3-Kiona Nessenbaum-Vaginal Birth-Katana

March 15, 2023Posted inBirth Center Birth, Vaginal Birth
3-Kiona Nessenbaum-Vaginal Birth-Katana

Please note: some of the images below may contain partial nudity

Description:

In this episode, I talk about how my third pregnancy and birth truly took me by surprise. I dive into my birth experience at a private birth center with an amazing birth support team and how it differed from my previous birth experiences. The universe really showed me how unique each pregnancy and birth can truly be.

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only with no intention of giving or replacing any medical advice. I, Kiona Nessenbaum, am not a licensed medical professional. All advice that is given on the podcast is from the personal experience of the storytellers. All medical or health-related questions should be directed to your licensed provider.

The resources I mention in this episode are listed below:

Other resources I utilized during this pregnancy and forgot to mention are listed below:

  • Powerful Placenta: https://www.powerfulplacenta.com/
    • The resource I used for placenta encapsulation this pregnancy
  • Another resource I used a lot during this pregnancy was the Facebook “Buy Nothing” groups that were local to me. Search up “Buy Nothing *insert neighborhood community here*” on Facebook and you should find a local group you can join. 

Definitions:

The links in the section below are affiliate links. This means I get a small compensation from the companies that are linked as a “thank you”. There is no additional cost to you, however. I appreciate your support! 

Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode! If you liked this podcast episode, don’t hesitate to share it and leave a review. It really helps bring the podcast up for others to find and listen to as well. 

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Photo Credit: Maternity & Birth Photography- Gabi Iazzetti:https://iazzettiphotos.com/ 

Transcription of Episode 3:

Hello and welcome to Birth As We Know It. I am your podcast host, Kiona Nessenbaum. I have experienced birth as a doula, a student midwife, and as a mother of three amazing children with my husband in high school sweetheart by my side. After attending over 100 hundred and 30 births, including my own, I’ve realized that each birth experience is truly unique. So make sure you subscribe and join me every week as we are guided through many different birth experiences through the lens of the storyteller. Please be aware that some of the stories can be triggering to hear, so feel free to pause, take a breath, and come back and listen whenever you’re ready. With that said, let’s prep ourselves to dive deep and get detailed about what really happens in the birth space.

Hello everyone, and welcome back. I am excited to share my birth story with my third child, katana. She is such a little bundle of joy. And her birth story is the most recent. So I am actually recording this for the third time now because previously I’ve recorded too many details, and it just got super, super long. So I’m trying to get to the point, and I feel like the reason why it’s hard to get to the point is because she’s just under a year and a half old, and this birth was really intense for me, and the pregnancy was more intense for me, so it was just different. So let’s go ahead and dive into the details of this pregnancy and birth experience, and we’ll go from there. 

So I want to start off by saying this was a really challenging pregnancy. And I feel like this pregnancy was challenging for more things than just being pregnant, but having two older children also being pregnant during the height of the COVID pandemic and the Black Lives Matter movement. And there was just so much stress that led to this pregnancy becoming stressful. And it all started with even just trying to become pregnant. All of this stress made it hard for us to actually conceive. So when we decided to conceive, I took out my birth control, which was Nexplanon at the time. It was the arm implant. And with my son, when we were conceiving my son, it happened super quick, like just one cycle. And then we got pregnant. But with my daughter Katana, it actually took us a whole year. And I blame that on stress and just adjusting to life during the pandemic and just dealing with that. And so since it took us so long to conceive, I felt like there was something wrong with me and my husband. I was like, Maybe it’s one of us. Like, why is it taking so long? And I knew that it could take long, but our two previous conception stories were actually pretty quick, so I was starting to get concerned. 

But I wanted to start with the natural route of trying to figure out what was going on. And so I just looked up some resources, and I started reading a lot about vaginal steaming. So I actually did that. And so I did some vaginal steaming with a professional, and this professional got some specific herbs for fertility and cleansing of the uterus. And I would steam three times a month, but it would just be in the beginning. So it would be like right after my period, I would steam three days in a row for ten minutes. And I was skeptical at first, and I was just like, I don’t understand what’s going on. Like, why is this happening? But I kept doing it, and I only actually had to do it for three months because my body was reacting really well to the vaginal herbs. 

So what you would do is you just get all of these herbs, you boil them in hot water, just like as if you’re making a big pot of tea, and then you cover it and you take it to wherever you’re going to steam. And I would sit on a wooden birth stool and cover my legs in blankets so that the steam couldn’t escape around me. And I would put this hot pot full of fertility herbs under me, and I would let the steam just engulf my vulva. I wasn’t too close. I wasn’t too far. And the idea is, for me, it made sense for me to be like, oh, it’s like steaming your face when you’re sick and you need to clear out your nasal passage. That’s what I thought and that is what made sense for me with needing to cleanse my womb to start fresh and let my body know, hey, it’s a safe place to house a baby. And so I did that and. 

Then we finally ended up getting pregnant. So it took us three months with vaginal steaming. So I had already been struggling to get pregnant for about nine months. And then I did vaginal steaming for three months. And then the first period after the third time we got pregnant and I was super excited. I was so, so excited. I was ready. And I was so stressed with even just telling my family. I was trying to figure out how to tell Kumar. I wanted it to be a big surprise and so much that, like, you know, I was taking tests so much throughout this year of trying to conceive. So I got like that little Amazon bundle where you get like 25 or 50 pregnancy test strips and you just dunk it in urine every so often. You’re supposed to do it like three days or the day before you’re or the day after year miss period. But I was doing it all the time because my cycles were really wonky. Some of them were like twelve days, 14 days. And I wasn’t sure when I was ovulating or anything like that. So it was just super, super inconvenient. 

So I was taking these tests, and then I had a faint line on the test, and I was like, oh my God. yay. And then that day, like, it was in the morning. And so I had ordered digital pregnancy test so that it could say the word pregnant or the word yes or no. And I ordered some clear blue off Amazon and it was supposed to come that day, and it was supposed to come by, like five or 06:00 p.m.. So it came at four, which was super happy about because it was like, right around the time my husband was going to come home for work. And then I was peeing all day on these sticks just to confirm that I had a faint line. And so I had no more pee left. And so I peed the tiniest amount into a cup, and I dunked it for 5 seconds because I knew I wouldn’t have a stream that would last 5 seconds. So I dunked it for 5 seconds, and then it said error, and I had another one, and so I did it again, and then it said error, and I was like, what am I doing wrong? And I had been taking pregnancy tests all day long, so I decided to actually read the instructions, and if you’re dunking it, you have to actually dunk it for 20 seconds. And so I just ruined $15 worth of pregnancy test. And so I was stressed out. I ran out to the store and so stressed out, and my husband was like, what is wrong? And I was like, nothing. I got to go to the store. And he was like, what are you doing? Where are you going? And I just left. And I went to the store, and I had to go to, like, three different stores to actually get digital pregnancy tests, which was so annoying, but I ended up finding one. 

Finally dipped it. Read the instructions before I dipped it when I came home, because when I came home, I just jetted upstairs to my bedroom bathroom, and I was like, I need to just do this, because I’m tired of holding the secret. My family’s already been home for a few hours, and I just wanted to just get it done. So I did it properly and it said yes. And then I brought my husband upstairs and told him it was really exciting. He went and got the kids and the first thing Kavina said, she was like she could feel that something was off and she was like, mom, are you pregnant? And I was like, just go get your brother. And she was like, oh, you’re pregnant! You know. And so I was excited that she connected the dog lots and so that was really, really exciting. 

So after I got pregnant, I actually ended up texting my midwife, a friend who I knew I wanted to take care of me during my pregnancy. And we were business partners as doulas prior. And so I texted her and said, hey, I just sent you an email. And she’s like, okay, I’ll check it out. And she looked and I actually sent her an email through her business website inquiry form saying, Catch my baby. And then she called me. Her name is Mercedes Snyder. She called me and she was like screaming. She was like, oh, my God, Kiki, I’m so excited. And that just made me even more excited because I knew that we were on the same page and just excited about what was to come for my family and for me to be supported by someone who has so much love for me already. And so I was really excited about that. And she was like, you got me screaming in here at the store with my family. Everybody’s looking at me all crazy. And I just love that. I love that. That’s the kind of response that I want from someone who is going to care for me throughout my pregnancy. I was so, so, so excited. 

And so I really enjoyed my care. I had Mercedes Snyder and then I also hired the same doula that I had with my son Kairo. Her name is Kristen Travis. I will put the links for their businesses down in the description or the show notes and they are amazing. They’re so great. I love them. And I was really happy because I was able to have my birth team be a birth team of color again. And I just felt so loved and cared for and I felt really amazing about it. I can’t talk enough about how well my care went, so that was really fun. 

And so let’s move forward to my pregnancy. The symptoms that I had with Katana were very much fatigue and nausea and I had a lot of pubic symphysis pain throughout my pregnancy. I feel again that it just had to do with more stress and lack of sleep from having two older kids and still needing and wanting to spend time with them and be present with them before we had another human in our family. And so that was really great. I did take on some doula clients when I was pregnant and I participated as a birth assistant in some births throughout this pregnancy as well. But this pregnancy itself was one of the most challenging also because for my career, as in my work. I couldn’t be in the birth space as much as I wanted. So I decided to apply to positions and apply my skills to positions in the admin form that was still in the birth world. So I ended up working for an organization that I will not name because I actually ended up resigning from them because there were lots of microaggressions involved and racism. So I resigned from there and I was about eight weeks pregnant when I resigned. And so with still being pregnant, actually I wasn’t eight weeks pregnant, I was probably about twelve to 15 weeks. 

I don’t remember exactly but, I was like well into my pregnancy and so I had to find another job while pregnant and so I ended up accepting a position, applying and accepting a position that was offered to me as an admin at a lactation office, which was great. Her name is Dr. MaryAnne O’Hara and she is amazing. She focuses on tongue tie revisions and lactation support. I will also put her information in the description below. She’s amazing. I really loved her. The only reason why I also ended up switching from her office, I only worked with her for about one month. I moved working from her office because it was just too far away. And I live further south in the Auburn area and her office is up north, like in the Lake City area, like Mountlake Terrace area, kind of Shoreline. And so I would be driving a long time and I just didn’t like that and it was really challenging for me. So I ended up leaving her office and moving and working back at the Puget Sound Birth Center as a front desk receptionist and that was a lot of fun. I loved working with and seeing repeat clients. I wasn’t a doula at the time, but I would see clients that I was a doula for and then I would see familiar faces from me being a student midwife or working as a birth assistant or even just working as an admin previously because I worked as an admin about four years prior. And so it was fun to see people that I recognized and then I ended up going on leave, my maternity leave after I had katana. 

So my pregnancy, this was the most challenging pregnancy for me and I don’t know how else to say it, it was just the most challenging. My body was a little bit older, dealing with more and all of the stress and then working and driving and everything just seemed to just pile up, which was hard for me and it was also hard on my family because I really needed it to take naps more. And the concern of COVID vaccines and everything like that. So that was just a lot of information and stress. So this pregnancy was so challenging. I don’t know. I feel like I couldn’t really embrace the pregnancy as much as I did with the prior pregnancies because of everything that was surrounding us in the environment or outside in the world. 

So moving on to when I was really nervous about actually giving birth, because one of the symptoms that I also really experienced during this pregnancy was something called lightning crotch. I don’t know if anybody has heard of it. If you haven’t, it’s basically where your baby is putting so much weight down on your vulva and cervical nerves. And when you move a certain way or do something, stand up too fast, it feels like shots of electricity or lightning are just, like, going through your vagina. And that was how I experienced it, and it was not fun. I was so done with being pregnant at, like, 37 weeks. It was happening so often for me that I actually had one of the midwives that I worked with. Her name is Tracy Cooper, who is also amazing. I love her so much. I asked if she could check me. They were like, yeah! You’re closed. You’re kind of soft, and your cervix is closed. It is soft. It’s starting to prepare, but you’re nowhere close to labor, and that’s okay. They didn’t say it like that, but that was, like, the gist of it. And I was like, okay, that’s fine. And I was like, I am Term. I want to get this baby out. 

So from about 37 weeks to the time that I had her, which happened to be on her due date, I was just devastated. I was so uncomfortable. I couldn’t sleep. She moved so much. Katana moved so much. I felt like I had no space at all. And the ironic thing is, my belly was the smallest with her out of the three. And so she moved so much, she would stretch her full body out. And I feel maybe it was so uncomfortable because she was more tucked into my torso rather than, like, belly coming out of my torso. That could be why it hurts so much. But it was very challenging to sleep and I couldn’t get comfortable. So I was always exhausted and tired and everything was just adding up. And so I said I commonly say that I probably cried myself to sleep every night for the last three weeks of pregnancy. I wasn’t like bawling every time, but I would have like silent tears rolling down my face because I just wanted to be done. And I wanted to meet her as well, you know, because I knew that she was going to be so rumbunctious and like just claim her space and just fit right in. 

And so I ended up asking Mercedes if she could come over. I think it was three days before my due date, two or three days before my due date, and I asked her if she could sweep my membranes because nothing was happening. Sweeping my membranes or doing a cervical sweep is when the midwife puts their fingers into your cervix and kind of just stretches your cervix out and tries to separate the amniotic bag or sack from your cervical uterine wall. Always with the risk of potentially doing an artificial rupture of membranes on accident. But usually, it’s focused on the cervical muscles. To stretch and soften and encourage contractions to come, to induce or augment labor in a more natural way without medications. And so she came and did that, and it was painful. I had never done it before. It was painful for me, but I’m so happy that I had someone that I trusted because she was talking to me. She told me, just tell me when to stop. And we just had this relationship or have this relationship where we can communicate clearly with each other. And I was, like, hanging on her arm, and I wasn’t squeezing super hard, but I was breathing, and she was communicating with me the whole time, so I felt safe. And she did it. And there was a lot of bloody show when she brought her hand out and my daughter Kavina was actually there. I asked her, and I was like, do you want to be here for the cervical sweep, or do you want to go in your room? Because my midwife came to my house to do it. And so we were just on my bed, and Kavina was like, no, I want to stay. My son Kairo was like, no, I’ll go. It’s fine. So Kairo went and played, and Kavina stayed. And she was, like, kind of shocked and a little shook with how far the midwife’s hand had to go inside me to do this. 

But she was like, mommy, you looked like you were in a lot of pain. And I was like, I was but I’m okay. I’m safe. And I checked in with her as I was breathing through this as well, through the cervical stretch. And when I was done, she was shocked to see the amount of blood too. And she was like, mommy, are you okay? And I was like, I’m fine, baby. This is good. That’s a good sign. It means my cervix is, like, ripening and it’s changing with the sweep, so that’s really good. And she was like, okay. 

And so contractions did start to come, and everything was good, and they weren’t taking my attention completely away, but I was definitely extra crampy, and I was spotting more. So that day, my midwife went and did her own thing. She either went home or went to go see clients. And then I was like, yeah, things are happening. So I went to go to take a shower. I put my kids to bed. My husband went to bed, and I laid down and was coping through the contractions that I was having. And then I fell asleep and woke up in the morning. And I was just so sad that nothing actually happened. I did not go into labor that night. And I was pretty devastated because I was so ready to be done. So I texted my midwife as soon as I woke up, and I was like, Mercedes, when can you come back? I’m ready to do this again. I think it was back-to-back days. So she came three days before my due date, and then she came two days before my due date, and I said, Mercedes. I know that she is so good at cervical sweeps, and I know that she has super strong hands. I looked her in her eyes, and I was like, do your due diligence. Mess it up. F it up in there. Like, I’m ready. I’m so over this. 

And she just laughed at me, her little giggle. And she’s like, okay, Kiki, I got you. And so I prepped myself, and we walked through it slowly, and she was like, Are you ready? And I was like, yeah. And then so we did it. I was breathing. I squeezed her arm a little bit firmer this time, but it was good. And after she did that, that was around I think she did the sweep around, like eight or nine p.m. She came over, and she brought her dinner with her so that she could hang out for a little bit to see. And so I put my kids to bed, and my husband was in bed, and we did the sweep. And then I was talking, and then they were really starting to take my attention. And I was like, I think I might start timing these. And she was like, okay. And she was like, make sure you don’t time them too soon. Only time them when they’re taking your attention because you don’t want to get too excited. You just want your body to do its thing. And I was like, yep. No worries. They are kind of taking my attention, and I’m having to stop and breathe through some of them. 

And so I continue to time them and bounce on a ball while chatting with her and leaning forward over our chairs in the kitchen. That was good. And then she ate her dinner. We chatted a little bit, and it was late at this time. It was probably about, like 1030 11:00 p.m. And I was like, I can set up the couch for you if you want. She’s like, no, I’ll just go out to my car and I’ll go ahead and take a small nap in my car, do a few things, and then I’ll come back in about an hour to check on you. And I was like, okay, that works. She went out into her car and I went upstairs. I did not want to lay down. I wanted things to progress. So I ended up sitting backward on my toilet. And I also did that the day before, but nothing happened, obviously. But this time I sat on my toilet, peed a little and let my body release all of whatever it wanted. And I was really timing them and they were getting more intense to the point to where I actually felt like I needed to make noise through them to focus through the surge and contraction. And so I ended up messaging Mercedes because last time I was in denial that I was in labor with my son. And so this time I wanted to make sure that since we were going to a birth center, I didn’t want to rile everybody up in the middle of the night if nothing was going to happen. And so I was really trying my best to say, like, I am having contractions, they are getting more intense. But is this it? Is this labor? Because I don’t want to wake everybody up. I don’t want to send everyone to the birth center. I don’t want to do that. 

Because when she did the cervical sweep, I had dilated 1 CM from the day before. So the surges from the day before were doing something. And so when she first did my cervical sweep, I was actually sitting out of 4 CM for a while, I guess. And then after she was done with the first cervical sweep, I was about four and a half or four stretchy, four and a half. And then the next day she came back and she was like, oh, you’re like a five and a half. That’s really awesome. And I was like, great, this is perfect. Let’s keep going. So as I’m on the toilet backward, bouncing back to my contractions, I’m texting her. And I was like… I was basically telling her how I was feeling. I was like, I am really needing to focus on these contractions. I’m nervous because I don’t want to wake everybody up, but I don’t want to be in denial. And she’s like, do you want to come and chat? And I was like, sure. And so she came up and met me in my bathroom and we chatted for a little bit, and she watched me go through a couple of my surges and contractions, and she was like, yeah, Kiki, I think that this is something. I think something’s going on. So, let’s plan to go and meet at the birth center in about half an hour. It was 1130 at this time, and, you know, we’ll get things going and just go from there. And I was like, okay.

 And so I was happy about that. And so I woke up my husband, I kissed my kids. They stayed at home with my… no, actually, they didn’t stay at home. They came, and we packed them up, got everybody like, I woke up my husband and told him he got the kids ready. As I got myself ready, all of our bags were packed already and in the car, because I was ready to have this baby, I was over being pregnant. And so I knew that throughout my pregnancy, one thing for me, aesthetically, is with the birth of my son, I had really short hair because, during my pregnancy, I had actually shaved my head. And I just wanted to be different. Probably some emotional things involved with that decision, but I shaved my head, and my dad’s bald, so I called him, and I was like, hey, dad, I’m your twin now. And he was like, anyways, that’s the previous pregnancy. But with the birth of my son, I had really short hair. And by the time I was pregnant and ready to birth Katana, my hair was long. So I knew that I aesthetically wanted to have French braids. So I spent time on braiding my hair before we left, and it was taking some time because I was doing it between contractions. And so Mercedes actually ended up calling me and was like, hey, girly, where are you at? You know, it’s been a little while. It’s been about 20 minutes. And I, you know, I’m like, oh, I haven’t left yet, but we’re leaving right now. And she’s like, all right, don’t wait too long. Come on. Because it was my third baby, you know, could have been faster. 

And so we all got in the car.  And my contractions and surges were getting stronger and they were closer together. I wasn’t timing them at this point. I didn’t care anymore because things were going along and we called my parents and they met us. My mom was unable to come to this one because my grandmother was sick. She was in remission from cancer, so she stayed with my grandma in Wenatchee and my dad and stepmom and little sister came and met us at the birth center. So did my little brother. And then we also called my sister Monae again. And this is the first labor that my oldest sister Aushanae was actually able to attend. So I was super excited because she had a niece and a nephew prior, but this time she actually got to attend the birth, which was really exciting. And this was during COVID time. And we ended up birthing at the birth center that I worked at. So the Puget Sound Midwives and Birth Center in Renton. And because it was like at night, they said that they would make an exception since nobody else would be in the building, that I could invite as many people as I wanted. But if it got into the working hours, my family would have to leave or they would have to just stay inside my birth room. And I have a lot of family, so I was like, all right, let’s do this. It’s perfect timing. Like we have until the clinic opens to actually have this baby. And so everybody showed up, things started progressing. I also called one of my close friends, Delilah, who was also pregnant at the time. She was about 36 weeks pregnant when she came and supported me as like a bonus doula/ friend, which was a lot of fun. I was super thankful and appreciative of that. And it just felt awesome to have another pregnant person in the room. I don’t know why that is, but it just felt really great.

So labor was progressing and everything was fine. And then they started getting really intense. I was leaning on my husband and I started crying with some of my contractions because they were so painful. And everybody that was in the room was really quiet and just observing and they were like, being super supportive. Oh, yeah, my Doula did meet us at the birth center. We messaged her as well and told her what was going on. She met us there. I also had a birth photographer this time. Her name is Gabi and she was phenomenal. I really appreciate her personality and her work is really beautiful. I will also put some of my birth photos up on my show notes on my website so that everybody could see. I’ll do the same for Kairo as well, but, yeah. 

So things are getting really intense. So my midwife was prepping the tub, and I was ready. So this time, I wanted to make sure that I had at least a bathing suit top on, because my previous photos, you know, my boobs were everywhere, and I just like even though it was such a beautiful and natural moment, I felt like those weren’t photos that I could really share with everyone. And I wanted to be able to share a lot of my photos with everyone. And so this time, I wore a bathing suit top, and I got in the tub. And I remember before I got in the tub, it was such a sweet moment that I will forever hold close to my heart. My dad was there, and he was hanging out, and I was about to get in the tub, and he was like, all right, baby, let me give you a hug before you get all butt naked and get in this tub. And I was like, okay, dad. And so he hugged me, and it was just a sweet moment, like a sweet hug moment. And I just hugged him really tight, dropped a couple of tears, and then he stepped out to give me some privacy to change. 

And so I got into the tub. Felt really great. And then my labor slowed down. It actually pretty much stopped after being in the tub for, like, 45 minutes to an hour. And I was devastated. I was like, what the heck is going on? I was like, I don’t like this. Why is this happening? I’m so ready to just have her. I want it to continue to progress and just go, I want to meet her. I want to not be pregnant anymore. And I remember looking at Mercedes, and I loved this about my pregnancy, because I am a birth professional, and I was with somebody that I trusted, that I partnered with, that’s like a sister to me. I was able to talk to her about all the things, and I was able to bring up suggestions about what I wanted for my labor and birth. And I asked her, I was like, what do you think about AROM right now? Which is the artificial rupture of membranes. I was like, as a provider, what do you think about this? And she was like, I think that it’s a possibility, but I would want to do a cervical check and see where you’re at and all of that stuff. And she was like, do you want me to go over the risks and benefits? And I was like, yes, please. Even as a professional, like a birth professional that knows the risks and benefits, it’s good to hear it again and get that freshly in your mind as you’re in labor doing what you’re doing. And so she told me the risks and benefits, and we both agreed that I would just get out of the tub and try to get contractions moving again and walking around and doing sideline and all this stuff. And so I did a lot of that and nothing was happening, really. I would have a contraction here and there. That’s when people started going to fall asleep and taking a nap because it was super late, or early, I should say, in the morning. 

And then my close friend Delilah and I were just walking, walking up and down the hallway. And I remember her rubbing my back during one of my contractions, which was so nice. I don’t know, it was really nice to have her by my side at that moment. And we were walking back and forth, our bellies, our pregnancy waddles side by side and chatting. And then after about an hour of trying to get things going. Mercedes popped in and we were thinking like we were in sync because I was going to go find her. And then she just popped in and was like, hey, what do you think about an exam? Vaginal exam, cervical exam? And I was like, yeah, let’s do that. Let’s figure it out. 

And so I laid down on the bed, she’s doing the vaginal exam. And she was like, Kiki, you’re 6, you’re 6. At this point, I had been laboring for like 6 hours already. And I was like, oh, you got to be fucking kidding me. I was so mad. I was so mad.  And I was like, okay, let’s do AROM. Let’s do that. Let’s do an artificial rupture of membranes. And she’s like, yeah, because you’re super stretchy, your cervix just wants to disappear. But baby isn’t putting enough engagement with her head on your cervix, so it’s not really going away. And so I was like, yeah, let’s do this, AROM, I’m ready. Let’s get things moving. I know what the risks and benefits are. Let’s do this. 

My husband and sisters were sleeping in the other room. And then I had some people, I don’t remember exactly who was in the room with me at the time, but I was like, yeah, let’s do this. So we set up the birth stool and decide to do AROM on the birthstool just to encourage the baby to descend a little bit more into the vaginal canal. And she broke my bag of waters and there was a lot of water. And I had my doula sitting behind me and I was like squeezing leaning against her. I was like sitting between her legs, basically. She was sitting on the bed. I was on the birthstool, which was next to the bed, and I was leaning back into her. Mercedes broke my bag of waters, tons of water came out, and I went from a six to a nine and a half, which is basically almost complete, but I just had a cervical lip. And so as soon as I had one first contraction after that, I had that contraction, and I was like, somebody get my husband. I was like, somebody get my husband. Because I knew it was happening. Like, things were turning, and I went from, like, really stalled labor to transition. 

And I got into the birth tub after that, and things were super intense. And contraction after contraction, I just wanted to encourage to descend this baby. And I was, like, pushing with my body, and I was this was the hardest pushing experience for me. It was so insane. Like, I was literally pushing with all my might. And I just remember trying so hard with every contraction to get her the f out. I wanted her out. And my daughter, Kavina, we had spoken during my pregnancy, and she said that she wanted to catch Katana, which was so happy and exciting for me. And so we got her into the birth tub with me in her bathing suit, and I was pushing and I was just, like, having my eyes closed and going through all the surges, and I was holding whatever hand was closest to me and. Then I ended up pushing more and then I had Mercedes check me again, or she had suggested, I can’t remember which one it is, and she just wanted to make sure that the cervix was completely gone. 

And she checked and I was still nine and a half with pushing, and so she was like, alright, I’m going to try to reduce this or help push this cervical lip behind baby’s head as you’re pushing, so I need you to listen to my guidance. And I did. And so I had to push down really hard while she was like, pushing the cervical lip away. And honestly, that part didn’t seem super painful to me. It was rough, but I was so focused on getting her out that I didn’t focus on the pain for that moment. It was hard though. That was probably one of the hardest moments in that labor of that just reducing the cervical lip. And so as I did that, Katana’s head ended up coming out slowly starting to become visible. And then I remember pushing and pushing and pushing so hard because I could feel her coming out and I pushed and I was like, oh yeah, okay, she’s coming. And then I thought that I had like, pushed her body out and then Mercedes was like, her head is out. And I was like, oh my God, she has a fucking big head. Her head is huge. I was so over that. And then, so she was like, all right, Kiki, come on, let’s get the shoulders out, let’s do this. And so Kavina is down there watching all of it happen and she’s the first one to touch Katana without gloved hands, and  I love that so much. 

And she has her own perspective on how that experience was, and we’ll actually hear it on the podcast, but she was like, I was pushing. And I remember really just trying to push her whole body out, but I couldn’t push it all out. And Mercedes was like, come on, push, push, push. And so I think that she might have had to pull her legs out a little bit because I was really trying to just get her out. And so I pushed and then she finally came out. Kavina helped bring her up to my belly. And with Mercedes’ help, I believe that I pushed for only about 45 minutes total. And then baby Katana was born on her due date. 

I was so happy to be done. I was so over being pregnant and I was just ready. And then we, since I had the experience postpartum that I did with my son, we took active management steps and I had shots of pitocin and you know, I had did everything that I needed to do to prevent what happened last time. And so if you want the details on that, go ahead and listen to my previous episode, because it was a doozy. She was born. Everything was fine. I didn’t tear. I didn’t need any sutures. And it was just I was so happy. It’s like, as soon as she was out of my body and as soon as my placenta was born, I remember getting out of the birth tub at this point because I wanted to birth my placenta on the bed. I wanted the midwife to be able to have a better measurement of how much blood was lost. And it was just easier to be out of the tub at that point because the tub was birthy.  And so Kavina got out. I remember checking on her, too, like, Baby, are you okay? Are you sure you want to still catch Katana? And she’s like, yeah, mom. But she looked terrified. She looked really scared when she was in there. When I first got back in there to push, but Mercedes was like, we got her, mama. Don’t worry. We’ll make sure that she’s okay. And I was like, all right. And so I just let loose and focus on pushing. 

But after she was born and the placenta was born, I just felt amazing. I felt good, but I was also like, there’s no way I’m doing this again. Like, I’m not doing this again. I was so over being pregnant, I didn’t want to do it again. Fast forward to now. My daughter is currently 16 months, and we’re doing great. We did breastfeeding, and our breastfeeding experience was good. It was more challenging than the previous two, which, honestly, was not surprising to me since the pregnancy was so challenging. But we ended up needing to actually go see Dr. Marianne O’Hara for a tongue tie revision because she had a really prominent tongue tie. She also has a really prominent lip tie that we did not end up correcting. But when she first got her teeth in, she had a little gap, but it’s starting to close up a little bit now. So it’s, like, self-correcting, but yeah. So the breastfeeding experience was good. I was ready to just like breastfeed. We are actually still breastfeeding at this time, but when my milk finally came in, I ended up in and around my room for two whole weeks. 

And so my husband, I was fortunate enough for my husband to be off work for two months and so I had his support. And then my mother-in-law lives with us and so I had a lot of support from her. I had a lot of family come and visit and bring goodies and food, and I begged my stepmom to recreate that or continue to create and provide that special drink that encourages milk supply to come in. It’s a Guatemalan remedy for milk supply. And I loved it with my previous two babies and I begged her to make it this time and she did, and it was amazing. Just as much. And then my mother-in-law made me a lot of chicken soups and chicken meals, but she would make all of my meals with Nepali ghee, which was really delicious. I loved it. My body was craving ghee and this drink all the time and so it was amazing. I had such great postpartum support with my husband by my side and my older children being able to help and love on their little sibling, and it was great. It was great. My postpartum was amazing. I didn’t experience too much postpartum depression. I think I might have had a little bit of postpartum blues, but not anything close to what I had with Kairo. It was awesome. I was healing well. And now here we are. 

So, yeah, those are my stories, all three of my birth stories. If you’ve listened to my two previous episodes, they’re all so very different and it’s amazing. And I love how different they are because each child is so completely different and they actually pretty much match up to their stories and pregnancies because Katana is the most rambunctious and self-independent, crazy, perfect human definition of what a Sour Patch Kid is. And I love her so much and I’m so excited to see her personality grow and develop. She’s starting to talk and say things now, she’s walking, running around now and it’s only going to get better from here as I watch all three of my beautiful babies just grow into their independent selves. 

But yes, that is it. So in my next episode, you will actually hear the perspective from Kavina herself on what it was like to be present at both Kairo and Katana’s birth. So if you want to listen to that, go ahead and subscribe and tune in next week and we will dive into what birth was like for a four-year-old, her again as an eight-year-old. 

Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode today. Don’t hesitate to share this with your family and friends if you like this episode, feel free to leave a review so that the podcast can pop up for others and that way they can see it and listen to it as well. If you have a story or experience you want to share on The Birth As We Know It podcast, head over to Kionanessenbaum.com and fill out the guest request form that is Kionanessenbaum.com. I look forward to connecting with you again soon. bye for now.

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Last updated on September 18, 2024