And so that was like in January. And I told my mum and dad, like right away. I think I told my sister first, even before I told my husband, because you know how sometimes the line comes up and it’s like super light, it was that positive, I don’t know. But I sent it to my sister and she was like, Oh, yes, that is it. So, my father knew that I was pregnant, but he passed away the next month, so he died on Valentine’s Day, So he did know I was, to be honest with you, like when I found out that I was pregnant. In a weird way, I said to myself. I think my father’s probably going to leave us soon. And I know that that sounds weird, but I was like, He’s not going to leave us without leaving us something else. And he did. I had my son, and I feel like he just left me another little guy to take care of, you know, because we were all busy taking care of my dad and he left us something else, for us to look after. my pregnancy, like, that attitude that I had of this is not going to be a worry. I think that that kind of dictated to like my decision making because like I was saying to you before that, it sounds a lot of women on here have gone through interviews with doulas and found midwives. And I was like not doing any of that. I have an OB. I like my OB. She delivers out of this hospital. The end, going to get an epidural? You bet. Like, is it? I didn’t have, the emotional reserves to, like, melt into this pregnant version of myself. Like, I just didn’t have it. So all those decisions were made, like the second I found out I was pregnant. Less for me to worry about. Perfect. Done. The end. And I never thought about it again. And I think that that was what I needed to do. Like, I just needed to have one less thing. Check, check, check. that was like my mentality during the whole pregnancy, too. Because, I was also older and a lot of people, think, you know, when you’re older and you get pregnant, you’re totally ready. Like, yeah, it’s finally happening. But another side of that is if you’re older and you’ve been independent for so long, it’s hard to even imagine your life not being like that. Like getting out of the car without having to drag tons of crap with you and going to Target for an hour and a half just because you feel like it. that you don’t get to do that when you’re somebody’s mother. Like, if you you can do it, but you have to bring them with you. You line up somebody to watch them like it becomes a total process. Whereas before you do whatever you want, whenever you want. So it wasn’t that I wasn’t excited. I just, had been single for so long that when I got pregnant, I was like, okay. This is not going to change me. Even though there’s no way to avoid it. But I think it was more so the pregnancy itself, You know all of that with my father and I. I’m not going to worry about this. This is not going to become a worry. I don’t have it in me to worry about this. So it’s going to be totally fine. And I’m going to continue to do exactly what I’ve been doing. I don’t know if you know what Zumba is, but it’s like a dance aerobics. I teach Zumba four times a week. I did it until the day before I gave birth. I didn’t modify anything.I jumped around like a psycho. I did everything and I kept asking, my OB like, Is it all right that I’m still doing this? She was like, If you feel good, do it. So I was like, Okay. during my pregnancy, I did all the stuff that I that I was doing before. And I also think that that helped me to keep a little bit because after losing my father and have not kind of grief involved, I just didn’t want tons of change. So I tried to keep my schedule as consistent and it was actually during. COVID more or less or like the tail end of COVID. I teach high school Spanish and I was teaching like online because there were so many students that had opted not to go back we were doing like a hybrid thing at school. And there was kids that had compromising health concerns or parents that had compromising health concerns. And. I did, too. That was the only reason I didn’t go back was because of my father. I didn’t want to have contact with that many people per day and then go to my house and see my dad possibly put him at risk for COVID. So that was different. But I was like a home which was super nice during a pregnancy. So like when I needed to throw up, I just like, got up and threw up. I didn’t have to worry about, excuse me, kids after I was home. So that was nice And in terms of things happening, I feel like the pregnancy itself was pretty textbook. It was more like that emotional stuff that affected it. And not only did my father passed away, but I also. So I think it was like six months along and I started getting this, like, weird headache, but it was only like right above my left eyebrow. And I was like, What is this, some sort of brain tumor? Like, what is going on? I couldn’t get rid of it. And, you know, you can’t take ibuprofen, God forbid, when you’re pregnant. So I was like, take a Tylenol. It would take the pain away a little bit. And then after a couple of days, I started to, like, break out there. And I said to myself, I gotta call. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. And so I call, like, urgent care. She’s like, How old are you? I was like, I’m six months pregnant, blah, blah, blah. She was like, Are you getting rash? And I was like, Yeah. I literally just started to get a rash. And she was like, Oh, honey, think you have shingles? And I was like, What do you mean, shingles? So I’m like, they don’t even give you an immunization for shingles until you’re 50. you know, I didn’t think that that was a concern. But, I mean, if you’ve ever had chickenpox, you can get shingles and you can get it anytime. So, I don’t know, like I’m sure your pregnancy does affect your defenses and everything everything like that. And I was already kind of, in my grieving whirlwind, maybe all of that together just was the perfect storm. But I had shingles during my first pregnancy, and that was awful. I don’t even know how to describe it except just awful. And being pregnant, it made it even more awful. But thank God, again, thank God I was home. I was teaching online. that regard, I feel like my first pregnancy was textbook in terms of the development of the baby and all that. But also physically like it was a good situation, I went until I was 39 weeks. And then my OB was for some reason and I love her. Please don’t get me wrong. But she was always like 39 weeks. That’s the sweet spot. And just to tie in this whole idea of me like, Nope, nope, I got this. This is all. This is me and me. I knew I was going to go into labor the day that I went into labor. I was like, I’m going to see when the next full moon is. So I was due September 22nd and the next full moon was September 20th. And I said to myself, That’s the day. It was a monday, I remember very, very clearly. And she was like a 39 weeks, let’s sweep your membranes, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, Nah, I don’t think it’s necessary. She was like, Well, it’s really helpful. I don’t know, 39 weeks, weeks. But I was like, I’m not going to get to 40 weeks, I promise you. I was like, I’m going to go into labor. September 20th. And she was like, okay, so September 20th, rolled around and I had started like the couple of days before I lost my mucus plug. I was bleeding a little bit. I had those trucks pads all ready to go, and I had stopped working at at 39 weeks. I was like, I’m done walking up three flights stairs, not doing this anymore. And I just didn’t want to be in front of a room full of like high school kids worrying about my water breaking in front of them or having labor pains in front of them. I was just like now. So I woke up on the 20th I started having contractions. But they were, totally bearable. I took a shower, so I labored at home all day, like all day. And my husband was at work and as 5:00 started to roll around. I was like, kind of is awful.This is not getting a little bit beyond my pay grade here to be by myself. So my mother had come over and we were with that app or whatever, like measuring the contractions. And, you my husband finally got home from work and of course I was like, Oh, no, it’s fine. You know, whenever he went from work to my mother’s house he’s super handy is an electrician. So she had something that she had asked him to fix. So I was like, Yeah, go. It’s fine. Whatever. My mother’s here. So he finally gets home. And, it was again like I said, textbook. had a contraction. It lasted a minute. It was like every 5 minutes was an hour. I was doing this walking around and I had taken birth class, but it was like online because of COVID. it really didn’t help me much, except one of the things that she said was like twerking helps in the labor process. She was like, it helps relieve some of the pressure. And I was like, I teach Zumba, I can do that. So I remember
Kiona 15:45
Yes.
Ally 15:45
like being doubled over and being like, I’m going to put on my Zumba music from my Zumba music so at like 8:00 or so as I finally called and I don’t know if this happens to every woman, but there’s always that like you’re not really in labor or whatever, like go drink some water and then call us back. It’s like, All right, we’ll see if that works. So whatever I did, drank the water and I waited. But the labor pains did not go away. So I called again and they were like, All right, why don’t you come in? But it’s always with that, like, incredulous type of voice. Like, I’ll probably just be sending you away, like, but come on in. So I got there, and it was a full moon, mind you. So, you know, I get there and I’ll make up another pregnant one. I was just like, All right, So, you know, I get in there, they check me. I was four centimeters. I had labored all day and got to four centimeters,but four centimeters is enough for an epidural. So the doctor that was there was not my doctor, but he was like super sweet. And he was like, you could have an epidural. And I was like, Yep. So I got my epidural at four centimeters and then I fell asleep. they let me sleep all night. I woke up, I was ten centimeters. Ready to push.
Kiona 16:56
Look at that.
Ally 16:58
So when I say to you, like in terms of the pregnancy itself, it was very textbook. And I don’t want to say easy. And now knowing what happened to me in my second pregnancy, it was easy. It was much easier than what happened to me the second time. And I pushed for 45 minutes. And a lot of people like say that they can’t feel anything when they have an epidural. But I did not have that I wasn’t in pain, but I knew I was having a contraction. I could very well feel it. And there were times when like, in between pushes, people started talking. And my husband was saying something and I was like, help me, help me. Like I had a contraction. So was like I was very well aware of the pushing and needing to push. And he was born at like 820 in the morning. So that was nice. So it happened, you know, not quickly, but it happened exactly the way that I thought it was going to
Kiona 17:50
Yeah, that sounds awesome. Like your entire labor process. Sounds good. It sounds ideal to some. Right. Like you know what your your Todd and prejudged like throughout your pregnancy like do this, this and this and you were like, boom, boom, boom, boom. Like, that’s just how it went for you.
Ally 18:08
I’m not going to say it didn’t hurt.
Kiona 18:09
Oh, no, I never said that.
Ally 18:10
No, but I’m going to be like honest truth at this point.Like ,I couldn’t explain to you what my contractions were like or where they were or how they hurt. I remember them hurting. I remember being doubled over in pain. I remember being a little bit. Short with people in terms of, you know my state at that time but the actual contraction and stuff like that you do forget I always said this to people afterwards. It’s like, I don’t I can’t explain those to you. And I have kind of forgotten it. But I did not forget, like, how badly it hurt after, like, after the tearing and, like, the icy diapers and the tux pads and the spray. I don’t think people tell you about that stuff enough. And you need it. Like, please don’t get me wrong. All of those things you need, I remember that pain And I also remember I don’t know if this is like TMI, but having to go to the bathroom after giving birth was probably the most horrific thing of all. Everything in my first pregnancy. Somebody asked me what was the worst It was that. My mother told me that in the past they didn’t let you leave until you went to the bathroom. Like, until you went out. And I left the hospital. I think I had gone. the day that I was in labor. And I didn’t go again for, like, another week. A it’s funny because the doctor, when they were stitching me up, said, oh, this is good. So the tear isn’t close to that area, so it shouldn’t be hard for you to go to the bathroom. And I’m thinking about it after I’m like, not close. I mean, the. This bit. Like how?
Kiona 19:42
Right.
Ally 19:43
How far away is it? It can’t be that far,
Kiona 19:47
So I’m just going to say it, Ally, You’re talking about taking your first poop. Okay.
Ally 19:50
Oh, yeah.
Kiona 19:51
That is. that is a hard.
Ally 19:54
Sorry, everyone.
Kiona 19:55
No, they are. They’re used to that in this podcast. So, yes, like that is a big thing. You know, people don’t talk about what it’s like down there. Postpartum enough and it’s different for everyone. Of course, there are some people that tear, There are some people that don’t. There are some people that are super swollen. There’s some people where they don’t feel that swelling. You know, that’s it’s such a wide variety of what it’s like postpartum. But I am a strong believer and I think that everybody is a little bit fearful on what that first bowel movement is going to be like.
Ally 20:28
I just made the decision. I was like, Today I’m going to go. I have to go. I know that. I have to go. It’s been like five days. Like, you have to go, so sit down and figure it out. So that’s what I did. And
Kiona 20:40
Breath.
Ally 20:40
it was like. Horrific this has everything to do with like that kind of intimacy portion of after you give birth, like the people that you are willing to have in your space. my husband was like going to have my parents come. They’re going to stay here. His sister actually bought them tickets to come on the 23rd, which was like the day after my due date. And I was like, No, I don’t think that’s a good idea for me to have your parents here when I’m like, trying to breastfeed for the first time and bleeding. And he at first he was like, I don’t want to say insult it, but kind of like thinking it was just like I just didn’t want his parents around.And it wasn’t that I didn’t want anyone except for my people. Like I wanted my mom and my sister. And that was it. I didn’t want to have, like, my boobs out for his father to see, like, you know, it just wasn’t. But he also, in his defense, had no idea what that was going to be like for me. all he thought was, my mom’s going to be so helpful. And I was like, No, no, she can’t help me in what I’m going to be going through. So if they if I come home from the hospital and there are guests in my house, I’m not going to be very happy and it’s not going to be pretty for anyone. And when he actually saw what it’s like postpartum even just at night when the baby came home, I needed him to have the baby on his side of the bed because it hurt me just to sit up. so that I could breastfeed. Like it hurt. And like I said that first time going to the bathroom, like he saw it all. And for my second baby, they didn’t come until she was two months old.
Kiona 22:12
Nice.
Ally 22:12
So he did see And he understood. I felt bad because I certainly wasn’t trying to, like, insult anybody, but it was like, I’m going to be so vulnerable that I don’t I can’t even imagine having anybody in this house that’s not like like I said, my mom and my sister, I just can’t.
Kiona 22:30
Right.
Ally 22:31
And so it ended up being that those were the people that I had mostly and even still was weeks before. I wanted to have friends. My own friends come over because it’s like, you want to be in your bathrobe you know, with your baby. You have to feed them at like any moment. And it is what it is like. You just don’t want to have people like outside of that, intimate, comfort zone around you at that time.
Kiona 22:54
Yeah, Everybody. It has to have a role, has to also be supportive and doesn’t need to be hosted. Do you know what I mean by that?
Ally 23:03
are 100%. And that was another thing. I know he didn’t consider his own parents as guests. I totally understand that. Like, that’s a big difference between your own family and your in-laws. Like, the way you feel about your mom is the way he feels about his mom. But it’s not the same intimacy level. And when you are in that situation where you’re like, so postpartum and you’re still bleeding and you’re still in pain and you’re still figuring out like breastfeeding and stuff like that, like you’re just vulnerable and you don’t want just anyone there to help you like you want your people.
Kiona 23:39
Yeah, It’s like I totally appreciate the thought and effort that you want to put into this, but also, here are my boundaries.
Ally 23:47
I love you, but this is a very particular and actually it happened because of COVID. Still, they couldn’t come anyways because I don’t know if it was like they weren’t letting people from Europe in or something like that. They weren’t able to come for that. And then we went there that summer so that they could meet the baby. So it ended up they couldn’t be here anyways. But that was like a huge I don’t want to say conflict, but it’s definitely cause because his immediate reaction was to be offended, but it was because he just didn’t know.
Kiona 24:17
Right.
Ally 24:17
And when he found out. He understood it for next time. So that was good
Kiona 24:22
absolutely. you did mention that you breast fed. How was the breastfeeding process with Cristian for you?
Ally 24:28
While Cristian had a tongue tied, and it was the lactation consultants in the hospital that pointed it out to me. And they were like, it might affect it, it might not, you know, like, see and I ended up getting mastitis. it’s funny because my mother had the same thing with my oldest brother. She had mastitis, she got super high fever, and then she stopped breastfeeding and she didn’t breastfeed my sister. And then when I came along, she breastfed me and she was like, It was fine. she was too scared with my sister after because she almost died. Like, was very, very sick. so I knew what it was. And I kind of was like, I think this is happening to me. So I wasn’t scared. I just was like feeling horrible and needed something to be done about it. So I had like a big, hot spot and I just sent a picture of it to my doctor and she was like, mmm. And so they prescribed me some antibiotics. And then I went to another lactation consultant just to make sure that, Cristian was getting enough But she mentioned again about the tongue tie and she said, you know, this might be the reason that you’re having such a hard time that is so painful and that you got mastitis and blah, blah, blah. And with my first birth, they discouraged pumping a lot in the beginning or whatever. And for the second time I was like, Nope, I’m pumping. And, you know, and it just like worked itself out the second time. You so much smarter, like, you just so, so, so much smarter about stuff. But I had like I said, I had the mastitis and we ended up having to have his tongue tie fixed and that was awful. bringing him in there for that was terrible. But after that it was like the easiest. And had to pump for a little while. I went back to work and.having a pump at work was not awesome at all.
Kiona 26:18
Did you have a private?
Ally 26:20
I could have asked for one, but I ended up just locking the door and covering the windows of my classroom and just staying in there. And I did it during my lunch period. I didn’t have to do it. I could have taken like 20 minutes out of any period of the day, like legally, like that was what I could have done. But I was like, What am I going to do? it just would have created more of a problem for me than it would have fixed because I have this one class that’s 20 minutes behind everybody else. So I just ended up doing it during my lunch break and I got myself a little fridge, But at 12 months when you could introduce regular milk, I did. And he was all set with breastfeeding
Kiona 26:56
Nice.
Ally 26:57
I didn’t have to wean. I was actually a little sad. And I was like, offended. I was like, You’re telling me that this is bad? That’s better. Fine. Whatever. But I still had some storage of like frozen breast milk that I’d cook with. those are the types of things that I that I did because he was eating like regular foods or if I like made scrambled eggs, I would use a little bit of my breast milk. And I used it up was like, This is not going to waste. I am not I had to pump this at work or using this. I was like, I’m not throwing this away. So I made sure to use it all.
Kiona 27:30
I think that that sounds like an awesome journey, the everybody who breastfeeds, especially for the first time. Doesn’t really know what to expect because you’ve never done it before. So you don’t know how painful it’s supposed to be, even though there’s some pain that’s associated that is considered normal because of suddenly having someone suck on your nipples 24 seven like, unless you’re super kinky or something, that’s usually not what happens.
Ally 27:53
I know. Right
Kiona 27:56
So adjusting to that is really hard. And so I think that it’s awesome that you utilize the resources of lactation consultants and really ask questions. And mastitis is absolutely incredibly scary, especially if it’s not caught on time. So much can go on. And I think that a lot of people may not realize the severity of that. So I’m happy that you mentioned it. I also really love all the ways you used up your breast milk because a lot of people don’t know, like, what? What can I do with my breast milk? How do I actually do this? Put them in some eggs. Put it in a cereal. Put it a little bit in his juice. Like Do
Ally 28:33
Oh,
Kiona 28:33
it.
Ally 28:33
my God. I made shakes out of it.
Kiona 28:35
Right.
Ally 28:36
I went crazy, especially with my second pregnancy I went nuts.
Kiona 28:42
Awesome. That’s great. So let’s actually talk a little bit about how your postpartum mood was after Cristian, because, you had lost your father throughout this pregnancy. Did you have any signs or symptoms of like postpartum depression or anxiety,
Ally 28:57
Honestly, no. I was good when it comes to that. I did. And I forgot to mention this and maybe somebody out there in the birth as we know it community can explain what happened to me. But listen to this. when I had shingles, I can remember one night where I woke up and I jumped out of bed and my heart was racing. I have no idea what I went from dead asleep to, my gosh. And it took me a while to calm down and my head was racing and my heart was racing. I also wonder if it had something to do with me sleeping on my back. I had a pillow, but I always ended up back on my back. I mean, doesn’t that put pressure on your veins Maybe that’s what got my heart going. And that woke me up as like, s not working. You get to get up and move. I told my O.B. about it and she was like, Well, you know, you’re pregnant. I was like, Yeah, but I’ve never had a panic attack before. Like, I’ve never had any sort of anything like that. So I don’t know what the heck that was, but my heart was definitely racing. And I woke up from a dead sleep. and then that’s it. You can’t go back to sleep and you have to, like, go downstairs and walk around.
Kiona 30:09
Right, Right. Yeah, absolutely. Try to get grounded again in your body. That makes me think of, the position you’re sleeping in, let’s actually go ahead and move forward and talk about the pregnancy and conception process of Sara. how was it different from your conception with Cristian? Was Sara planned and how did you feel when he found out?
Ally 30:32
Sara was not planned at all. I was on a birth control, a special work. Not special, but the one that they give you when you’re breastfeeding because you can’t. When you.
Kiona 30:44
Right. Progesterone only.
Ally 30:47
And my doctor was like, You have a window of about 2 hours. You have to take this at the same time every single day. And I was like, Yeah, that’s totally fine. I can do that, Whatever. And then when Cristian was ten months over the summer, we went to Spain and one of our flights was delayed. so To get to his house. No direct flight. You have to go from like Boston to Madrid to Cardiff, which is the closest airport to his house. And so from Boston to Madrid, the flight left late. So we missed the connecting flight. we had to stay in Madrid. And I left my pill with my face cream and my toothbrush because I always just took it in the morning when I brushed my teeth and I wash my face. So that’s where it was. Bad idea. So I didn’t take it at all. And then with the time change like you’re supposed to take at the same time every day. So if it’s 6 a.m. here, but it’s 12, it’s Spain. So there were several days where Ally was not taking her birth control the right way. Or at the right time. so we were staying in my in-laws house and, I was not expecting anything. Getting pregnant while we were in Spain. But I have some friends that live in a different city. And we took like a weekend and we got a hotel and we went there and there was air conditioning. And whenever one thing leads to another and like I said, I was I had already not been using my birth control, to the letter like to the to the hour like you. So it’s like this be a lesson to everyone. Like, if they say 2 hours, no one’s kidding. It’s 100% the truth. And because I had been on, you know, normal birth control for years and they were days where I didn’t take one, I had to take two. And I never even had a pregnancy scare ever. I never thought that I would get full out pregnant. Just from. That. And plus I was at this time 40. I didn’t get my period for ten months. So he was ten months old when my period came back. I got my period once I got pregnant the next month. So she was kind of a surprise. And it’s funny because my best friend. she found out she was pregnant a week before I did. And she was like, Would that be amazing if we were pregnant together? And I was like, No, that was that’s not going to happen. And she was actually the first person I told the second time I was like, Oh my God. So she freaked out. So that was something that was nice about my second pregnancy is I had somebody. To be pregnant with. And I was the one who knew a little bit more because I had already been pregnant. I was just super fun.
Kiona 33:20
actually have a question about the pill. between conception and the time you found out, were you still taking your pill?
Ally 33:27
No. I said, I’ll I’ll just wait because there was that tiny little thought in my mind because I was like, you know what? If I get pregnant again, I want to keep taking this. If there is some sliver of a chance that I’m pregnant again, I don’t want to continue to take birth control.
Kiona 33:42
okay. I have so many things to say because I really am so happy that you had the chance to experience pregnancy alongside a friend. And that is complete opposite of your first, you know, like you were intentionally trying to just embrace taking that on alone because you did not have the mental or emotional reserve to do anything else. And so this time with Sara’s pregnancy, you’re like able to embrace the fact that you’re actually pregnant and then not just by yourself. let’s actually go ahead and dive into a little bit more of the pregnancy with Sara, but then diving into her birth. was there anything in particular with Sara’s pregnancy that you want to talk about or that you felt was different from Cristian’s?
Ally 34:27
The pregnancy itself? No, with Cristian. I had shingles with Sara. I got COVID. And, a little bit later on, like it wasn’t still like everyone wears a mask, blah, blah, blah. But the protocol all with the first strain of COVID because it was affecting fetal growth they made the decision that another ultrasound would be part of your routine care. So I got to have an extra ultrasound. But that was like a complication That was on my file. Not only that, I was 40 and I had her when I was 41. I was very well the way I, how old I was and I know the stats, I know all of that stuff. So I didn’t really question the worry or question the precaution like I did it But in terms of the actual pregnancy itself, it was exactly the same. I was fine, the baby was fine. I taught all my Zumba classes until the day before I was induced. And again, I didn’t modify anything. I didn’t stop jumping. I didn’t stop twerking. I did everything. that’s not to say like, that’s for everybody because I know some women do get horrible symptoms, luckily for me, none of that happened. So I just kept doing what I always did, which was like my mentality from when I was pregnant with Cristian, like, this is not going to change what I do and what I like to do. I did, though. I lost my father my first pregnancy. I lost my dog. I second pregnancy. And he was like my first child. And I lost him, like around the same time in February. So there was like, sadness attached to it and always constantly like, you know, you have these babies and your father is never going to know them. And that was a thought in my brain a lot. My father loved being a grandfather. When he passed away, my mother found a diary. He had been writing it. It was all about his grandkids. You could see through the progression in his writing as his physicality, Just just became more and more impaired. But me thinking, Oh my God, like, I wish she knew my kids. Like, I know like he knows them. In fact, like, that was another, like, beautiful thing about my pregnancy. I didn’t worry about it because I was like, My dad’s not going to let anything happen to this, to these kids. I just know it. I just know it. there was I think it was like the 20 week scan Cristian was in a position where it was hard for them to get like a measurement of his head. So the measurement came out like, smaller than they were expecting. And I was reading it and I was like, That’s weird. And the doctor told me, Oh, it’s fine. Probably whatever. Don’t worry about it. And I went home to see my mother and my sister. And I was like the measurement of the head. I don’t know. Like, And my sister just goes, There is nothing wrong with that baby. Just like that. And I was like. My God, you’re right. and I know that she was coming From the same place as me. Like, there’s nothing wrong with that baby. Like, that’s a gift from Dad. Like that. There’s nothing wrong with that baby. And there wasn’t. And then when I got again to 39 weeks, it was well, actually was 38 weeks. It was like membrane sweep. I don’t want you going late. Blah, blah, blah. And I know that it’s riskier for me and I because I was older, but I was like, I don’t want a membrane sweep. And it’s funny because this time, my second time, I wasn’t as certain as I was with Cristian. And it’s funny because I went into labor when they made me go into labor, when they when they induced me. But at 39 weeks, she was talking about an induction. She wanted to induce me at 39 weeks. And then she was like, well, if you don’t want the induction at 39 weeks, because she said to me straight up like your pregnancy is been great. So is really no reason for us for you to deliver early or anything like that. She was like, I could do a membrane sweep and hopefully everything will happen naturally. And I was like, No, I don’t want that. I want her to come when she wants to come. Thinking that she would do exactly what Cristian did and just come like two days before her due date, you know, because that’s one of the only things that’s an issue. Like, you have one experience and you think the second one is going to be like exactly the same. But that didn’t happen. I went to my 39 week appointment. I think she thought she was going to do a membrane sweep. And I was like, No, I don’t want one. I said, She was like, Are you sure? And I know she was worried about me. Like, I know the stats, she knew the stats, whatever. But I was like, no, I don’t think so. I think I’d like to see her, come on her own and just go into labor naturally. And she was like, All right, but I’m not letting you go past your due date. more dangerous. She’s like, I’m going to induce you on at 40 weeks if she doesn’t come. And I was like, Okay. And I was like, really hoping that she would like that whole week I was like, do an extra Zumba. I was like, please come. But at 39 weeks, I was one centimeter and at 40 I was like a centimeter and a half. Like it was nothing. So I ended up having an appointment to be induced. It was April 20th and I was like, I really don’t want her birthday to be for 20. No other reason. Just I teach high school. I know how kids are. So I was like, all right, so if I can have an appointment at like nighttime, so maybe she’ll be 21, then that’s actually what happened. So I got in that like 8 p.m. and she ended up being born the next day. So that’s good, I guess. but what happened during the birth? was not what I was expecting at all. Not at all.
Kiona 39:43
So let’s just dive right into that let’s talk about her birth
Ally 39:47
So like I said, I had an appointment to be induced. I got there at like 8:00 and they had, the labor room ready for me. they checked me and I wasn’t effaced at all. wasn’t ready to give birth at all, but they had to make me ready. they gave me a choice, between the balloon and a pill to help get my cervix. Ready. And of course, I was like, Pil, I don’t want the balloon. I don’t want anything really up there right now. I was like, really? the pill that I took, you had to wait, like, 4 hours. for them to, like, check you again to see if it worked. So in the meantime, I’m just like, they’re in the hospital bed, just like waiting around and 4 hours goes by, they check me Nothing happened. the doctor says to me, we could do a pill again, or we could do a the balloon and a pill, and that might make everything happen even faster, And like, at that point, I was like, I really don’t want to balloon And he was just like, it’ll, make the process faster. He’s like, No rush. But I’m sure you don’t want to just be, like, hanging out here without your baby and having any action at all. So I was like, All right. So they put the balloon in and it was in all night long. So like, I was able to just kind of chill all night. I mean, it was uncomfortable. I’m not going to lie like, you know, that it’s there and cramps a little bit, And finally it got me to three centimeters. I must have been like barely at three centimeters. Like it must have been like, just there. Because normally the balloon will fall out if you dilate enough, But the nurse had like tugged on it a little bit and it didn’t it didn’t want to come out. So whatever. But three centimeters is enough for pitocin So that was like in the morning. And they were like, why don’t you eat, because once the pitocin starts, you can’t eat. So I was like, Yeah, let’s do that. let’s eat. And I remember I was like texting with my sister because she was going to be my third person to come and see the birth. She had had three caesareans and I really wanted her to be there and she really wanted to be there for my son. It was my mother, but this time I needed somebody to watch my son. And, you know, nanny has to be it like it’s nanny or it’s No one. So to stay with Cristian at home, so was going to be my sister like she was supposed to be there. And I remember it was like 7:00. And I said, you know, I’m going to have some breakfast or whatever. And I think they’re going to start the pitocin after I’m done and So she was like, okay. And from what I knew about Pitocin like from what I thought, it wasn’t an immediate thing. It’s not like they inject you with Pitocin and boom, you’re, Ready to give birth. It could be hours and hours and hours and hours. So, my sister, knowing that they were going to start Pitocin pretty soon, she was like, that’s fine. I’ll put in a load of laundry, whatever I’ll get, myself ready and I’ll head over there. So I had had breakfast and it was 820, like on the dot that the nurse started the Pitocin drip. And meanwhile, like, I’m uncomfortable, it feels awful. The the balloon is still there. And so 820 they finally and I’m white and I’m like expecting this to be like not fun because inductions are usually not all that fun. Because it’s something that your body should be doing for you. Like it not it shouldn’t be forced upon you with medicine for the most part, you know, And I mean, sometimes as legitimate reasons for it. And I feel like in my case, the reasons were like COVID and age. And I wasn’t going to debate either one of those two things because it’s true. I was over 40 and I had had COVID, So 820 they start the Pitocin drip, and I’m like, you know what? I’m going to get up, go the bathroom, because this is going to be a while. So I get up and the bathroom’s like, right next to the bed. So I get up, I go to the bathroom and I’m in the bathroom and I accidentally, like, pull the emergency cord while I’m in there. And somebody comes right in. And I was like, Just kidding. Oh, sorry about that. Like, I didn’t mean to pull the emergency cord. So she leaves and there’s no nurses in my room at that point. Like they put the pitocin in and everybody’s like, do, do, do like this is going to be a process, So I get up from the toilet and my husband stand in there and all of a sudden I’m like, Oh God. And he’s standing there. And I remember just like wrapping my arms around his neck and being like, Something’s wrong. And I had a contraction so strong that what came out of my mouth was like a National Geographic, like guttural scream. it wasn’t just a contraction. It was like I don’t know how to explain it, but if you ever have had, like, severe, like gastrointestinal problems and you have to go and there’s nothing you can do about it, it just is coming. That’s exactly what it felt like. There’s nothing I can do about this. that like squeezing. And it was just like that guttural kind of voice that comes from. The cave And it broke my water And at that point I was like, This is not right. That’s not normal. Oh, my God. And so my water breaks all over the floor and I’m wondering what just happened to me. And feeling like this is not right. This is. And it’s also not over. So my husband pulls the cord again. You know, Meanwhile, I had just pulled it by accident, so thank God they came back in because, you know, sometimes they like all that woman again. and my husband was like in his little Spanish way. Her waters her her, waters broke? they were like, Yay, that’s great. You know how you know how they are with their encouragement or whatever. And I was just like, not great, not great. And I was like, Somebody please help me, because I could feel I could feel it coming on again. And the nurse comes to me and she checks me and she was like, Oh my God, this baby is right here. And she’s yells at me, Get back in the bed, get back in the bed. And I was in. I was jumping back in the bed and I my butt just hit the bed. And she goes, You might have to do this without an epidural. And it was like, not part of my plan. Not in the plan. Plan was plan was the epidural.But I remember saying, Oh, no, but as I was saying, Oh, no. Then came the second contraction, the same exact. There’s nothing you can do about this. You are not pushing. It is pushing on you. And it came and the voice came back. And when I tell you that my baby shot out of my body like a bullet, she shot out of my body like a bullet. then a nurse. And I didn’t I wasn’t even sure if she landed on the bed or if somebody had caught her. But my husband told me later, No, no. She landed right into the arms of another nurse, And my husband was there. And the two of us, like, caught eyes. And I’m certain that we were mirror image. Whatever face he had, I had the same exact. Like, what on earth just happened to me? So I got up from my bed at 820 at three centimeters, and she was born, thankfully, on the bed at 826. So in 6 minutes and with two contractions, I somehow went from 3 to 10. I went from three centimeters to baby in 6 minutes. And like I said, two contractions that were not those type of contractions that you push through They were they’re contractions of this baby’s coming out and you don’t even need to push, like just let it happen to you. And so she came out and like, f a doctor came in and the poor nurse that was attending to me most of the time was like, What happened? W? What happened? So she was like, I talked on the balloon like it was three centimeters, and I mean, I wasn’t in the position to be answering her. I was like, I don’t know, idea myself. I was like, shaking. I’m sure she was like, rhetorical question she was asking me. I’m sure she wasn’t expecting me to give her some sort of medical reason for what just happened to me. But of course, I tore in three different places and I think that was the scariest thing because like I knew he had to stitch me up and I didn’t have any epidural. And just thinking about that freaked me out even more. And I was like, Please don’t. So me without anything. So I think he gave me like lidocaine, but that was also an injection. So whatever I didn’t like, avoid any of that. But I’m going to be 100% honest with you. I don’t think I really felt it. I didn’t feel the injection and I didn’t feel the stitches because it was already so much like. Going on down there. I didn’t really feel any of that. And I, but I think I was more scared of that in the moment than I was of how my labor went, because I was at that point Out of the initial emergent issue, which was like this baby is coming out like right now when she was out, whatever. I didn’t have anything else to worry about than what was going on I had torn in three places, so they had to stitch me up. And apparently, like one of the tears was bleeding so much they had to put something on it to like help the bleeding to stop, to like coagulate the blood or whatever. And that ended up turning into a hematoma that I had for like weeks and weeks and weeks. It was super painful. So the recovery was more painful than the first time when I had Cristian, even though I was with him too. It wasn’t anywhere near as dramatic at all. as for Sara herself, she came out so precipitously so quickly that she still had a lot of amniotic fluid. And the nurses would like suction her from time to time and all of those things. usually get taken care of in the birthing process, like supposed to be gradual. It’s not supposed to be 3 to 10 centimeters in 6 minutes. I know it sounds awesome, like a six minute labor, but it was not awesome. the result was, the the amniotic fluid, all the tearing, all of that stuff. If it happens little by little, your body adapts a little bit better, even though there’s usually always some tearing. Like just imagine things are opening over the course of hours, then 6 minutes. So like, all of that was more dramatic. And on top of all of that, while the doctor was stitching me up, he cuts himself. So that adds to the problem of, oh, now we have to give you these injections and this and that, and here’s some paperwork and testing and blah, blah, blah. so. And then my poor sister, she is still at home. And the last she heard from me was there starting the pitocin. And then the next text she got was from my husband going, Sara’s here. And my sister was like, What? I just wanted to put in one load of laundry. Like, I don’t understand. So she actually missed the whole thing and it made me feel so bad and she was super disappointed, but they ended up letting her come in afterwards and stuff like that to see the baby And again, I had had no epidural, so I just walked myself over to my other room and I had nurses coming in to see me that I didn’t even know. And they were like, I heard what happened. Wow. I just wanted to, like, see me, I guess. I don’t know. But it was something that I don’t think anybody, least of all me, would have ever have expected. And I still haven’t gotten any sort of not that I’ve asked tons of people, but I still have no idea why that happened. No, I.
Kiona 51:17
Yeah. I mean, honestly, Ally, this is the pure example of what the fetal ejection reflex is. Have you heard of that?
Ally 51:26
Yeah .
Kiona 51:27
The fetal injection. Is totally it’s such a primal thing. It is totally your body taking over everything and, a lot of the time when people say that they’re prepping for labor and a lot of people hear, oh, just let go, let your body do its thing. Like the fetal injection reflex you have no time to process. You are in constant shock if like it’s happening to you. Some people literally feel like they’re dying because they have no control. And when that is happening, you have no choice but to just go, you know, like it sounds totally scary. I would be freaking out. I’m sure your husband was freaking out and obviously the nurse was freaking out like That is not common. In addition to that, I do want to say that this is also a very true example as to why getting cervical exams doesn’t really tell you how long it’s going to be.
Ally 52:29
Ye.
Kiona 52:29
So when you go and get a cervical exam, it’s literally just information. But you kind of get to take it with a grain of salt because there’s no guarantee. Like I was a birth assistant And she went from five centimeters to a baby in about 10 minutes as well. And it was like, oh, okay, your body’s just like, Now it’s time, let’s do this, let’s go. So Ally that is , whew, That’s a lot.
Ally 52:56
I know, but. Yeah.
Kiona 52:58
So tell me a little bit about what it was like for you to process your birth after you were kind of back into your body and the grounded?
Ally 53:07
Well, I would say I mean, in the immediate, like postpartum, I was way more sore than I was the first time. So that was really my main concern because I obviously breastfed my daughter. She also had a tongue tie and all of those things I had already seen and done and been through. So bam, bam, all that stuff was taken care of. Like very early on. I didn’t wait to get mastitis before I went to have her checked out and all of that stuff. But I was like, what kind of damage was done down there? Because it was like I said, I hate to use the word like traumatic because, I mean, in the end it’s totally fine and I’m fine. And, you know, it will all be okay, everyone, trust me. But to my body, it was so traumatic that I was like, oh, my God. did that, like, affect me forever? Like, what’s that going to be like? And you know what? totally healed exactly the way that it should. It took way longer. At my six week checkup, I still had a hematoma. I still had pain,
Kiona 54:08
Do you happen to know the degree that you tore?
Ally 54:12
It was a three second degree tear. Now, she was not very big. She was only like 6 pounds something, thank God. I’m sure if she had been bigger, I would have really, done some damage. And she came out and her head was like perfectly round, like people thought I had had a C-section. And I was like, Now she just broke me. She
Kiona 54:30
Yeah.
Ally 54:30
just she just she just broke me. There was nothing there to, like, stop her. She just she just came out and her head was just so cute and perfectly round. Which is I mean, people get third degree jabs, which is even
Kiona 54:42
Mm hmm.
Ally 54:42
worse.
Kiona 54:43
Right.
Ally 54:43
So I you know, I shouldn’t complain that much, but it was dramatic
Kiona 54:47
Yes, absolutely. I can totally see that. Question about your cervix, did you have a cervical prolapse at all or did you experience any tears in your cervix?
Ally 54:59
No.
Nothing.
Kiona 55:02
Yeah. That’s just like. The body is amazing.
Ally 55:06
Yeah. It’s so it’s so strange. And I maybe I don’t even know because I can’t imagine enough Pettersen even got into my system.
Kiona 55:15
Yeah. I mean, this scenario.
Ally 55:16
To do that to make.
Kiona 55:17
Scenario is pure example of when I’m like, yeah, some people are just takes a whiff of pitocin. All you got to do is smell it and your body is just like in hyperdrive, so.
Ally 55:25
It was funny because my actual O.B. was on like surgical duty that day, like she was doing C-sections, and she came up to see me and she just like everybody else, like,looked at me like, Oh. And she told me I can’t even I can’t imagine that it was the pitocin. I can’t imagine that it even got enough into your, you know, system to have cause something like that. And I don’t know if maybe it was just the balloon itself that my cervix got to a certain point was like, open right up. I don’t know. I don’t think anyone knows.
Kiona 55:56
You know what it could have.
Ally 55:58
what?
Kiona 55:59
You going to the toilet? It could have been you going to the toilet. Your body did its natural release thing on the toilet. Whenever we sit down in the toilet, our body goes into autopilot of being like, okay, relax, release. And you did that. And then you had a baby.
Ally 56:17
Yeah. I mean, totally. I could totally be that. I honestly don’t think it was the Pitocin. I mean. I had the baby in 6 minutes. Like, I don’t I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s a mystery even to me. So if anybody
Kiona 56:30
Yeah.
Ally 56:30
wants to come and study and and figure it out, I’d love to. What happened to me. I’d love to know.
Kiona 56:38
Oh, my gosh, Ally. Okay. So let’s go into postpartum with Sara. Any postpartum mood disorders or anxieties or stressors with her?
Beautiful
Ally 56:51
with the second one, you just feel like, you know, some stuff. started pumping way sooner. I knew immediately like she has a time to I like we got to get this fixed. I never got to the point like with Cristian because you had said before like there was always pain with breastfeeding. You just don’t know what pain is normal and what’s not. And that’s exactly what happened to my mother. She just kept breastfeeding my brother. and she got herself sicker and sicker and sicker. And I wasn’t going to let that happen to me a second time. And even the going to the bathroom thing with Sara, I was like, not happening. Not happening. I will use a suppository. I am not letting this go. Blah, blah, blah. So I went before I even left the hospital and that was that. I just was like, not again. So at like the after was fine. I mean, it was, you know, I had a toddler. He wasn’t even two that was, rough. But my husband was able to take some time off and yeah, and my mother was around and, you know, it was it was totally fine. And I didn’t have any of those weird, like, wake up in the middle of the night issues. It was only when I was pregnant with Cristian.
Kiona 58:00
Ally, this is awesome. I am so thankful that you shared your stories like They’re both also completely different. you just listening to you talk and like even how you were feeling in your pregnancies and what happened with each birth. and you, yourself and your partner are the same people. You know what I mean? Like, obviously over years we grow and adjust, and evolve. But Totally completely different pregnancies and births. So.
Ally 58:25
Yep.
Kiona 58:26
Okay. My heart is full now of like, all of. Juicy details from this. I love it. I love it so much. I think that now is a good time to wrap up this interview. Is there anything that you want to talk about that I didn’t touch on yet?
Ally 58:40
I had always with both pregnancies and with my father, that like kind of weird knowledge that everything was going to be all right. and even when something comes up or something came up with anything like any little tiny thing, I would always be like, Dad, really? had that kind of peace of mind, even though I like, I would prefer so badly that he’s, he had a hold. My kids, I know he knows them. And I feel like he’s kind of had his hand in why. I have both. I don’t I don’t blame him for the second debacle. I don’t blame him for the birth of Sara at all. That wasn’t him. Not he didn’t have anything to do with that. That was the pitocin. But, it was in a weird way, a beautiful piece of knowing, like, he’s watching me and he’s got me. So when it comes to, like, feeling a lot of worry, I didn’t. And so that was that’s like the you know, the one good thing I guess that can come out of something sad is. They’re not gone. You know, they’re just not they’re not present the way that you want, but they’re they are.
Kiona 59:48
You know what I’m excited for? For you, Ally?
Ally 59:51
What’s that?
Kiona 59:52
I am excited for you to see your dad come out and both of your children as they get older
Ally 59:58
Are they? Are they already? My son has his hands, has his feet. My daughter looks like his side of the family. He’s he’s he’s here. I.
Kiona 1:00:09
I love that. I love that for you. So I just have three final closing questions for you my first question is, what is one piece of advice that you would give to all pregnant people to prepare for labor, birth and postpartum?
Ally 1:00:24
I guess. I don’t know. I guess that’s kind of like a twofold thing. Like. It is always good to have. And I know you’ve you’ve made that distinction before between like a plan and a preference. Like, you know, you can call it a plan, but like, there is no guarantee. When it comes to giving birth. And I know my second birth is 100% like an example of that. So have your plan. Just remember that, your brain should sometimes remind your heart that, like, it might not go that way. And if it doesn’t, it is okay. And so I guess another thing that I would say is whenever you plan that’s good enough, like whatever your plan is, just know. If you say it to somebody that did something else and liked what they did, they might say, Oh, maybe that’s not a good plan, but just try your hardest to like make your decision and be happy with it. Do whatever it is that you want and don’t let people, like tell you otherwise,
Kiona 1:01:23
So the gist of what you’re saying is it’s fine to make a plan, but be open to when it changes because nothing ever goes as planned.
Ally 1:01:34
100%.
Kiona 1:01:35
Okay.
Ally 1:01:36
Oh, and you’re never too old. Everyone, even though that gets put in your brain and they have words like geriatric. Advanced maternal age. That’s nice. Still feels horrible to read it on everything. It’s.It’s fine. I had my baby at 41 back to my Zumba. Everything’s fine. So you’re never too old.
Kiona 1:01:56
Beautiful. my next question is what is one resource that I can share with my listeners on your behalf?
Ally 1:02:05
I always recommend Zumba, like for anyone. I’m like, What? You’re sad. Go to Zumba. Like you’re bored. Go to Zumba. And but not everybody is like somebody that likes to dance. There are people that get their kicks from like, CrossFit and like, weightlifting. But if you like to dance, I have a YouTube channel that I have some of my, like, choreography on, and I have some videos of me dancing pregnant. If you want a good laugh at yourself at me, I should say for yourself. I have some videos of me and my pregnant friend when we were both pregnant together. She’s from Brazil, so I always make her do the videos of my Brazilian songs and we do those together. If you want to see what Zumba is before you like, show up at a class. But it’s so fun. And the hour goes by so fast. Because that’s one of the things about going to the gym. It’s like you’re on the treadmill and it’s like 15 minutes goes by and it feels like an eternity.
Kiona 1:02:55
Mm.
Ally 1:02:56
But Zumba was by so, so fast
Kiona 1:02:58
Beautiful. Beautiful. Yes. Moving your body through Zumba. A great, great resource. Now, my last question for you is, if you could describe each of your births with one word, what would it be?
Ally 1:03:12
Oh, boy. I guess I would say a surprise because every burst of surprise, like you’re surprised if it goes the way you want. You’re surprised if it doesn’t. It’s it’s total surprise. It’s a surprise. And that’s goes right back to the planning. Like, how do you plan for something that’s going to be a surprise? Do the best you can. And if you’re surprised by something else, You know, you just kind of have to go with it as best you can.
Kiona 1:03:38
Yes, absolutely. Ally, thank you so much for sharing your stories with me. I am so happy that you felt comfortable sharing these. And I am 100% sure that many of my listeners will be able to relate to how you felt throughout your pregnancies and the terror that came in your mind when you were feeling those very, very primal instincts of birth. So. Yes.
Ally 1:04:05
Yeah, that was interesting.
Kiona 1:04:08
It
Ally 1:04:08
Can’t
Kiona 1:04:08
was.
Ally 1:04:08
wait to hear people’s reactions. I’d love to. I’d love to hear other people’s stories like that
Kiona 1:04:14
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, the best place to do that is joining the Facebook group. So
Ally 1:04:18
I’m already there.
Kiona 1:04:20
Definitely
Ally 1:04:20
Everybody
Kiona 1:04:20
talk about
Ally 1:04:21
else
Kiona 1:04:21
it.
Ally 1:04:21
joined the Facebook.
Kiona 1:04:22
Yes. Awesome. Ally, So thank you so much.
Ally 1:04:27
Thank you.
Outro 1:04:40
During this interview with Ally, it became very clear and reminded all of us that the environment around us and the people we love and care for can truly impact our pregnancies and the decisions we make during those pregnancies. And in addition to that. Ally’s two very different birth experiences are a prime example as to how one person can have two very different experiences. And even though you think you know what to expect, things don’t always go to plan. So try your best to be open to change and adjust when things are necessary. Now, Ally, I want to give a huge personal thank you for sharing your stories with me. I also want to give a small dedication in remembrance of your father, because you can truly tell how much you love him and how much you see him in your babies. So thank you so much. Me and all of the listeners truly appreciate you. Now, as for you listeners, if you would like to see the show notes for this episode as well as a few pictures, you can head over to
birthasweknowitpodcast. com/74. well You can do that by going to
com/community I ask a question every single . Friday and would love to hear your input. And if you really liked this episode, I truly . think that I ask a question every single Friday and would love to hear your input. And if you really liked this episode, I truly think that you should check out episode 63 with Tessa and Jeff Sanders. They share their two very precipitous and very different birth experiences as well. So thank you so much to all of you beautiful BAWKI listeners. I truly appreciate you I will talk to you again soon. Bye for now.
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