Kiona’s mother Janene and daughter Kavina cutting Kairo’s umbilical cord.
Please note some of the images below may contain partial nudity.
Description:
Home birth can be amazing but sometimes there are challenges as well. In this episode, I talk about how I ended up working with my desired birth support team. I also dive deep into my birth experience with Kairo and how my perfect home birth did not end as expected.
Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only with no intention of giving or replacing any medical advice. I, Kiona Nessenbaum, am not a licensed medical professional. All advice that is given on the podcast is from the personal experience of the storytellers. All medical or health-related questions should be directed to your licensed provider.
The resources I mention in this episode are listed below:
- Birth Doula-Kristin Travis: https://www.BEarthmate.com/
- Midwife-Tinneca Fortin: https://www.tinnecafortin.com/
Other resources I utilized during this pregnancy and forgot to mention are listed below:
Home birth can be amazing but sometimes there are challenges as well. In this episode, I talk about how I ended up working with my desired birth support team. I also dive deep into my birth experience with Kairo and how my perfect home birth did not end as expected.
The resources I mention in this episode are listed below:
- Birth Doula-Kristin Travis: https://www.BEarthmate.com/
- Midwife-Tinneca Fortin: https://www.tinnecafortin.com/
Other resources I utilized during this pregnancy and forgot to mention are listed below:
- Sacred Pregnancy: https://www.sacred-pregnancy.com/
- The resource I used for supportive pregnancy classes and placenta encapsulation
- Whole Body Pregnancy: https://www.wholebodypregnancy.com/
- The resource I used for Prenatal Yoga and access to Childbirth Education Classes
Definitions:
- Pubic Symphysis Pain AKA Symphysis Pubic Dysfunction
The links in the section below are affiliate links. This means I get a small compensation from the companies that are linked as a “thank you”. There is no additional cost to you, however. I appreciate your support!
- Reusable Hand Warmers: https://amzn.to/3lPYcgy
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Transcription of Episode 2:
Hello and welcome to Birth As We Know It. I am your podcast host, Kiona Nessenbaum. I have experienced birth as a doula, a student midwife, and as a mother of three amazing children with my husband in high school sweetheart by my side. After attending over 100 hundred and 30 births, including my own, I’ve realized that each birth experience is truly unique. So make sure you subscribe and join me every week as we are guided through many different birth experiences through the lens of the storyteller. Please be aware that some of the stories can be triggering to hear, so feel free to pause, take a breath, and come back and listen whenever you’re ready. With that said, let’s prep ourselves to dive deep and get detailed about what really happens in the birth space.
Alright, everyone, thank you so much for tuning in to the Birth As We Know It podcast. And if you are back again, welcome back. This week, I am actually going to be talking about the birth of my son, Kairo. I had a home birth with him and he is my second child. And if you’re interested in hearing about my first birth experience, go ahead and go listen to my very first episode where I talk about the birth of my daughter Kavina.
Okay, let’s go ahead and dive right into it. So let me give you a little bit of a backstory about my conception with my son. So my daughter Kavina is four years old at this point. She was about three and a half when we started talking about conceiving a second child. And my husband and I were debating, but we knew that we did not want Kavina to be an only child. So Kumar and I decided to start trying. And so I took out my birth control, and it was also right around the time we decided to move. So we had recently bought a home and we decided, hey, now is the time that we can start trying. We have more space, we have room to grow our family. And so we decided to dive in and try. So I took out my birth control in January of 2017. We actually got the keys to our home on Valentine’s Day in 2017, and we found out about our son in March. So we were fortunate enough to only be trying for one cycle.
When we conceived my son, that was interesting because it was quick and we weren’t expecting it to be so quick, but we also didn’t think that it would take very long since we were only having unprotected sex for about three months with my daughter. So we conceived Kairo. And once we found out we were pregnant, we were excited, we were nervous, and I was trying to figure out how to tell him, Kumar, how to tell Kumar that I was pregnant. When I told him, he was like, what? Really? Like, it was a lot. And we just happened to be hanging out with some friends. And I’m not a big drinker at all, but we were hanging out with some of our adult friends. And I believe my daughter Kavina might have been at my dad’s house, so she might have been with her grandpa. But we were there. We were just hanging out. And I was like, I’m just going to take a test just in case because we were going to have some wine and drinks at our house with our friends. And I took a test and I was like, oh, it’s positive. And it was just one of those dollar store tests. And of course, the next day I went just to get a digital test for confirmation, just because I liked to see the words “pregnant” or “not pregnant”. But I did take a dollar store test and the lines came up and I happened to tell one of our friends that was there at the time, and she was the girlfriend of my friend at the time. And I told her because I was like, oh, my God.
And it was just funny because earlier in that evening, our friends were like, so when are you going to have another baby? And Kumar and I were like, we don’t know. We weren’t necessarily telling people that we were trying, but we weren’t trying to also give them hope that we were trying because it can take a while to conceive. And so we ended up. Telling our friends that night because they were like, Ah, come on, get on a drink. And I was like, no, it’s okay. I don’t really feel like it. And then I had a solid reason not to drink. And it’s crazy because I don’t know if I just knew, but I hadn’t like I said before, I’m not a big drinker, but I hadn’t been drinking, like at all for like a month prior, not even like a glass of wine. And so I was like, oh, I don’t know. I just don’t feel like it. And I didn’t. And this night that we found out, I was like, Maybe I will. Maybe I’m being too cautious. But I ended up not drinking, which was a great idea. And then I took this test. We were excited, and so I decided to FaceTime my sisters and tell them. And that was really fun. I was really excited to tell them right away.
So my pregnancy with Kairo was quite different from Kavina’s. It still wasn’t a super complicated pregnancy. My symptoms again, one of my strongest symptoms in the first trimester and going into the second, actually, probably the whole pregnancy was fatigue. Fatigue was the largest symptom. Now with Kairo, I experienced more morning sickness with him. I didn’t experience much with Kavina, like, not anything that was super noticeable. But with Kairo, I was very sensitive to smells. I never threw up. Luckily, I am terrified of throwing up. That is something that is a fear of mine. I haven’t thrown up since I was about six years old. And so I’m going on 23 years right now of not throwing up. I know that’s not going to be true for the rest of my life, but if I can push it off, I will, I guess. Anyways, that’s beside the point. I was terrified of throwing up. And so I would never throw up. I would just get super nauseous. Like super, super nauseous. And it was hard because we live in a house where we eat lots of rice. And so with rice, we would be having curry, like Nepali curry. And whenever my mother-in-law would make rice, I could smell it from our bedroom, and I would just get super nauseous. And right at the top of our stairs, it’s like the hub of all sense of the things that are being cooked in the kitchen just because of the way that the layout of the home is. And so whenever I would come outside of my room, which is at the top of the stairs, the doorway is right at the top of the stairs, I would just at this giant width of whatever was being made. And sometimes I’d be like, MMM, yummy, goat curry. And then sometimes I’d be like, oh, God, rice or coffee. Coffee was another one. In that first trimester in particular, I was just like, this is when Kumar would make coffee before he went to work. And I was just like, not happy with those smells at all. So with Kairo, I experienced a lot of nausea and that kind of never really went away. But it did get better in the second trimester and in the third, it was fine for most of it until the end when I was starting to get closer to my due date. I was really struggling with smells and nausea.
There was only one time in my pregnancy when I was for sure thinking that I was going to throw up. I was working in Kirkland at the time and we had just bought a house and moved to Auburn. I would drive an hour and a half in each direction to work every day, and the drives would be hard for me because fatigue was a big symptom of mine. And so being fatigued and being pregnant during the summer, in particular, was a challenge because the car would get really hot, I would put on AC and I would just be trying to stay awake. I never drove if I felt like I was too tired. I definitely wanted to be safe, but it was a challenge because I really, just wanted to sleep all the time. But I knew that I needed to continue working and having some source of income, and so I did. And one time in particular when I was driving home, I had bought this, like egg omelet or something for breakfast or lunch at work and I didn’t finish it and so I brought it home with me. But it was sitting in the car on my drive home in the car as hot and warm, even with the AC on. And my entire car just smelled like this egg omelet. And the whole ride home, I was debating on if I needed to pull over to potentially get sick. And I was, like, staying on the edge lane so that if I did need to pull over, I could just do it quickly and handle my business. I didn’t end up getting sick, but I was, like, hyperventilating. Not hyperventilating, but really breathing through it and trying to be like, okay, is this going to happen? No. Okay, keep going. No. Okay. I was, like, prepping myself, and I felt like I was on the verge the whole drive home. And so when I got home, it was so bad that I parked my car and I left my car running. I rushed to open the door. I handed Kumar this food and I was like, take this. Get it out, get it away. And I ran upstairs to our bathroom, and I just went up and proceeded to decloth my entire body. I just like I took off my earrings. I took off my everything. I took everything off. I put my hair up in a bun and I was terrified that I was going to throw up. So I was, like, leaning over the toilet and, like, taking deep breaths, and it was so bad, and I just ended up curling up in a ball on the floor all naked, like, I don’t want to throw up. I can’t do this. It was really hard for me. So I drink some water. That went away, and I was just like, Babe, I need to take a nap. And I forgot about the car. And luckily Kumar realized that the door was open, my purse was still in there, the car was still running, and he just, like, handled it all, which was really nice. But I ended up taking a nap and that went away. That was a really scary moment for me.
And after that moment, I had actually spoke to my doula. I was a birth doula myself at this point. I became certified as a birth doula when my daughter was one, Kavina was one, and she was about three and a half at this point. So I had been practicing as a birth doula. And so I decided that with my second birth, I wanted to hire a birth doula of my own. And so I did hire a birth doula. And with my second birth, I had this, AHA, moment of I want people in my birth space that look like me. And so, I was very hone on getting a provider that was of color and it was very challenging to find a black midwife in the greater Seattle area. And so I did end up finding a black midwife and she was amazing. Her name is Tinneca Fortin and she was so great and she came to my home for all of our prenatal visits and it was great. And then I had a doula who was also black and her name is Kristen Travis and she was also amazing and I actually ended up hiring her for my third as well. I hired a birth team of color and I was totally open to student midwives as well. And I had met someone since I was already practicing as a birth doula and birth assistant. I had met a couple of students at the birth center that I was working mostly at as a birth assistant in particular. And I was working at the Puget Sound Birth Center in Renton. And I met another student midwife. Or I wasn’t a student midwife yet, but I met a student midwife, and her name was Mercedes Snyder. And I was like, oh, great. It was awesome because she was a black native midwife and, you know, she was there hanging out, and we got to know each other a little bit, which was great. And then I would say maybe a few weeks down the road, after meeting her, my midwife actually told me, hey, I have a new student midwife. She is a black midwife. Is it okay if she joins for your care? And I was like, yeah, sure. And then she comes to my house for one of the prenatal visits. And I’m used to seeing my midwife’s face, and so I’m like, oh, hey, Tinneca. And then as soon as Tinneca walks through, Mercedes is behind her, and I’m like, I know you. Hey, girl, how’s it going? And so I felt even more comfortable with my birth decision of working with people of color, birth workers of color, and so I felt so cared for. I felt so cared for.
It was amazing. Like, they would come to my home, they would check my fundal height and do all my vitals, and it was just really great. And all of the conversations that I had were very, like, fluid and comfortable and just like, natural conversations. Nothing felt very medicalized. And my husband was able to be there, my kids were able to just be at home, you know, like, Kavina was able to just be at home and, like, hang out, play with her toys, and everything was fine. It wasn’t a big fuss to go to some provider space. And my doula also came with me to a few visits, a few of my visits, actually, which was really nice. And then my entire birth team got to know each other because they were all there, and so it was great. And they were all on the same page during my birth, which was fantastic.
I remember telling my whole team that one of the biggest differences from my first pregnancy to this second pregnancy with Kairo was that my pubic synthesis pain was at an all-time high. It was really hard. I never thought that I would experience so much pain, especially so early on. I think I started experiencing the pubic synthesis pain with him when I was about 20 weeks along, and it was consistent. Like, it was really hard to sit in the car for those one-and-a-half-hour drives both directions. And I would be standing up at work all the time, I would be on a birth ball here at home. And so I feel like the pubic synthesis pain also seemed to I don’t know how correlated it was, but I had more Braxton Hicks, my second pregnancy, and I felt like the pubic synthesis pain was just made it to where the Braxton Hicks were more noticeable because I was constantly adjusting my body to become more comfortable with the pubic synthesis pain, and then I would like to move and then a Braxton Hicks would happen. And so it was just like, okay, that’s fine.
And then another thing that I mentioned to my team was I was terrified of throwing up. So I had a feeling that I was probably going to throw up during my labor because of the close-call experience I had earlier in my pregnancy. And they were all on the same page that if it did happen, to not freak out about it, which they never would have anyway because it’s very normal to vomit in pregnancy and labor and birth. And so they were on the same page. I just wanted them to be aware and they were, and that was great.
And then, yeah, I ended up quitting my job that was an hour and a half away. And I became a nanny and I was able to take my daughter Kavina with me. And so the drive was way shorter. It was like 30 minutes. And then I would just spend time with my daughter while taking care of this other family. And it was great. We went to the park all the time during the summer, and then there was a baby there at the time as well that was about one year old. And I would carry her on my back when we were walking to the park. I’d use the stroller and it was like kind of practice for what was to come. I was nannying three kids and then I had my own with me and then I was pregnant. So I’m pretty sure it looks kind of crazy for those that were observing from the sidelines. A generously pregnant person watching all of these people, but overall it was great. It was a lot of fun. And then I ended up stopping my work at about 36 weeks pregnant, which was good because then I got to rest for about the last month of my pregnancy.
I ended up birthing my son at 40 weeks and two days, which was funny, and let me tell you why. I was originally due November 9, 2017, and my husband’s best friend’s name is Jon. His birthday is November 11. And so he was like, if he’s a true legend, he’ll be born on November 11. And I was like, yeah, okay. Yeah, right, Jon, it’s fine. I’m ready for this baby to be out. He’s going to come on his due date. Lo and behold, he did not.
So let’s go ahead and bounce forward to my labor. I was birth assisting while I was pregnant. Throughout my pregnancy, I didn’t stop working as a birth assistant. I was trying to get in as many births as I could prior to having my own baby. So I woke up on November 11, and I was still pregnant in the morning, and I was just feeling a little off that day, just a little bit off. I was like, a little crampy, but it wasn’t super crazy. And I was like, this isn’t labor, because this definitely isn’t what I remember it being like. I could talk, I can walk, I can do whatever I want. It’s fine. It’s just like a little bit more intense Braxton Hicks. It’s totally fine. And I was also like, Well, I’m having a home birth anyway, so I don’t want to bug my midwife. I don’t want her to be on…too alert basically. There’s a lot of people on my team that are going to have to come to my house, and I don’t want them to be bugged this early in the morning. I think it was like ten in the morning, and I was just hanging out and everything was fine. And then around 01:00 is when I had my first actual realizing contraction. And it was funny because around noon that day, I got a text from a midwife asking if I wanted to attend a birth as a birth assistant. And I was really debating on it, and I was like, maybe. I don’t know. We’ll see. And I talked to my husband and he was like, babe, you said you kind of feel off today. You’re super pregnant. Why don’t you just wait? Why don’t you just pass on today? Retrospectively looking, that was a really great decision to make, because I probably would have ended up having a baby at the same time this other person was having a baby. But I was like, okay. So I tried to eat some lunch. I remember I just had, like, some Top Ramen, and it was like it was really bland, but I didn’t feel like making anything else. Kumar was playing, like, FIFA or something, and I was just like, well, let me just hang out with you. And I was like, well, I am going to get on the ball. And that was around one when I had that larger surge. And I was like, maybe this is labor. Maybe it is, I don’t know.
So I forgot to mention that my mom was living with me basically for like a whole week or maybe two weeks at this point. She had come because she’s like, I am not missing this labor. Like, I will be there. And so I was like, okay, mom, yeah, totally. And then she happened to go to work this day, and so she’s like, I got a double. Like, she was working a double as a massage therapist, which means she was working a twelve-hour shift and she left in the morning. And I was like, okay. She’s like, don’t you dare have this baby today. I was like, okay, mom, I’ll try my best to not have this baby, you know, because everybody is just patiently waiting for his arrival. And so she left. Our family was alone and we were just hanging out. And I think it was just the dynamic of, like, being able to no longer host anyone or just like being like, I’m over being pregnant. And it was the weekend, like the first day of the weekend, so my husband was already home, so I wasn’t like, stressed out about what it would be like to call him and get him back home from work and all that stuff, because he works at the University of Washington Hospital, the UW Medical Center, which is an hour away on a good day with traffic. So he was home. Maybe I was more relaxed or something. And like I said, he was playing FIFA or something, and I was just bouncing on the ball.
And then I started timing them, and I was like, I don’t know. They weren’t, like, taking my attention too much. And I was like, well, I’m just going to do whatever I need to do to relax. So I went to the bathroom. I took a shower. And then I realized that I needed to focus on them. They were taking my attention, and I could no longer ignore them. And so after my shower, it was about probably like, 04:00 when I was starting to relax, or trying to relax. And I had this heating pack, but it was one of those sciencey ones where it was like, gel, and you had to pop a little metal coin inside and it would activate the heat. I had a couple of those. And so I popped it, and I realized that I was, like, rubbing it rhythmically on my leg, and I was, like, using it to cope through contractions.
And Kumar was like, hey, babe, are you okay? How are you doing? I was like, I don’t know. I think things might be picking up, but I think I might actually be in labor. But if I am, it’s still going to be a while. We shouldn’t alert anybody at this point. I did tell my midwife, though, that I was experiencing things, and they were like, thanks for letting me know. Call me if anything changes. Like, we’re in the area anyway for an event. And I was like, okay, great. It was about this time as well, like, right around 04:00 when I called my dad because Kumar had texted my dad or texted my family to give them an update. And so my dad had called me, and he was like, hey, are you having this baby right now? Because I am a person that has party births, so I want my entire family with me because I am really close with my entire family, and I wanted everybody to be there. And so we updated my mom that I was having things. And of course, she was, like, devastated because with her work, she’s, like, away for an hour, an hour and a half at a time away from her phone because she’s providing a massage. Like, she’s giving a service to someone, so her full attention is on that person, and her phone is not with her. And so she was doing this, and then during one of her breaks, she got the notification that I was in labor. And she was like, oh, my God. And then she had a full day ahead of her, like, another six-hour shift. And she was like, oh, my gosh, I don’t want to miss this baby. I need to go. I need to leave. And she ended up crying at work because she thought she was going to miss it. And so, long story short, she ended up getting all of her clients either moved to other massage therapists or canceled for the day because of a family emergency. And so she ended up heading her way back to the house.
So let me go back to when my dad called, and he was like, hey, are you having this baby or not? Because we are going to Lynnwood for something. And if you are in labor, we’re not going to go to Lynnwood because it’s traffic time. We’re not going to be able to get back to you if things start picking up. And I was like, no, dad, it’s fine. Go do your thing. It’s going to be a while. And if this is labor, I was still in denial that I was even in labor. I was like, if this is labor, I have, like, a few more hours. It’s going to be a while. He was like, okay, are you sure? And I was like, yeah, it’s fine. And so I ended up hanging up the phone in, like, ten minutes, at least it felt like ten minutes, ten minutes after that because my dad was already on his way to Lynnwood, and he was like, we’ll turn around right now. And about ten minutes after that my water broke. And it was the strangest experience ever. Luckily, I was wearing my husband’s super thick sweatpants, and luckily I had put the reusable chuck’s pad or blue pad absorbent waterproof pad under my side of the bed as I was laying down. And I was like, actually in labor. And that was the AHA moment of like, oh, shiza. Like, I am actually in labor right now. And so when I said my water broke, it was the strangest feeling. I was having a contraction, and then I feel this pop and then gush. It was like a huge gush. And it was just gushing and gushing and gushing, and I was like, whoa, I didn’t even know I could have this much water in my system or in my system. I didn’t know. My water did not break naturally with my daughter, and so I didn’t know what to expect when water broke. So it was gushing and gushing and gushing out, and I was like, oh, my gosh. And I was like, babe, I need a towel. And he was like, oh, okay. And so he grabbed me a towel and I waddled my way from the bed to the bathroom or master bathroom.
And then at that point, I called my midwife and I was like, hey, my water just broke. And she was like, okay, what does it look like? Does it smell funny? And I was so upset when I pulled down my pants because there was a light tinge of meconium, which is a sign that the baby has done their first poo in utero. And I was so upset. But it wasn’t super dark. It wasn’t fresh. It was probably like, older meconium or even a smaller amount of meconium, but it was like a tinge of light green. It was almost clear, but there was a little bit of green. It didn’t smell funny or anything like that. But I was so upset because I thought that that was going to mean that I was going to have to go to the hospital. And my midwife, I sent a picture to her and she was like, no, that’s fine. I’m going to head to you right now. I’m going to notify the team. I called my doula. I was also informed of my doula throughout this labor. Whenever I would text my midwife, I would text my doula and give her updates. And she’s like, great, I’m in Federal Way. I am here, right? I’m ten minutes away from you. I was like, awesome. So she was the first one to show up. And it was like once my water broke, it was go time. My surges were so different. I started vocalizing right away, and it was just so intense. It was so intense.
And like. I remember Kumar holding Kavina, and there’s, like, this small hallway from our bed to our master bathroom. It’s a small hallway. There’s, like, two walk-in closets in the hallway, you know, on each side, and then you walk through. So I don’t know, 10ft maybe? Yeah, about 10ft or so. And I was in the tub because I was leaking water, so I was just standing in the tub, and I was leaning over the edge of the tub while standing and just, like, moaning vocalizing through my contractions. And then I look up between my contraction, and I see Kumar sitting with Kavina in his lap, and they’re just, like, looking with so much concern. And then Kumar is probably panicking because he is the only one home with Kavina as I’m in labor. And it’s super intense now, and he’s like, you got this, babe. But you can hear the panic in his voice. I understand his panic, but I also found it hilarious. And Kavino was looking worried, and so he was trying to be the strong one, the rock in that situation for both of us.
And it was right around that time that my doula showed up. Because she was only ten or 15 minutes away, she showed up. And when she showed up, it was even more go time. I was like, I really want to try this thing. Because at this point, I was trained as a doula. I knew what I had an idea of the things that I thought I would like or want in labor. And so there’s this one thing that I really wanted to try, and it was using a rebozo or a sheet, tying a knot around it, and putting it over the top of the door. And then you would close the door you would want to put over the top of the door the opposite way of which the door closes. So the way it swings open, you would want the knot of the rebozo to be on the outside of the way that it swings so that when you close it, you can pull on it without the door opening. And so she put a knot in a rebozo, popped it over the door in our bathroom to the toilet, and she closed the door, and I pulled down on it really hard. And can I tell you, I will tell you right now, doing that pulling motion was fantastic. Oh, my gosh. It was amazing. It felt like I was not fighting against my contractions, but doing something. Not just tensing up, but it was like me pulling and doing something.
And at this point, I don’t think that I was bearing down, but I was just doing something during a contraction, which helped my thought process and the way that I was working through labor. So that was great. And then my doula, Kristen, she also did this belly-lifting thing. It was the best. It was great. I loved it so much, where she would put her hands just underneath my belly from behind me, and she would just gently lift, just like a gentle lift. And I don’t know why, but it felt so good. And I feel like it was because of how much pubic synthesis pain I had that it felt good to get the baby’s weight off of that. We were in such a good rhythm together, Kristen and I, and Kumar was in the room, but he was also kind of taking care of Kavina and making sure that she was okay. And then my mom called me at this point when I was in labor, and she was calling me, and she was asking me questions like, what are you doing? How is it? Blah, blah, blah? And I was like, Mom, I’m sorry. I can’t talk right now. I couldn’t talk through contractions anymore. And so she was, like, in a panic. I asked her to call Kumar, and she was doing something. And I don’t know how it happened, but people just started showing up, right? And so, once people started showing up. My sister Monae was there, my baby. Obviously, Kavina was there, and then my doula was there. And my midwife did end up coming and showing up. I say it like that because she barely made it. Like, not like I was pushing him out when she walked through the door, but, like, they were there for less than an hour by the time Kairo was born.
So the doula, Kristen and I were working together and we filled up the tub. And I remember telling her, can you make sure that it’s hot water? You have to turn it to the right and wait for the sound of the water to change. Because I don’t know if you guys experience this in your own homes, but when the hot water finally starts coming, it changes the sound. I don’t know. Instead of just flowing, it changes the sound. Maybe there’s more air in the water or something. I’m not sure. But the sound of the water changed and we filled up the tub. We made sure it wasn’t lava. I really wanted it to be lava, but I could not have lava because I was in labor. But it was warm enough, way warmer than my previous birth with that experience. But, it was warm. It was great. And being in the tub felt amazing. I had family around me, and my midwife and student midwife finally came in, and they were like, oh, things are working. You know, everything was good. And so once my team was there, like, everything else was kind of a blur. I just remember one moment me saying, I need to squeeze someone’s hand. Like, I really need to hold somebody’s hand. And so my little itty bitty daughter Kavina was there, and she gave me her tiny little hand. She was four years old, and she gave me her tiny little hand, and she’s like, here mommy. And I was like, oh, baby, I’m so thankful, but I need a bigger hand. I don’t want to break your hand. And she was like, okay. And so she was like, my mini doula. And she was, like, giving me water, sips of water and things, which was so awesome.
And then I had my sister Monae taking photos because I really wanted to capture photos of this birth. And so Monae was taking photos, and I have some funny photos of Kavina actually. She was, like, taking a selfie with me, having a really intense contraction right behind her, which was really funny. And then. Yeah. So things were picking up. My doula was pouring water over my belly. Kumar was, like, behind me, behind the edge of the tub, we have, like, a wall kind of thing. It’s like a tiny edge of a wall, like a cliff, I guess. I don’t know. Behind the tub where there was access to one of the ends of it. And he was kneeling there, and he had his arm wrapped around my chest, and I was leaning my head against him. And then my mom showed up while Kairo was crowning, actually. And so I went, and I ended up pushing. And things were happening really quickly. I was bearing down. I said I think I need to push. My midwife checked me, and she said I was like eight and a half centimeters when she first got there. And then just maybe like 20 minutes later, I was like, I have to push. I feel like I have to push. I really need to bear down. And she was like, okay. And then the student midwife came in, and she was like, you just have one tiny lip, you know, an anterior lip, but go ahead and push. And I tried to push, and it went away. And then I was bearing down. And then as I was bearing down, my mom comes in, and she has cold hands. Her hands were so cold. But I was like, oh, my God, mom, please touch me. Touch me, please. You feel so good, and it’s so cold.
And so I end up pushing and in my legs, in the tub. Tubs in standard homes are pretty narrow, and so I was angled in a way to where my hips weren’t really as open as wide as they could be. And so my student midwife Mercedes, had asked me, she’s like, why don’t you turn a little bit so that you can spread a little bit? Like, have a little bit more range of motion with your hips. And I did that. And then that is when he started making really good progress. And he came out, which was amazing. He was put directly on my chest. I was like, oh, my God. That felt harder than with Kavina. But I only pushed with him for, like, 15 minutes. And maybe that’s why it seemed so intense, was because my pushing phase with my daughter was a little a bit longer, and it wasn’t as quick of a motion or as much of a body coming out in that short amount of time. I don’t know if that makes sense, but, he came out. I put him on my chest, and it was great, and everything was fine. And then my placenta was ready soon after. And so pushing out my placenta with Kairo felt very different than pushing out my placenta with Kavina. So I, you know, pushed out my I mean, they took the water out of the tub. There was a towel on me and my son, and we drained the water because it was all birthy, and I pushed out my placenta, and right when my placenta came out, it felt like a gush, just like amniotic fluid. In the beginning, it was a gush, and the entire tub just filled up with blood. And then the midwives saw that, and they were like, oh, let’s change this.
And so they gave me a shot of pitocin in my leg, which I had consented to prior to even being in labor because I had shot a pitocin in my leg with my daughter as well. But the reason why seeing the blood at that moment was so alerting and concerning is because my red blood cells were fluctuating a lot. And so I was actually anemic, but I was barely at the cusp of having a safe home birth. But by the time we had checked last time the last time we checked while I was pregnant, I was on the cusp. And so we’re assuming that between the last time I checked, which I think was around 38 weeks, and the time that I was actually in labor, my numbers had probably dropped, so I probably was no longer safe. But I was doing a lot of stuff. I was, like, eating tons of red meat. I was taking supplements. I was taking iron. I was doing a lot. And so my numbers were coming up, but they were still on the cusp. And so just at that point, it ended up being a little scary because I ended up hemorrhaging.
And we did cut Kairo’s cord before we drained the water. And so he was free from me. My mom and Kavina actually cut his cord. And it was great. It was nice. I have an amazing picture of the cord being cut by everybody. There are so many hands and just so much love in that space. I’ll put that on the website for this episode and that was his cord was cut and everything like that. So somebody took the baby and gave Kairo to Kumar. And, you know, once my placenta came out, they were in, like, kind of panic mode. I got pitocin and I think I got a few shots of pitocin because they wanted the blood to stop quickly. And I was still in the bathtub at this point and so I hadn’t gotten out. And so during that drop, the student midwife took my blood pressure and she looked over at the other midwife and was like, hey, her blood pressure is super low. Can you check this for me? And so Tennica checked it, and she was like, I think it’s okay right now. Let’s see. And then my blood pressure must have been fluctuating super crazily because they were like, okay. Yeah. And I was like, well, I feel really weird. I feel really weird. I didn’t know how to explain it. And I was like, my doula brain was like, well when I’m a doula for a client, I’m like, here, have some food. And so my daughter Kavina brought me a banana.
And I started eating the banana, and I just felt worse. I think I took, like, one or two bites out of the banana and I was like, no, mom, can you please take this? I can’t do it. And after that, the only thing I remember is. I was out, like, I went unconscious and I fainted, and I was still in the tub. And I just remember feeling my mom’s cold hands, like, pushing on my chest. And she had, her nails were a little long too, and so she was, like, kind of like, scratching and pushing on my chest, like, baby, baby, are you okay? Hey. Hey. You know, like, talking to me and I guess at this point, my dad had actually just arrived with my stepmom and everybody. So they came, like, right after Kairo was born, and they were there. And then all of this was happening. This didn’t happen until about an hour after he was born. So they had come sometime between Kairo being born and this incident happening, but my dad was going to come say hi. And when he said hi, he said he looked through the door of the bathroom and I had just fainted. Like, it looked like I died. And so he was like, Whoa. And then at that point, I guess my husband was also panicking, for good reason. So he gave Kairo to Mirla, my stepmom, and she took him. And then my dad and my husband went downstairs because they were both in panic mode.
After everything happened, my dad actually ended up telling me, like, postpartum that he went downstairs and took Kumar. And they both had, like, a sip of a beer because they were like, come on, let’s calm down. Like, it’s okay, we’re good. She’s in safe hands. And Kumar just started crying because he was scared. He just observed me fainting. But their time down there did not last very long because the only voice that I would actually respond to was Kumars. And so, you know, I was like he came back in and, of course, 911 was called. And he was trying to figure out how to call. I guess Mercedes came, like, barreling out of the bathroom. Like somebody called 911. You know, like, she fainted. She’s unconscious. Let’s get people here. And I was also told, poor baby. My poor Kavina got, like, little booty bumped by Mercedes as she was coming out of the bathroom. Which is funny, retrospectively. But in the moment, it was, like, a serious moment.
And then Kumar was trying to balance calling 911 while trying to figure out what everybody was kind of all over the place. And so 911 was called. They were on their way. I was still coming back to consciousness. I remember getting the I think it was ammonia. The ammonia little pops, like the things that you pop under your nose and breathe in that kind of, like, wakes you up. The first one did not work for me. And then they did it again for the second one. And that one worked for me. And then the only voice I would respond to was Kumar. So he came back in. And then I went out again and fainted again. I was unconscious again. So I don’t know exactly what was happening around me. I just know I went back to being unconscious. And then the pop of pneumonia again is what brought me back. And then I was stable. And then all I remember is, like, all of these emergency responders coming in. There was, like, three I think there was, like, a woman that was blonde, a man that was Burnett with short hair. And then there was I think there was, like, a dirty blonde man. I’m not sure, but I remember random details. I also remember being super naked and completely naked. And I had not gone out of the tub yet. And when I got out of the tub, I needed support and help to be able to stand up. But I remember getting out of the tub, wrapping a robe around me briefly, and then passing out onto the woman who I had my arm wrapped around. I passed out onto her, and they were taking like as I was getting out of the tub, they had this special chair that made it easier for you to transport people downstairs because I was upstairs in my room. And so we were going downstairs. And they were like, alright, just keep your legs and arms in the chair. Like, keep your knees together and cross your arms across your chest. And so I was like, yeah, okay, I could do that, I could do that. And I was going down the stairs, and I was going face first in this chair with no one in front of me, and I was buckled in and everything, but I was like, oh, you know. I am not a roller coaster person. And that’s what it felt like, that I was going down a roller coaster. And I kept trying to grab the handle or the rail, and they’re like, no, hands in, hands in, because they didn’t want me to hurt myself. And everybody was kind of …they giggled at that little thing moment.
But then I remember trying to like… I’m like, what’s happening? I remember my mom saying that she was going to come with me in the ambulance. And so I think I got transferred to a gurney at this point, like one of those movable tables when I was outside. And with being transferred to the table, I got into the car. And then I kind of heard that Kairo was going to go with Kumar in the car, and Kavino was going to stay at the house with my dad and all of that stuff. But getting in the ambulance and going to the hospital, I think it was like ten, maybe 15 minutes. We went to the hospital that was nearby. I believe we went to St. Francis Hospital in Federal Way. And I just remember being really scared in the ambulance because I was afraid that I was going to die. I was scared that I was going to die. I had a moment because I was tired, and I was like, oh God, I could really go to sleep right now. I remember closing my eyes and seeing like, the behind my eyelids, you know, the darkness of my eyelids, and I was like, Nope, I’m not going to do that because I’m afraid that if I fall asleep, I won’t wake up. And so my mom was there with me, and she was talking to me. She was like, Baby, you’re okay, you’re okay? And I was like, I’m here, mom. It’s fine. But that ride to the hospital seemed very long. And I just remember telling myself, I have so much to live for. I’m not going to die right now. I have so much to live for.
And so we got to the hospital. They transferred me into the ER room. And I remember having this moment of like, how dare they, right? I was going into the ER, and the people that greeted us, like the doctors or nurses, they greeted us at the door and they were like, okay, so what happened? You ended up having a baby at home? And I was like, yeah. And they were like, unexpected? And I was like, no, I had a home birth on purpose. Like, I planned it. And they were like, oh, that’s where you made your mistake. And I was like, rude. Like, I just had a baby, and you’re over here dissing the decisions that I made. Anyways, let’s move on. And then, long story, kind of shortened. They ended up putting me in a room. All I needed was IV fluid, which was great. I think that if I had an IV when I was in labor, which I opted out of, I probably wouldn’t have had to go to the hospital and I would have been getting fluids during labor. But I opted out of that and ended up in the situation I was in.
So I ended up getting three bags of fluids. I went home 3 hours later, and I felt fine. But I also felt like a failure because I wanted to have this amazing home birth and just stay at home and cuddle up in bed with my babies. But I ended up having to go to the hospital anyway and so I really dealt with that postpartum. I actually ended up having some postpartum depression and I didn’t realize it very much until I was a few days or no, I don’t know, maybe like a week or two postpartum. I gave birth in November, so it was dark. There was not much sunlight in the day. I just remember, like, being snappy with Kumar at some point postpartum within that first month and saying, don’t close the blinds. You know, because the sun was still setting and I can still see that there was some blue in the sky. It was, like, purplely, like, starting to get dark purple, but it wasn’t black yet. And I remember saying, don’t close the blinds. I want as much sunlight as I can get. And he’s like, Whoa, okay. Yeah, that’s fine. And then, you know, of course, I talked about my emotions as much as I possibly could to let them know, like, hey, I’m okay. But it was like it wasn’t, like, strong, super strong postpartum depression. Like, I didn’t need medication. I didn’t need to be seen. But I knew that something was different. And I didn’t actually label it as postpartum depression until about one year postpartum. Because when I was in the thick of it, I didn’t realize it, but so there was that after all of that birth, like, I breastfed, I actually ended up being able to breastfeed him in the ER. And then my midwife did the newborn exam in the ER, like, my whole everybody came. We also had another friend that was like just chilling downstairs. His name is Taurus. He was chilling downstairs as everything was going on because, you know, we were birthing his godson at the time. And so he came to support and so he was there and then he came to like, everybody came to the ER, like my midwife, the student midwife, my doula, my family, everybody was there. And so I filled up the waiting room with my family, which is great because I had so much support, but I also felt bad that everybody had to come, but that was a whole different thing.
But I got to nurse Kairo in the ER, and then my breastfeeding journey after that was fine. It was a little pinchy, it was a little different, but I had a lot of confidence in my ability to breastfeed since I breastfed my daughter Kavina for three and a half years, which was a huge accomplishment for me, and I felt amazing. And so I had a lot of confidence because I had only stopped breastfeeding for a year at that point because around the time we decided we wanted to conceive is when I decided to stop breastfeeding Kavina. And so three and a half years for Kavina, and then Kairo’s breastfeeding journey was great. I actually breastfeed him up until he was two years old, and the only reason why I stopped was because he was so rude and demanding about it. And I was like, nope, Mommy’s, nipples are off-duty. Like, I have injuries, you know, I would tell him that I was hurt and I put bandaids over my nipples and he was like, owie, when are they getting better? And I was like, Sorry, buddy, it’s going to take a long time. And then we just didn’t breastfeed again. But the weaning process was harder for him than it was for me because I felt ready.
But, yeah, like, my birth with Kairo, the birth itself, like the labor and birth itself was amazing. It was kind of ideal in my eyes. Of course, during my pregnancy, I had some family members and friends being like, a home birth, that’s so dangerous. And I was like, no, if you do it properly with people that are trained and you’re safe and low risk, you can. And so I was like an activist throughout my pregnancy as well. But all in all, my pregnancy and labor and birth were fantastic. And the only thing that was a struggle for me was my immediate postpartum where I hemorrhaged. I believe I lost 800 or 1000 blood, so almost a liter of blood. And I’m happy that I got to come home a few hours later. And then my postpartum after that was fine except for some of the baby blues and postpartum depression. But I felt so supported postpartum as well. Like, I had family come check on us and my mother-in-law lives with us, my husband’s mother lives with us. So when we bought a house, we all moved in together again because we were not living with her before. And like between when we had Kavina to when we had Kairo, we had moved into our own apartment and we were living in our own apartment for two and a half years. And then when we bought a home, we decided to move back in together. And so she was living with us and she made the most amazing food. She was the one that checked on me all the time.
I also had this amazing drink postpartum from my stepmom, like a Guatemalan traditional drink that helps you have good milk supply. I also had that in my postpartum period with Kavina and so I was like begging for it the second time as well because it’s good. It also tasted good, which made it awesome. And it’s something that was easy to heat up in the middle of the night. It was great. So postpartum was good and I felt great. And now he is five. He’s five years old, which is crazy to think about because I still remember so many details about all of my births and I hope that I always do.
But yeah. So thank you so much for listening to my story of my first home birth experience. I did end up having another baby as well, as you may know already if you’ve listened to my last episode. My daughter Katana is one, so I actually plan on sharing her birth story next week. So if you want to listen to her birth story, I actually chose to do a birth center birth this time, and listen to how the pregnancy went with her, join me next week because it was different. It was definitely different than the first two. Third babies are wild cards, so I am happy to share that as well.
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