Description
Kelly shares how she came up with the idea of the breastmilk-sharing app Share The Drop. She also talks about its impacts on the breast cancer community and families with new babies as well as going into how the search filters work on the app.
birthasweknowitpodcast.com/sharethedrop
Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only with no intention of giving or replacing any medical advice. I, Kiona Nessenbaum, am not a licensed medical professional. All advice that is given on the podcast is from the personal experience of the storytellers. All medical or health-related questions should be directed to your licensed provider.
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Transcription of BONUS-Share The Drop:
Intro 0:01
Hey, this is Kiona, and you are listening to Birth As We Know It. Every other Wednesday you’ll hear new episodes with births, stories and experiences told directly from the people who experience them. But today you are listening to a BAWKI bonus. These episodes will be a mixture of resources, information and tools that can be helpful as you journey through pregnancy, labor, birth and postpartum. If you’d like to be a part of the discussion about these episodes, we’d love for you to join us and the Birth As We Know It Podcast community on Facebook. Just go to birthasweknowitpodcast. com/community and we will happily welcome you into the BAWKI fam. All right, let’s dive into this episode and learn something new.
Kiona 0:48
Some of you may be curious as to why you are seeing an episode this when truly this is a bonus episode. I am excited to be starting to do some bonus episodes because there’s so much information to share related to birth and I love birth stories, but in addition to birth stories, there are birth resources and information that should be put out there too. So I have Kelly with me today, and Kelly is the founder and creator of an app called Share the Drop. So, Kelly, welcome. And tell us a little bit about yourself.
Kelly 1:21
Thank you for having me. I am a I’ve spent the last 1718 years working as a pre and post-natal yoga instructor. I have been a birth doula for about ten years. I do not have children of my own. It literally never crossed my mind to do that. But I love pregnant women. I love attending birth, but more than like prenatal yoga and doing that birth support. I really just have found a lot of community involved in these like childbearing years. So I live in Virginia. I owned a pre and post-natal yoga studio for a decade. But we had a lot of classes classes and so we had grief and loss support groups, some groups for infertility. But by far the best offering I ever had was a weekly every Friday, completely free to anyone in the community lactation support group. And that group was packed every week. It was just the whole lobby was full of strollers and there were moms sitting down to lactation consultants, ran it, and the moms just talked about everything under the sun. but really, this idea about feeding your baby, I have found, in my opinion, is so difficult. We spend so much time making a birth plan. And very, very little time making a feeding plan. So kind of behind the scenes, I was always, if you might like, a local milk broker, moms would come to me and say, I have so much milk, I don’t know how to get rid of it. Other parents would say, I need milk. How do I do this? And I was constantly sending them to Facebook there’s a huge population of family sharing milk on Facebook. But the problem was it’s a very clunky system and so every single time I would recommend these groups, people would come back and say, I don’t have time to do this. You know, I have a newborn or maybe some toddlers,a home, a job, a life, a relationship. And I’m going on these Facebook groups trying to track down the one that’s closest to me. Waiting for someone to admit me into the group. And then once you’re in. It was like these forum based messages, right? It’s all these posts and you have to they’re constantly going back and checking to someone. Leave me a message or someone respond. And it was just like they were ships. Like passing each other in the night. And so because of the families I was working with, just they were like, we need something easier. I just became the easy option. And so I knew my clients really well. And I would say, Oh, Kiona has milk and Sarah needs it. And so I was always just connecting women and then in 2017, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And at that point, so many women in my community reached out and they were like, Hey, this has been on my mind ever since I got treatment or I been diagnosed. How am I going to feed my baby? And so I just kept saying, I’ll get you milk, don’t worry, I’ll do it. And then it was just this overwhelming thing. I had a refrigerator the other studio. There was always some sort of breast milk in there. Sometimes there were placentas. If I left the hospital, I came straight, from a birth. But I saw, first of all, women who had access just saying, look, my baby is thriving, my baby’s gaining weight. I have this liquid gold. I don’t know what to do with it. There’s no way of pouring it down. Please, just help me figure out someone to give this to. And then other parents who I would help get milk would come back and say, That was so helpful. I felt like I was able to give my child the very best nutrition. And not only that, but I met two donors who are now good friends of mine because we’re all in this community together. And so that was going on for a long time. And literally one night I had had a very long day at the studio. I came home maybe nine at night. I poured myself a glass of wine. I opened up my laptop and there was two emails. One was from a client who was moving across the country, and she said, As much as I’d like to take all my frozen breast milk, my husband is not on board with that. Who can I give it to? And quite literally, the email underneath that was from a woman who was pregnant with her fourth had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, and she was like, as soon as I get birth, I have to get treatment. How can I get milk? And so I knew that they live just a few miles apart. And so as I was emailing them to connect them, I got a notification on my phone from Bumble. So there was this guy ten miles away, and that was that was the light bulb moment of, oh, my gosh, all these Facebook groups that are doing wonderful work, if we just put it into an app and like in real time where you get, local milk because you’re creating an app based on your zip code, not only can you like get messages, notifications, as soon as someone matches with you, as soon as someone sends you a message, we could not only get milk to babies that day, but also build in more support for families. And so being a lover of babies and women, I was like, This is a great idea. but more so it’s like that community building. I know you have kids. Those early days of parenthood are, you know, you’re not sleeping. you’re out of the normal roles in your life. You might not be going to work, but you’re isolated with this baby. And if you were someone who wasn’t able to produce enough milk or maybe you couldn’t produce any milk at all, think about breast cancer survivors. People who adopt or use a surrogate extended family members taking care of babies, same sex couples. There’s a whole of families who just can’t produce milk. And if that’s what you want, then why not use technology to just make the system easier? So that’s literally how Share the Drop came about. I’m very, very proud of it. it’s up, it’s running, it’s working. Well, now I just need everyone to know that it’s an option.
Kiona 7:03
Yeah. No, I love the evolution of this app because it’s not just I see a need and I’m going to do something. It’s like, no, you are literally working through how to share milk, how to get milk, all of this. And then you just happen to get a notification on Bumble and the idea of having this kind of app so easily accessible to people and to have someone say, Ding, I have milk five miles down the road if you need it. I downloaded this app and as soon as I logged in, I will say I said I was someone that needed milk. I love that there’s filters. And I’m going to ask you a little bit more about those. There’s filters that you can go through, and as soon as I hit publish this is what I’m looking for. There was someone two miles away and then ten miles away and seven miles away. And I’m like, Oh my gosh. And these are like real people. Real families not like bots. It’s literally people saying, Hey, I’m down the road if you need something. I love it so much. let’s go ahead and talk a little bit about these filters, because I know that a lot of people that are looking for breast milk have concerns about how trustworthy they can be if people as they’re producing milk. So go ahead and tell us what filters are on there and then we’ll dive into how to ensure that those filters are actually accurate.
Kelly 8:27
So we talk about do you are you taking any medications? I’m not asking you to put that on an app, but when you match with someone, ask them like, what medications are you taking? What is your dietary factors? Do you consume dairy or gluten or whatever it is? Because there are some babies who, of course, have some allergies do you consume caffeine? Do you consume alcohol? There’s also kind of like an other. So you can say I’ve had the COVID vaccine or I have it. That’s important to people. I’m actually having my team at a kosher filter because I realize I was talking to some moms in New York and they’re like, That’s very important to us. So it’s kind of the basic, what you ingest and what you put into your body, which might come through milk. Now, the other things we do upon onboarding for donors, we asked them if a recipient is interested in seeing any recent lab work. Is that something you would be willing to show them? Again, we’re not uploading that because of HIPAA, but any woman who is lactating has some recent lab work, and so if they agree to do that, we put a little medical icon on their profile. So recipients. Now that’s one more thing they can ask. I have some sharing guidelines and so we encourage them, like ask them what are your pumping practices? How are you sterilizing your bottles? How are you storing it? And then one of the things about having it local is you can say because it’s kind of like a vetting process, right? If I like all my friends have babies and so they’re now talking about like, wait, what preschool are you going to and why and how do you make these decisions? But I want you to say, who did you go to for prenatal yoga? Did you have a doula who’s your pediatrician? And then you can kind of like that and you’re like, oh, you went to that yoga class and then, you know, your friend and you’re like, Hey, I’m about to get milk from this donor. Do you remember her from yoga or you might figure out that you’re friends with their neighbors? And so very much informed consent and education has to be done. If you are receiving someone’s breast milk, it’s up to you to understand if they tell you they’re on a medication to go and do your due diligence and make sure that’s a safe option for you. But I want it to be ask as many questions as possible. So thinking about like a dating app. I could very well go on a dating app today, match with someone and go sleep with them. Right now it’s up to me to make those decisions. But when I am not on dating apps anymore, I don’t think I’ll do that again. But when I did, I wasn’t sure. I was asking them a lot of questions. Lifestyle. are you a big drinker? That wasn’t very appealing to me. Like, what is your lifestyle? I like to be really active. If someone’s like, Oh, I just like, stay around and watch movies, whatever it is, it’s asking all those questions that are crucial for you and then making the right decision. Like we give guidelines and don’t go to someone’s house that you’ve never met. Maybe meet them in a brightly lit park. Tell someone where you’re going. It’s all about kind of how to keep yourself safe. I will say that sometimes because we are a newer app and we’re growing, we don’t have a ton of users everywhere. So as you as you filter down, you might not get as many people in your feed. So I always say like, start with your ideal. You know, I want someone who there’s no caffeine, no alcohol or, gluten free, dairy free, all these things that might kind of dwindle your feed down. But I want you to understand that you’re talking to a human being, right? what I get asked a lot about is safety and how do I know this is safe? Well, the number one safety feature we have is we do not allow donors to be paid for milk. and I get a little pushback from this because people are like, but I’m working so hard and I’m pumping. I get that. I totally understand how hard it is to pump and store milk. But the fact of the matter is, as soon as we open that up to be profitable, people can give you anything they can. They can lie in their profile and say, I don’t drink at all, but they do. And they could give you maybe breast milk. They can give you nonfat milk, they could give you watered down anything. And then then we have issues, right? Someone just altruistically has more than their baby can consume. one of the things I might ask a donor is like, can I see a picture of your baby? If you see this baby with just these gorgeous little rolls and stuff, Right. Like and someone’s giving it to you out of the kindness of their heart. That, for me, takes a lot of the safety measures out of it. And I you know, I do go on Facebook a lot and look in these groups and people are selling milk. There are there are ways for you to do that. It’s just not on my platform.
Kiona 12:45
Yeah, that makes total sense. And I do understand both sides of that of like, oh my gosh, I’m working so hard, like I’m pumping all the time and, this is a lot of effort on my part. But then also when there is that monetized aspect of it, it really does kind of take away the has the ability, I should say, to take away the moral and ethical aspects of it because people then want to make money versus wanting to give out of the kindness of their heart or because they have this extra abundance of milk. So I get it. I totally,totally get it. when you created this app, what was your overall vision for it? Did you hope to have it be global nationally? Like, what was your intention behind that?
Kelly 13:26
I definitely wanted it to be national. I mean, there are 3.3 million babies born every year, right? Not everyone can feed those babies. I want it to be an easier route for people to get milk. So think about what happens in times of war or or in times of crises. So when we first launched the app, it was shortly after the war in Ukraine started. And immediately there was this messaging coming out from women. There saying, We don’t have clean water. Well, the same thing just happened after Hurricane Helene and these women, and especially western North Carolina, they were like, we don’t have the ability to use the formula you’re sending. some people were sending ready made formula, which is great, but it costs a lot more, a lot more transporting because of the weight of all that. And so that was difficult. But if they didn’t have water and they didn’t have electricity, like sterilize, their parts, we were sending them formula that was not working. And you know what women there were doing in both situations, They were sharing milk. Because also in western North Carolina, they had roads out where trucks couldn’t even come in to bring in formula. Right. So it’s times like that as well where you’re like, wait a second, how are babies being fed? Well, the old fashioned way, Like we’ve always done it, you know, like we had wet nursing. But now this community sharing is more about like, of course, people need a water. We got the water right? Why could we not kind of use the tools that were already available to help them feed their babies? I have a lot of donors on the app who have reached out and said it was really, really important to me. The second time I was feeding that I had an access, that I had donated it because my baby was in the NICU and received donor milk there. Or I have a friend now who did have some excess milk, her first baby, and she was able to donate it to a friend that she met to the other studio, but then had breast cancer and now has a baby via surrogate and she is now getting milk back. And so it is this reciprocal thing, a lot of it for me is not only do I think you should be able to get milk, I did decide that I wanted a baby, it would be very, very important to me that they had breast milk. I simply can’t produce it. But we used to raise our babies all together. Grannies and sisters and aunties all helped in especially those early postpartum days. But we just don’t do that anymore. And so I’m just a big believer in community. And the more we work together, the better we all are. And so that is kind of my altruistic side of it. I just want families who want access to milk to get it, and I want them to start showing up together. When I had my yoga studio, there was a woman who came. She just moved to town. She didn’t know anyone. She had a newborn and she came to a yoga class of mine and then never stopped coming. and then I would see her coming and like talking to other women on the mats. And then I would see them leave and, you know, go have coffee together. Well, fast forward eight years. I was at a party at her house and there were seven families there. All seven of those moms met at my yoga studio and have all become friends and raise their babies together. Right. And so that is my ultimate goal because if we just took care of each other more in the most simple ways, and sometimes it is like, Hey, a mom is struggling and does not want to send her partner to the store for formula, but she’s worried about her baby. And then there’s a lady three houses down who can help you instantly. So that’s my that’s my big dream.
Kiona 16:47
I love it. I love it. It sounds like the dream is just to bring back that community that especially here in Western cultures, has been pushed away because of the ideal hope of independence. And that is very troublesome to like how we grow families in society today, especially in the Western culture, is not built for parents, it is built for hard work, always working for someone else and doing all the things. So yes, Kelly, I love that. So much. I love, love, love, love this app. So tell me how my listeners can find your app and what devices this app is on.
Kelly 17:25
So this is a Web based app. so you can go directly to sharethedrop. com, create an account right there. You can download it on your phone, opt in for a SMS notifications. And so it works just like any other app, but you just go to the website. In the beginning of thinking about all this, I was like, if I have an app, I have to be on the Apple Store, right? Like, that’s where everyone goes. And in fact, if I’m talking to someone at a party, they pull up their phone and they’re like, start to look an apple. I’m not there. It’s a web app, but you don’t have to have a smartphone to use it. You don’t have to have a computer. I do have a subscription fee for people looking for milk. I waive that if they’re quicker snap eligible. And I do get emails from people saying I’m at the wick office and I’m using this, app here. I just think that like, let’s remove all barriers to entrance. you can follow me on all socials. Let’ just share the drop, but sharethedrop. com it has all the information about the app, how it works. There are some screening guidelines for you.All the information is there and anyone at any time can email me. It’s Kelly kelly@sharethedrop. com. I’m happy to talk about this with anyone answer any questions. I have pretty thick skin, so send feedback. I just need to like spread the word far and wide.
Kiona 18:32
Yes. Yeah, absolutely. And that’s what we’re here for, because I truly do love the idea of this app and I love the fact that families can really get what they need in addition to growing a community and knowing that there are others around them that are going through very similar things. So thank you, Kelly. Thank you so much for sharing this. And if those listening now want to get more information, of course you can go to sharethedrop. com but in addition to that, you can go to
birthasweknowitpodcast. com/sharethedrop. Awesome. Thanks, Kelly.
Kelly 19:04
Thank you.
Outro 19:07
Thank you so much for listening to the Birth As We Know It podcast. To get notified about all new bonus episodes and all new episodes of people sharing their birth stories or experiences, make sure you follow or subscribe to the Birth As We Know It Podcast on your favorite podcast streaming app or anywhere else you listen to podcasts. If you found the information in this episode interesting or helpful, don’t keep it to yourself. Share it with someone so they can learn something too. All right, friends, it was great learning with you. Let’s do it again soon.
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