Please note: some of the images below may contain partial nudity
Description:
In this episode, I have the honor of interviewing my oldest and 9-year-old daughter Kavina about her being present at her sibling’s births. She was an active part of the team during both of the births. Once at just 4 years old and once and 8 years old. She mentions the good, the bad, and the ugly!
Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only with no intention of giving or replacing any medical advice. I, Kiona Nessenbaum, am not a licensed medical professional. All advice that is given on the podcast is from the personal experience of the storytellers. All medical or health-related questions should be directed to your licensed provider.
The resources I mention in this episode are listed below:
- Midwife- Mercedes Snyder: https://www.sbmidwiferycare.com/
- Birth Doula- Kristin Travis: https://www.BEarthmate.com/
- Maternity & Birth Photography- Gabi Iazzetti:https://iazzettiphotos.com/
The links in the section below are affiliate links. This means I get a small compensation from the companies that are linked as a “thank you”. There is no additional cost to you, however. I appreciate your support!
- Pregmate (50) Pregnancy test strips: https://amzn.to/3kr3gYp
- Clearblue Digital Pregnancy Tests- 3 pack: https://amzn.to/3IYzQdE
Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode! If you liked this podcast episode, don’t hesitate to share it and leave a review. It really helps bring the podcast up for others to find and listen to as well.
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Transcription of Episode 4:
Kiona-Host: Hello and welcome to Birth as we know it. I am your podcast host, Kiona Nessenbaum. I have experienced birth as a doula, a student midwife and as a mother of three amazing children with my husband and high school sweetheart by my side. After attending over 130 births, including my own, I’ve realized that each birth experience is truly unique.
So make sure you subscribe and join me every week as we are guided through many different birth experiences through the lens of the storyteller. Please be aware that some of the stories can be triggering to hear, so feel free to pause, take a breath, and come back and listen whenever you’re ready. With that said, let’s prep ourselves to dive deep and get detailed about what really happens in the birth space.
All right. Hello everyone, and welcome back to the Birth as we know at podcast. Today, I have a very special guest with me. I have my daughter, Kavina. Kavina, would you say hello?
Kavina: Hello everybody.
Kiona-Host: So tell us a little bit about yourself. How old are you?
Kavina: I am nine years old and my favorite color is like the Galaxy.
Kiona-Host: Oh, the Galaxy, okay. Yeah. Awesome. What’s your favorite activity to do?
Kavina: Mm, probably like jam to music and stuff, but I also like to color.
Kiona-Host: Hmm. So do you just color or do you draw your own pictures?
Kavina: Color, but I also like to draw a little bit more.
Kiona-Host: Ah, okay. Yeah. What’s your favorite thing to draw right now?
Kavina: Probably anime. I really like to draw anime.
Kiona-Host: Nice. I like that. I will actually post a picture of one of your favorite anime drawings, if you’re okay with that on the website.
Kavina: Okay. Yeah.
Kiona-Host: So that people can see your anime drawings of today. Today we’re gonna be talking about two birth experiences. We’re gonna be talking about Kairo’s birth experience and we’re also going to be talking about Katana’s birth experience. So since Kairo was first, let’s go ahead and talk about Kairo’s birth experience. Do you remember when we told you when we were expecting Kairo?
Kavina: I do, and I remember how… I remember it because when we were both sitting on our, the couch, daddy, you and then me and we are just eating this like taffy candy. I don’t remember what it was called, but it was really good. And then you were like, I think Daddy or you, you were like, guess what? And I was like, what? And then you, they were like, I, I don’t know who said it, but it was either you or Daddy. And then daddy was like, I’m just gonna say it was daddy. But Daddy was like, you’re gonna be a big sister. And I was like, yay.
Kiona-Host: Do you remember how old you were when we told you?
Kavina: I think I might have been like, just turning four because I remember that because that’s when I remember like when Kairo was like born and stuff. Yeah. I was like just turned four.
Kiona-Host: Yeah. So you were like around three and a half. Yeah. And then you had just turned four a few months before Kairo was born. What were your feelings going through your head when you found out that you were gonna be a big sister?
Kavina: I was really excited and I was like, I was still processing because I didn’t really know what a big sister was, but I was like, Yay. I’m so excited. And then daddy was like, there’s gonna be a baby in the house. And I was like, a baby. And then that’s when it kind of like clicked in my mind.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm. That’s awesome. I, I love that you still kind of remember that feeling. Yeah. Did you know that mommy and daddy were trying to make it to where you were having a sibling?
Kavina: I didn’t, but I can tell why, because sometimes I get like really lonely and I want somebody to play with me. But it’s not exactly that right now.
Kiona-Host: Yeah. . Um, did you do anything to, or did, did we do anything to help you prepare for being at the birth? I remember talking to you a little bit.
Kavina: Yeah.
Kiona-Host: Do you, can you go into a little bit of detail of what you remember of how we talked to you.
Kavina: I think I remember like us, like sitting on our bed and we just had like this full conversation and we were like, so we may have to like, like watch the baby and stuff and like change their diaper and stuff. So then like we won’t have as much attention on like, only me and like, we’re gonna also have to care for the baby too.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm.
Kavina: like getting me prepared.
Kiona-Host: Yeah. That was getting you prepared to be a sibling. Yeah. Um, do you remember any preparations of like what we did to prepare you for the birth? Because we asked you if you wanted to be around because for Kairo, we were having a home birth, you know, and so we asked you if you wanted to be like, present in the room when your brother was gonna be born. Do you remember that at all?
Kavina: I do not.
Kiona-Host: That’s okay. Yeah, I can just, I’ll just touch on it a little bit. Um, I remember talking to you a little bit about asking if you wanted to be around and you know you’re four at the time. And so I spoke to you in a way that was a little bit more understanding for that age.
Kavina: Yeah.
Kiona-Host: And so I showed you a couple of birth videos, home birth videos.
Kavina: Mm-hmm. , I remember that part.
Kiona-Host: yeah. Some of them weren’t super, like, you know, at first I tried to show you ones that weren’t too
Kavina: drastic.
Kiona-Host: Exactly. They weren’t too drastic. But then we did end up watching one where the baby was coming out.
Kavina: Mm-hmm.
Kiona-Host: And I remember you being a little shocked. Did you feel any kind of way as you watched my belly grow throughout my pregnancy?
Kavina: Um, I don’t think I really noticed it until you actually, like had the belly. And I was like, and I remember like, I look back at all these photos and I was always like, hugging on the belly or like kissing it. and I remember I was really excited.
Kiona-Host: Yeah, I remember that too. One photo in particular that I remember is we were swimming and I was in my bathing suit and so were you, and then you were hugging me and just like kissing my, my belly. Hmm. In the bathroom. I was bald at that time.
Kavina: Oh yeah
Kiona-Host: Do you remember that?
Kavina: Yeah. , not exactly bald, but you got a buzz cut.
Kiona-Host: Yeah, that’s right. I did. I got a buzz cut. All right, let’s go ahead and bounce forward to his birth.
Kavina: Mm-hmm.
Kiona-Host: Do you remember at all …
Kavina: I do remember some stuff, I remember like when you were in the bathtub and like daddy was like massaging your head and stuff, making you feel comfortable, and there was like this huge like bowl. And it was like this huge yellow bowl and I just kept on getting bath water and like pouring it on your tummy because that’s what the midwife said to do because I saw her doing it and I was like, I wanna help, I wanna try. And I just kept doing that and I was like, I’m helping. And I just felt super cool.
And then like Momo, my auntie. She was taking photos and stuff and I remember in like two of the photos I like snagged in and I would just like, I kind of just like got into the photo and then it was funny because then she actually let me be in one of the photos.
Kiona-Host: I think that’s where the, the famous selfie photo came from.
Kavina: Yeah.
Kiona-Host: Um, that’s awesome. Do you remember, um, anything else about the birth?
Kavina: I do remember like at the end when Kairo came out, that was, that wasn’t traumatizing, but it was a day that I would remember. Um, like once Kairo came out, the water did get like a little bloody and then like I was like, I didn’t really think much of it.
And then Kairo, like we were cutting his umbilical cord and stuff like that. And then you held him for like a couple seconds cuz you were like, wow, I finally popped out this baby and then daddy took the baby and then he was like rocking it. And then I remember somebody gave you a banana.
Kiona-Host: Yeah. I thought it was you that gave me a banana.
Kavina: I, I think Juju handed me the banana. Yeah. And then I gave it to you. But I remember that. And then I remember how like you passed out and then it was kind of like scary. Like I cried because it was kind of scary. And then like, um, my mom’s midwife, her name is Mercedes, um, she was kind of like freaking out and we, she was like, Not over-exaggerating, but really scared because this is like the first time this has happened, maybe I think , but um, she called 9 1 1 and I was really like, what’s going on?
And then like, I heard sirens and that’s when I got scared and like I kept on going to my dad, but my dad was holding the baby. And then I realized that, I think we went into the, somebody like one of my family members went into the ambulance with my mom. Was it daddy or did Daddy?
Kiona-Host: It was Juju.
Kavina: Juju. My grandma went into the ambulance with my mom and my dad was getting like all the clothes on Kairo because it was like really cold.
And I remember I was really scared and I didn’t know what was going on and my mom or my dad was like putting Kairo in his car seat and stuff. And I was like, what’s going on? Like why? Why is everybody on the move? Everybody was getting in their cars and stuff. And then I remember Kairo getting like his seat inside of the car and I would just buckle it up and I didn’t know what was happening and we were driving to the hospital to go see my mom and I remember I was mad because I didn’t get to go into the room and I was just like, I was so mad, but I was also kind of cold because I was wearing like my itty bitty little shorts. You remember those like the pink good polka dots or like leopard prints? That was, yeah, it was, I was scared.
Kiona-Host: Yeah. Tell me more about that. Like once you got to the hospital, do you remember anything there?
Kavina: I remember it was really white, like it was like white floors and stuff, and I remember. . I think somebody like when Daddy went into the room, people were taking turns going in. I think, I don’t really exactly remember because it was like five years ago.
But um, I do remember like, I was just sitting in the chair and one of my family members were like, like holding me and I was just like, like keeping me safe. And I was just like, I didn’t know what’s going on and everybody had to like care for Kairo and stuff. And I was like, what’s going on? And I don’t really remember stuff after that, but I do remember how we got home Safe
Kiona-Host: Yeah, I was gonna say, do you just remember us coming home? ? Yeah. That’s good. I remember one thing. Do you remember the thing that you said to me the day after your brother was born that made me really sad?
Kavina: Mm-hmm. ? I don’t think so. .
Kiona-Host: Do you remember at all ?
Kavina: That time When I was crying?
Kiona-Host: Yeah.
Kavina: Okay. So . Oh, it just slipped outta my mind. But I remember I was like, mom, I need your help. I forgot ,
Kiona-Host: You, um, told me that. Uh, I didn’t love you anymore.
Kavina: Oh, yeah, I remember that because like we were changing the baby’s diaper and then I just ran into my room and I had this huge unicorn, like plushy stuffed animal, and I just started crying in it, and it was in my closet too, and it was so sad.
Kiona-Host: Okay. How was developing that relationship with your brother once he was here?
Kavina: It was really fun because like I remember all the times I’ve been playing with him and stuff and like all the videos, those were super fun. Like I used to like when he got a little bit older and like he was like kind of walking and stuff. The first thing I did was I used to dress him up in like a dress and like put on all these bracelets and I remember a time where I painted his nails and I did his hair done and I was like, I remember your reaction and you were like, what?
Kiona-Host: I was like, where did you get that? Yeah. But yeah, it was like, I remember one video that we have is of Kairo in a green fairy.
Kavina: Oh yeah.
Kiona-Host: Like Halloween costume or something. If I can find a picture, I’ll also put that on the website.So that is your experience with Kairo’s birth.
Kavina: Mm-hmm.
Kiona-Host: Do you want to now dive into Katana’s birth?
Kavina: Yes. I was waiting for this moment,
Kiona-Host: okay.
Kavina: Because I remember it like so clear. So,
Kiona-Host: okay. Wait, before you dive into the birth
Kavina: mm-hmm.
Kiona-Host: let’s talk about the moment that you found out we were having Katana.
Kavina: Oh yeah, that was really exciting. There was a video, so I remember you gave a card to Daddy and it was like, baby Ness number three. Or something. And then I walked into the room and I was wearing like my gown or something and I was like, just like we were playing pretend Me and Kairo and I walked upstairs and then I was like, mom, are you pregnant? And then you were like, what? And then, Like we were talking and stuff, and then you were like, I’m pregnant. And I was like, and Kairo didn’t get that click like I did when you told me. And he was like, huh. And then my mom was like, we’re gonna have a baby, like another baby. And then Kairo was like, oh. , like something, he was like, I wanted to be the baby.
Kiona-Host: Well, he’s like, I’m a baby. But then first we had to stop him from putting the pregnancy test in his mouth. Do you remember that?
Kavina: Yeah.
Kiona-Host: And then we had to explain to him that just because another baby’s coming doesn’t mean that he’s seven. Because you were seven.
Kavina: Yeah.
Kiona-Host: When, um, were you seven?
Kavina: I think so yeah.
Kiona-Host: Yeah. You were seven. You were seven when we found out about her.
Kavina: Mm-hmm.
Kiona-Host: and he’s like, I’m seven. And we were like, no, you’re still. What, three?
Kavina: Three? Yeah. Yeah. He was like, now that I’m a big brother, I’m seven.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm.
Kavina: Because I was seven and I was a big sister.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm. I think it’s cute how he made that kind of connection in his mind.
Kavina: Yeah.
Kiona-Host: Yeah. I remember you and Daddy cried.
Kavina: Mm-hmm. .
Kiona-Host: Yeah.
Kavina: I ran up to my dad and he picked me up and then I remember in the video he noticed that there was a hidden camera.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm.
Kavina: And then he just like went into the bathroom and he was like wiping all the tears and he was like, we’re so excited. . .
Kiona-Host: Yeah. I’m not crying.
Kavina: Yeah.
Kiona-Host: Yeah.
Kavina: I was the first one to find the hidden camera though. And I was like, ha.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm. . That’s true. That is very true. How was the pregnancy from your perspective?
Kavina: The pregnancy was really fun. I remember like when we were going around and we were like traveling, we weren’t traveling, but like we were going to places and like I remember that one time when we, when you wore that yellow dress. It was really pretty on you.
Kiona-Host: Oh, thank you.
Kavina: Yeah, I remember when we went to like the park and then there was like the huge trees, and then there was this old ice cream truck, remember?
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm. .
Kavina: It was all brown and we got some ice cream, and I got like, Kairo got like a Sonic one. He’s probably like four or three.
Kiona-Host: Then he was still three.
Kavina: Okay. And then, um, it was for my eighth birthday. Do you remember?
Kiona-Host: I do. And you got a SpongeBob?
Kavina: Mm-hmm.
Kiona-Host: one.
Kavina: Yeah, I remember it melted though. And I was sad.
Kiona-Host: Yeah,
Kavina: it fell,
Kiona-Host: but you ate the gumball eyes already. Um, and then do you remember how mommy had to take a lot more naps?
Kavina: Yeah. Yeah, we were really tired.
Kiona-Host: How do you think mommy felt near the end of my pregnancy?
Kavina: Probably like relieved and, oh, I remember that time when we were in the Walmart parking lot. And then my mom was like, please tell this baby to come out. Right? And then my dad was like, not in the Walmart parking lot. And then my mom was like, but just tell the baby to come out
Kiona-Host: Yeah. That was a funny moment. I forgot about that. Let’s go ahead and dive into the birth.
Kavina: Okay. I remember the birth it was so good. I was waiting because I think this was her due date, right?
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm.
Kavina: and, um, I remember like Mercedes,
Kiona-Host: well it was, it started the day before her due date, but she was born on her due date.
Kavina: It started
Kiona-Host: mm-hmm.
Kavina: And I was like, please wake me up, right? Mm-hmm. , because um, and like I went to sleep cuz I had a really good feeling that we would probably have to wake up and I was like, mom, I don’t wanna go to. I feel like something’s gonna happen. And then you were like, don’t worry, I’ll wake you up. And I was like, okay. And I went to sleep. And then I remember you being waked up and I was like, yes, I’m so excited. And you were like in the bathroom when you were braiding your hair.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm.
Kavina: because last birth you didn’t have hair, so you didn’t have to braid it. But we don’t want the hair to get in like the water stuff. But we were like getting ready. You went in the car and then Mercedes went first. Her doula. My mom’s doula?
Kiona-Host: Midwife.
Kavina: Midwife.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm.
Kavina: she went first and then we were all going, we were in the car and I was really excited. Um, but the birth took so long. Um, so we were going, and then my mom’s midwife took her in first and we were still like getting our stuff from the car. I don’t think we got stuff, but like we were still getting out of the car and like we went and she showed us our room and my mom kind of like sat on the bed a little bit and I was just sitting down and I noticed a lot of my family members were there and it was really fun, but it took like a lot to happen, like for it to really happen. But, but I remember like, she was like doing ultrasounds, I think.
Kiona-Host: She was using the doppler,
Kavina: She was using a Doppler.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm. Take your baby’s heart rate.
Kavina: Yeah. And then what were those things? It was like little white tube. little white tubes. Remember? In the photo or something? I think she like gave you a shot and then like.
Kiona-Host: Oh, an iv.
Kavina: Yeah.
Kiona-Host: An iv. She gave me an iv.
Kavina: What is that for?
Kiona-Host: It was to make sure that I was hydrated during, like throughout labor, and if I needed any medication like Pitocin, um, postpartum, like extra, then they could put it in through the IV bag after baby’s.
Kavina: Yeah, and I remember like you just kept walking around and stuff like that, and like you were, you had a sweater, but then you took off your sweater, uh, and then you were just like walking around trying to get labor started and it didn’t start for a long time. So I remember playing like Toca Boca life on my mom’s phone with my auntie, and we were just waiting for something to happen. Um, was Kairo asleep? No, I don’t think he was asleep, but we were trying to play, but we, the worst part was we had to wear a mask and I was so mad and I was like, Ugh.
Kiona-Host: Why did you have to wear your mask?
Kavina: Because there was covid time. Yeah. And I was like, mm,
Kiona-Host: mm-hmm.
Kavina: And I was just like doing, Kairo was just like, I think he was like, just like waking up because he was like, uh, so tired from the car trip.
Kiona-Host: Well, he, yeah, he eventually did fall asleep though.
Kavina: Yeah, it was funny.
Kiona-Host: And you took a little bit of a nap too.
Kavina: Yeah, I remember like we were, you were walking around and then you turned it, you went into your bathing suit, and then you went into the bathtub to see if that would help labor get started. And it didn’t like really help. So you started kind of like standing up and stuff. And then that’s when it was like a ton of hours passed and I was getting tired. And so daddy was like, let’s go take a nap in the other room. And I was like, okay. But I really did not wanna take a nap. So I just, um, my dad let me play like games on his phone and then I fell. And then I remember somebody, was it Delilah?
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm.
Kavina: I think Delilah walked into the room and she woke us up and she was like, labor’s gonna happen, or something like that. And I remember walking back into there. And then you had like this huge blanket on and you were just walking in the halls.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm.
Kavina: Remember?
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm. .
Kavina: You looked pretty scary though. It was like a white thing.
Kiona-Host: I just had a robe on.
Kavina: Oh, I thought for some reason I thought it was like a huge white blanket and then I just sat down and stuff like that. I don’t remember, but I remember like, you kind of like went into the pool and then
Kiona-Host: mm-hmm.
Kavina: like. I think that’s when labor started
Kiona-Host: When I, I think you’re missing the moment when you guys were sleeping and you guys didn’t come back until someone went and got you guys because, um, they broke my water for me.
Kavina: Mm-hmm.
Kiona-Host: And I had asked for you guys to come back.
Kavina: Yeah.
Kiona-Host: Because it was a moment where I was like, I need my husband. And so they went and got daddy. And you came along too, because you were going to do what?
Kavina: I was gonna go in the bathtub with you.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm. to do what?
Kavina: I’m gonna catch the baby.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm. . Let’s talk about that.
Kavina: Okay. So it was really exciting. I remember. Oh, there was so much stuff that happened after. I don’t think I told you though. Yeah. Okay. So I like went into the bathroom, I changed and like I got my bathing suit on. It was like a mermaid on duty, like one, and then I went to the bathtub and then I was. Mercedes was like, just tell me when you want to come out because like, this could be uncomfortable. And that was, I wasn’t traumatized, but it’s a thing that I will remember because I was sitting in there and then like, um, Mercedes was like, I think somebody was holding your hand. I think our photographer was holding your hand.
Kiona-Host: At one point she was, yes.
Kavina: Yeah. Um, and then like, um, I was just sitting down and then, Brown stuff came. It was like blood, I think. Was it blood?
Kiona-Host: I don’t know. It could be.
Kavina: But it was like
Kiona-Host: it wasn’t poop.
Kavina: I know. I was like, mom, you pooped.
Kiona-Host: It could have been poop, but nobody said I pooped. But poop happens all the time in labor, so.
Kavina: Okay, but I was. Kind of scared because it was coming towards me, and I kinda like scooted it over and then the water started getting like a little bit colder and when I did want to come out, I noticed that Miss Mercedes was, in duty. So she wasn’t in duty, but like when I did wanna like kind of come out, um, I noticed that she was, I didn’t want her to like have to put in all her her work to me when you were giving labor.
So what I was just doing and I was waiting and I was just like, just sitting down and I just saw stuff coming and it was just like all this weird stuff. And then it was like stuff like that. But. I remember I saw the head and I was like, oh my gosh. And I was so excited, but I was kind of scared at the same time because I was like, what if I don’t do it right?
Something like that. And Mercedes was the first one to touch the head, but it was with gloves on. And so she was just like, she was like, do you wanna feel your baby? And I was like, okay. And I just felt her head and her hair was so gooey and I was like, Hmm. . And. Um, I don’t really remember that much, but I remember I had to like put my hands out or something and then like, she just, like, as they say, she tooth pasted out, she tooth pasted out and like, I caught her and I was like, huh. And then Ms. Mercedes like took her, I think
Kiona-Host: both of you, I think helped her come to my belly, right?
Kavina: Yeah. And then I was like, Hey, and then like miss, like Mercedes was kind of done so then, I think. I was like, can I come out please, please. And then, um, I got out and I remember I was like, soaking wet. So Tia Ana went to the bathroom to come help me change, and then everybody was like crying.
And then I was like, I, I can’t believe. And I was just crying. And then Tia Ana like sat on the toilet and just like hugged me for like 10 seconds. And I was just like, okay, let’s get back. I’m gonna see, I’m gonna see the baby. And then I remember like you were out, I think you went to go change or something, or,
Kiona-Host: um, I know that I was naked for a while because we got on the bed and then I birthed a placenta. Do you remember that? Or were you still in the bathroom?
Kavina: Um, I remember that it was, it was kind of weird. I remember my auntie almost fainted.
Kiona-Host: Mm mm-hmm.
Kavina: Papa had to leave the room .
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm. Papa is my dad. Yeah.
Kavina: Mm-hmm. , he had to leave the room. He did not wanna see that.
Kiona-Host: Yeah.
Kavina: And I remember like after Katana was sleeping, or not sleeping, but like my mom was rested, laying on the bed, and then they were like, you know, washing Katana off and stuff. I think.
Kiona-Host: uh, no, they didn’t wash her off, but they were, um, after we got settled in on the bed, the placenta was born. I didn’t have any tears, so they didn’t have to suture me, but I was there and we were kind of just like hanging out. I nursed her for the first time.
Kavina: One more thing.
Kiona-Host: Yeah.
Kavina: We soaked a hat in blood.
Kiona-Host: Yeah. With her head.
Kavina: We soaked a hat with her head because her head was really bloody. And so we just put a hat on her head and then, we let our dogs smell it so then our dogs could like smell her and know that she isn’t a predator in this house. She is more likely to be a prey. I’m just kidding… But she is just like, not a guest, but she’s a new member of the family.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm.
Kavina: And we went to like, welcome her.
Kiona-Host: Yeah. Part of the pack.
Kavina: Mm-hmm.
Kiona-Host: Uh, yeah, that’s true. We let the dog smell the first hat that she ever wore, and it just happened to be really bloody. It wasn’t like soaked and dripping in blood, but it did have like blood and birthy residue on it, so, yeah.
Kavina: Yeah,
Kiona-Host: And then after we were like, settled in and I nursed her for the first time. Um, everybody kind of like left and then we did the newborn exam, and that’s actually the photo on our website. It’s the newborn exam of you holding or touching Katana. Not holding her, but like holding her hand or touching her during the newborn exam with Mercedes.
Kavina: Oh yeah.
Kiona-Host: And… And then I have this really awesome photo of you holding her for the first time.
Kavina: That one.
Kiona-Host: Yeah. And then there’s one photo that I took while we were at home where you’re holding her.
Kavina: Mm-hmm.
Kiona-Host: And you just look so big and it’s like, it made me sad because I was like, my first baby is big. I was like, I was really emotional about it.
Kavina: And I remember I had to watch Katana a little bit because you needed to like wash off, I think. And then daddy had to like help you because your legs were quivering. Quivering? No.
Kiona-Host: Quivering.
Kavina: Yeah. I think,
Kiona-Host: um, I don’t know. I don’t remember that part. Maybe going to the bathroom or something.
Kavina: You needed help. And I watched Katana and I felt so proud watching her and I was just like, oh, a little baby. And she was so cute. I can’t, her eyes were bigger than her head though, so. Like seriously. Her eyes were so big and bright and she looked so bold and proud.
Kiona-Host: Yeah, she did. She came and claimed her space really quickly. Yeah. So how was developing the relationship with Katana, after having experienced it with Kairo and doing that?
Kavina: Yeah. That was a different like thing. It was different than I did with Kairo because like Kairo was like, we had to be, you were like a little bit more protected of Kairo because he was like the second one. I’m not saying like you weren’t protective of Katana, but like
Kiona-Host: Mm, I see what you’re saying.
Kavina: Yeah. Like Kairo was like, we gotta be careful and stuff like that. But I don’t really remember that much, but I remember like from all the videos, I’m just like, oh yeah, I remember that.
Kiona-Host: So how was coming home and being a family of five for you?
Kavina: It was really fun. I remember we got pizza and like watched AGT or something. America’s Got Talent and it was really fun and I was like holding her and stuff and it was really fun. I remember she was in like her little hat and her cheeks were so puffy and like, it was like she was really swollen and I was like, when can I kiss her? Because I remember I couldn’t kiss her because her face was swollen and stuff.
Kiona-Host: Yeah. And I remember we kind of told you guys to not kiss her for a while because she was so fresh and you know, it was sick season and we just wanted to make sure that she was like in our house for a while. I think it was like a day or two before you guys were able to kiss her. But I don’t know what my mindset.
Oh yeah. All the kisses, all the kisses. Let’s bounce back. I want you to think of Kairo’s birth again and tell me the first thing that comes to mind as the most memorable moment from his birth for you.
Kavina: Probably when you were cutting his cord. I think daddy cut his cord when you were cutting Kairo’s cord. I cut his cord.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm. .
Kavina: It’s like who cut the cord? I remember cutting it and I was scared because like he started crying and then there was like little blood drips.
Kiona-Host: Yeah, I remember you asking if it hurt him. Um, , just to reassure you again, it did not hurt him. Okay. Now let’s think of Katana’s birth and what was the most memorable moment from her birth for you?
Kavina: Right when you say that, I think of like the placenta. I can remember that, but I, I remember the part where like I was in the tub a little bit more. Like when I think of it right now, I, I can think about it, but it was just like a lot of stuff coming out .
Kiona-Host: So you think about like all of the birthy stuff that was coming out of my body
Kavina: Yes.
Kiona-Host: Before your sister was born. So here’s a question.
Kavina: Mm-hmm.
Kiona-Host: I know that we have talked and debriefed a lot about Katana’s birth because at one point you did say that it was potentially a little bit traumatizing for you cuz you didn’t quite understand what you signed up for. Um. , now that we’ve had time to talk about it and discuss it a little bit more, and your answer can be yes or no. Do you think that you would ever do it again if you had the chance?
Kavina: Yes.
Kiona-Host: Yeah
Kavina: yeah
Kiona-Host: Yeah. You said that with such pride
Kavina: And I was like, like anytime.
Kiona-Host: Yeah. That’s cool.
Kavina: Yeah.
Kiona-Host: That’s awesome. So would you just do it for anybody in the streets or ..
Kavina: No…
Kiona-Host: No.
Kavina: Mm-mm. I would do it for Tia Ana’s baby. .
Kiona-Host: Okay. One day she, yeah, let’s not fast forward her life too much
Okay, awesome. Was there anything that we did to help you prepare that you would like to share with the world? Who has like kids that may wanna be in the birth space,
Kavina: let them know that it may be like different and it may be really memorable. , but just let them have a chance to like remember it because like they will always remember like their siblings, but like they, if they will remember their birth maybe, I don’t know.
But like, you gotta let them have like memories of like, not just like, yeah, I saw my little sister, but like maybe like I was holding my mom’s hand. Or like something that like mm-hmm , this one little dot. like, like I was taking the photos or like I was holding her hand. I gave her the towel for her forehead.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm.
Kavina: something like that.
Kiona-Host: Mm-hmm. . Yeah. So you’re saying to the world to. don’t automatically just like exclude your child from the birth experience.
Kavina: Mm-hmm.
Kiona-Host: like maybe ask them if they wanna be a part of it and give them, oh, a job. Like taking photos or filling the water.
Kavina: Like let them be a part of it too. Not like of the audience, but like maybe like helping.
Kiona-Host: A part of the team.
Kavina: Yeah.
Kiona-Host: Yeah. So it felt good for you to be a part of the team both times. Mm-hmm. , even though both of them were scary in their own ways. .
Kavina: yes
Kiona-Host: Do you think you learned a lot from the experiences?
Kavina: Yeah.
Kiona-Host: Yeah. That’s good. Awesome. Well, thank you for sharing your perspective with me, baby.
Kavina: Mm-hmm.
Kiona-Host: Yay. I’m excited. I think that the world will love hearing your perspective because the first birth you were four and you still remember some details. And the second birth, you were eight. And it was more recent and you remember some details of that. Yay. Thank you for being on the podcast, Kavina. I love you so much and I have learned a lot from you just listening to this and like listening to you tell your perspective because I wasn’t aware of all of these things that you remembered. You know, I wasn’t sure how long this episode was gonna be, and I, it’s longer than I thought it was gonna be. So I think that it’s really awesome that you’ve remembered so many details and that you. Learned from it, so. All right. Love you. Let’s say bye.
Kavina: Love you. Bye, guys.
Kiona-Host: Thanks for listening.
Kavina: Mm-hmm. see you soon!
Kiona-Host: I just wanted to hop back on here. And say how fun that was for me to record this episode with Kavina. It was so interesting to hear the different perspectives that she had on the birth of her siblings and the fact that obviously both of us were present at these births, but have two completely different views, and there were some details that were connected and some that were just completely her own, and I loved that.
It was so much fun. I loved hearing the details that she did remember and how it impacted. And on her life and how it impacted her view on birth. That was so exciting for me. So much fun. I truly, truly loved it, and I, it, it, it was just such an honor for me to be able to hear her perspective, and that is one of the primary reasons of why I created this.
Podcast was to get the perspective from others that are present at the same births and to see how different the little details that are remembered can change how a birth is perceived. And if you haven’t already, you can still go ahead and go back to episodes two and three to listen to the birth experiences of Kaivna’s siblings.
I am excited to say that next week we connect with Blaine Bennet. Blaine Bennet is the owner of PNW Apothecary, a student midwife, and a birth doula. She dives in on her four very different birth experiences. And if you’re interested in learning or hearing more about the difference between hospital births and home births or unassisted births, tune in next week.
Thank you so much for tuning into this episode today. Don’t hesitate to share this with your family and friends. If you liked this episode, feel free to leave a review so my podcast can pop up for others and they can see and listen to it as well.
If you have a birth story or experience you would wanna share on the birth as we know it podcast, head over to kionanessbaum.com and fill out the guest request form. That is kionanessenbaum.com. I look forward to connecting with you again soon. Bye for now.
Do you have a birth story or experience you would like to share on the podcast?
Fill out the Guest Request Form below to put in your inquiry! I would love to hear from you!
