Description:
In this episode, I had to opportunity to interview Mauri while she was 7 months pregnant with her second son, about the birth of her first son Elio. She talks about the adventure of getting from Whidbey Island to her hospital in North Seattle during labor and the importance of postpartum preparation.
Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only with no intention of giving or replacing any medical advice. I, Kiona Nessenbaum, am not a licensed medical professional. All advice that is given on the podcast is from the personal experience of the storytellers. All medical or health-related questions should be directed to your licensed provider.
Books:
- Taking Charge of Your Fertility-Toni Weschler, MPH
- Like A Mother-Angela Garbes
- Bumpin’-Leslie Schrock
- The Fourth Trimester-Kimberly Anne Johnson
- The Birth Partner-Penny Simkin
- Pregnancy Childbirth and The Newborn
Resources:
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Transcription of Episode 32:
Kiona: 0:11
Hello, and welcome to Birth As We Know It. I am your podcast host, Kiona Nessenbaum. I have experienced birth as a doula, a student midwife, and as a mother of three amazing children with my husband and high school sweetheart by my side. After attending over 130 births, including my own, I’ve realized that each birth experience is truly unique. So make sure you subscribe and join me every week as we are guided through many different birth experiences through the lens of the storyteller. Please be aware that some of the stories can be triggering to hear, so feel free to pause, take a breath, and come back and listen whenever you’re ready. With that said, let’s prep ourselves to dive deep and get detailed about what really happens in the birth space.
As a reminder, this podcast is intended for educational purposes only, and has no intention of giving or replacing any medical advice. All advice that is given on the podcast is from the personal experiences of the storytellers. All medical or health-related questions should be directed to your licensed provider.
Hello everybody and welcome back to the Birth as we know it podcast. Today we will be interviewing Mauri Zingarelli on her birth and I am super excited to hear it. So welcome Mauri.
Mauri: 1:30
Hello. Hello. So happy to be here.
Kiona: 1:33
Yeah, I’m super excited to hear your story. We connected briefly just like as acquaintances through a mutual friend, so I’m happy to connect and hear more. Shout out to Kaeleigh
Mauri: 1:42
Yes. Hello, Kaeleigh
Kiona: 1:45
Yeah. So let’s go ahead and start off this episode by you telling us a little bit about yourself and who’s in your family.
Mauri: 1:51
Okay, great. So we live in Seattle, Washington, and we’ve, me and my husband have been here for over 10 years. We have an almost two and a half year old named Elio. My husband’s name is Danny, and I’m seven months pregnant with another boy on the way due in December. which is very exciting. Not at all nerve wracking. Thinking about having two boys, um, and uh, I also work with, uh, a professional theater company out here and I work in their youth education department and I’ve been doing that for about seven years, which is really fulfilling right now. I get to work super, super part-time and watch Elio for most of the time, which is just delightful.
Kiona: 2:37
Yeah, just being present around your little one. Ugh, it’s, I would say it’s, personally, I find it bittersweet just because there’s so many amazing things about being with your kids 24/7, but there’s also a ton of not so amazing things that you just adjust to as a parent.
Mauri: 2:53
Yes, we’re really getting into the twos
Kiona: 2:56
Hm mm-hmm.
Mauri: 2:57
in all the ways that I guess I was warned about, but it is still kind of shocking to see. This like little cherub go from sweet, angelic, perfect baby angel to Mm. I call him like Jekyll and Hyde because he’s like just constantly flipping back and forth between, uh, the sweetest yummiest little person to like the most aggravated, angry, emotional, little being I’ve ever met. So we’re definitely in that phase.
Kiona: 3:29
Yeah. I have found that the two-phase two, three-phase really puts a mirror to myself on how
Mauri: 3:37
Hmm.
Kiona: 3:37
I deal with emotions. Because I mean, when they give an outburst, I’m like, I wanna give an outburst back, so I need to take a breath. Um,
Mauri: 3:44
I know
Kiona: 3:46
I’d be like, okay, let’s restart this. Um, but yeah. Yeah, they’re so lovely though, and it is really such an amazing age because you watch them learn so much and then the speech gets better and things just evolve, which is pretty cool.
Mauri: 4:03
I know the, yeah, he’s totally blossoming and it’s so fun to see his personality. And all of my friends are obsessed with his personality, which makes me feel so excited and proud and yeah, he’s just, he’s just our little buddy that’s, Danny and I are always looking at each other. We’re like, he’s just our little best friend. Like, this is so delicious. It’s, it’s so remarkable. Yeah,
Kiona: 4:23
Yeah. You guys made a best friend together, like, that’s so cool
Mauri: 4:26
I know, I know. It’s so fun. He is like gonna be his own thing, but also this perfect blend of the two of us and yeah, we just, we usually are having a pretty good time. I would say being pregnant with a toddler. Wow. Wow.
Kiona: 4:40
Mm-hmm.
Mauri: 4:41
Yes. We are experiencing new levels of Tapping into a deep, deep well of patience,
Kiona: 4:50
Yeah.
Mauri: 4:51
and, uh, combating with just the hormonal changes that happen in pregnancy to, like, my first pregnancy with Elio was during the pandemic.
Kiona: 5:01
Mm-hmm.
Mauri: 5:02
I was just sitting on my butt on the couch for like nine months working from home, hardly even moving my body. So actually the one nice thing about being pregnant with a toddler is I feel so strong for this pregnancy, but the last one was just so easy.’cause all I had to do was be excited about growing a, a one baby and just yeah, sit and eat and be taken care of. So, so this one’s a, this one’s a lot different.
Kiona: 5:32
Yeah, of course. I mean, you know, and even if it was outside of the pandemic when you were pregnant, it was your first pregnancy, so you weren’t chasing around a toddler. Makes a humongous difference.
Mauri: 5:42
Yeah. Yeah, it really does. It’s amazing what we’re able to do.
Kiona: 5:46
Yeah. It really is. The things that you learn and find out that you sacrifice as a parent are that’s, that’s a whole other podcast
Mauri: 5:55
I know exactly, exactly. I know. Yes, I get it.
Kiona: 5:59
Yes. Um, so let’s go ahead and talk about, um, like get into the birth aspect of the podcast. So have you ever attended any births prior to having your own birth with Elio?
Mauri: 6:11
No, no. I barely watched some videos while I was pregnant with Elio and yeah, I was going in pretty blind, which was wild.
Kiona: 6:22
Yeah. Yeah. So let’s dive into a little bit more of that, like going in blind, how did that feel? Like? What were things that you did during your pregnancy to kind of help you have a little bit more vision on what to expect?
Mauri: 6:35
Yeah, I, I was really happy. Danny and I took a birthing class with Penny Simkin, who’s like the OG doula mama. Um, she’s, she’s now in her seventies and she was leading the class through Zoom, which was so iconic, and super, super helpful. So we were able to learn, um, just the, yeah, the complexities, the intricacies, the tools that you can really tap into as the birthing person, but also as the birthing partner, uh, or the birthing persons, partner. So that class was really great. I think it was, it was like seven or nine weeks and once a week, three hours long. So it was really in depth and to be surrounded by other people, almost all first time parents. Almost all first time birthing people. So we were all kind of in it together. There were people who would be like typing into the chat about how terrified they were of birth, and I would say that was never my experience. I was never terrified, always very curious and definitely a little naive. I think like going into it, I was really excited to pursue birth unmedicated, which I think is still fantastic like that for, for me, especially back then, I was under the impression like, Hey, we’ve been doing this for as long as humans have existed, unmedicated, why should I do this any differently? That’s how I’m gonna go. I wanna be the, the most in tune with my body. I wanna have access to all of my sensations. I just wanna do it the way that all of my ancestors have done this. No, no medication, definitely no epidural. And learning from Penny Simpkin, the, the approach is definitely the goal is unmedicated. And, um, so yeah, going into it, that was definitely the goal. Dot, dot, dot.
Kiona: 8:36
Yeah, dot, dot, dot. There’s a little, little cue there.
Mauri: 8:40
uhhuh. But I’ll also say I did read a lot of books. So I read some books on, on just a lot of birth stories and so it was good to read. And I listened to some podcasts about birth stories, so it was great to like, take in other people’s stories. And so going into it, I was really aware that anything can happen. It’s gonna be different for everyone. I was expecting a long labor experience because my mom’s labor with me was over 24 hours long. So I was like anticipating that. I honestly still have a hard time believing that first time births can be shorter than that, but it happens all the time. So yeah, it can just be so varied. And it was good to, to recognize that and learn that ahead of time.
Kiona: 9:26
Yeah. And I think that that is a good point because, you know, listening to birth stories, getting that input from different resources and. Let me also backtrack and say, I love Penny Simpkin. Penny Simpkin is awesome. Um, I could be totally biased because I’ve volunteered with her for a couple of times as a doula in those classes and like worked alongside her in, in other things. But she is truly like, I don’t even know the words. Like she’s just so giving and so informed and so open-minded to even the changes as they come over the years. Like, ugh, she’s great. And then she’s wrote, obviously she’s written a couple of books like Pregnancy Childbirth with a Newborn alongside other amazing birth providers, birth workers, um, yeah, and Katie Rose is like her right hand woman, and they’re amazing. Like the things they do together are amazing. And then one of the other books is called The Birth Partner. There’s so many different
Mauri: 10:21
we loved that one.
Kiona: 10:23
Yeah, it’s so good and it’s also super inclusive and, you know, they started changing their language to just be more inclusive and nothing, none of the information changes, like, meaning like by just in making it inclusive, you know what I mean? Um, so all of the information is just amazing, so I love that so much. Um, okay, now going back to what I was saying earlier, was I really think that it’s awesome that you brought up the point of length of labor, because with labor, there’s all of these horror stories about, oh my gosh, I’m gonna have my baby so fast. Like, I don’t wanna have my baby in the car. And then there’s the, oh my God, I was in labor for 30 hours, 48 hours, blah, blah, blah. Like all of these things. It, there’s such a difference in such a wide spectrum of what birth can look like. So I think that it’s awesome that you did listen to birth stories through a podcast. And I’m not trying to be like, listen to my podcast, but I mean, like, Like that you did listen to birth stories, whether it was from a podcast, whether it was from friends and got information of how different birth could truly look for people.
Mauri: 11:24
Mm-hmm.
Kiona: 11:25
and that there is a range of what normal can look like,
Mauri: 11:28
right?
Kiona: 11:28
which I think is important. And a lot of people do say to look back at how your parents’ births went. Um, like what was the birth of your mom from your grandmother’s? And like, you know, like, what was that, like, how long was it?’cause they say it’s a really good kind of hint at what your birth could potentially look like. And I would say that rings true for some people and some people it doesn’t. So it’s just kind of
Mauri: 11:52
Yeah. And for me it was, it was spot on. And, and I was surprised because my mom and I are physically very different. I always have always felt like I look and have like health things similar to like my dad’s sister, which is funny. Um, so, but with my mom, when she Yeah, gave birth to me, it started with her water breaking and that’s like before contractions. And that’s what happened with me too, which is apparently pretty rare. Um, and my labor was about 22 hours long and hers was about 24. So yeah, I was surprised that, that it was so similar.
Kiona: 12:30
Yeah. Yeah. Like I, okay, let’s, let’s dive more into that,’cause I wanna hear more about that. So let’s go ahead and talk about, um, let’s talk about your pregnancy first. So, when it came to your pregnancy, were you trying to get pregnant? Were you working really hard? What was the conception process like for you? And how did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?
Mauri: 12:51
Oh, I love talking about this. It’s so funny.’cause yeah, before I got pregnant, before I had kids, I was always interested in doing those things, but I was not like, obsessed the way that I am now And I feel like you and I can relate on that. It’s just like, it’s so fascinating. There’s so much to learn. So yeah, Danny and I got pregnant pretty quickly and we, um, we knew that we wanted to get pregnant in 2020 if possible. We got married Our wedding was set for July of 2020 and we had to change so much, mostly just the guest list so that it was just our parents present. But we continued with our plans to get married because we were so excited to do the, like we wanted to get married and then we wanted to have a kid right away. So we were, um, yeah, pretty lucky in getting pregnant. We got married at the end of July and we’re finding out that we were pregnant in September. At the end of September. And,, I had gone off of birth control. I was taking the pill. Um, so I had gone off of that and I was, had been taking, um, spironolactone for acne. So I had gone off of that like, uh, around July because I knew that we were gonna start trying and I wanted to be free and clear.
Kiona: 14:07
right?
Mauri: 14:09
the first month, like August when we didn’t get pregnant, it’s so funny to look back on how devastated I was the first time that we were trying to get pregnant. And I knew nothing I like, was mostly just looking at a cycle tracker on my phone that was telling me, Hey, you might be ovulating. And so I was like, okay, I might be ovulating. Let’s, let’s go do it. Um, I was not Peeing on a stick to figure out if I actually was ovulating. I was not tracking my fertility cycle in any way, shape or form. And so I was like devastated that we didn’t get pregnant that first month, which is so funny. Um, looking back on it, but I think there, there is just so much more information out there about fertility and infertility and I have a wild imagination that my brain just jumped to a conclusion that it absolutely didn’t need to jump to. So I got that book taking charge of your fertility after that.
Kiona: 15:04
Hmm. That’s a good one.
Mauri: 15:05
So I got that like mid-August and I started learning about tracking my temperature. So the basal temp, I started learning about cervical fluid. I started learning about how to track all of those things and it was so. eyeopening. I loved learning about this and as soon as I started actually applying those tools, yeah, we got pregnant immediately. So I would really recommend that book. Taking charge of your fertility there. It is definitely written to help a person get pregnant, but it’s also written to help a person not get pregnant, um, by tracking their, their cycle, since generally there are only a few days when a woman can get pregnant. So anyways, I really enjoyed learning that, that information and yeah, we got pregnant really quickly and it was so exciting to find out. I remember I had a dream, so I must have been like I was, I had like just gotten pregnant. They would call it probably four weeks pregnant, but I had only been, it had only been two weeks since conception and I had a dream and in this dream my friend was pregnant and I woke up. And my boobs felt different and I’d had that dream and I just, I think it was like, I also was having a hard time sleeping. It was like 6:00 AM five 30 and I slunk to the bathroom and I peed on a pregnancy test. And yeah, lo and behold, boop, pregnant. And I love looking back on that and noticing the little, the little things that were showing me, at least for my body that I was pregnant. It was like so special. And I crawled into bed where Danny was sleeping and I just showed it to him and we snuggled and we were so excited. And yeah, we we told our friends and family like so quickly, we had a hard time waiting a week. Mm-hmm..Yeah. So that’s, that’s our story.
Kiona: 17:07
Yeah. I love that. I really, really love that. And I wanted to start off by saying you feeling completely distraught and emotional after finding out you weren’t pregnant the first time is totally valid and totally okay. And yes, it could be funny to look on now because you’re like, oh my God, all the stuff I didn’t know. But that experience helped turn you to knowing more.
Mauri: 17:29
Absolutely. You’re right.
Kiona: 17:30
So, yeah. So embrace that. Like be okay with being sad, you know
Mauri: 17:35
Yeah, absolutely.
Kiona: 17:36
it was, yeah.’cause it’s a trial, like trying to conceive is no joke. Um, it’s. It’s a challenge and it really messes with you emotionally and physically. And then you’re like, oh my gosh, okay, let’s have this sexy transaction, but can, it can yield no results, you know? And then you’re like, Ugh. And then you’re like, well, did you even enjoy it? And you’re like, I don’t even know. Like I’m just mad that I’m not pregnant. You know? Like it, there’s so much that goes into it.
Mauri: 18:01
You get in your head, and I think like the generation At least for, I’ll speak for me, like the generation of my mom and dad, they’re all those people that I was talking to, they were like, well, trying’s the fun part. Ha ha ha. And like, oh, it’s so easy. Ha ha ha. And so fun and simple. And yeah, it just was immediately not the case for me. I was like, no, we must get, I wanna get pregnant so quick if possible. And I think there’s also that perfectionism that jumped right in, which was interesting to notice. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Kiona: 18:36
And turn and be like, what’s wrong with me? Like, what happens? Like, ugh, so much. But yeah, I’ve definitely heard that and I still hear that like, oh, making the babies is a fun part, you know? Like, yes, of course it is fun, it is enjoyable, but at the same time it’s not fun when it is in that mindset of a transaction, you know? And trying to still have that intimacy, while conceiving can be a challenge sometimes it’s super easy for people to like, not worry about, but some people want it so bad
Mauri: 19:05
Mm-hmm.
Kiona: 19:06
that every single time they do the do, it’s with an intention. And when that intention doesn’t fall through, it’s just heartbreaking. So
Mauri: 19:14
It is. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for validating that. I appreciate it.
Kiona: 19:18
yeah. yeah. Of course but I do also love how you woke up from a dream that told you you were pregnant. I am a strong, strong believer. In dreams. Um, I am very, I guess people would probably say like superstitious in that way is, I believe dreams are true. Dreams are real. Whether it’s about telling the future, telling the past, or just giving a message, sending a message of some kind. I 100% believe in dreams. So I love that. I think it’s super awesome that you, you know, kind of got the hint that your friend was pregnant in your dream and you’re like, Hmm, there’s pregnancy in my dream. I’m about to go pee on this stick.
Mauri: 19:53
Yeah.’cause have you heard the theory that in your dreams, every person is you?
Kiona: 20:00
Yes, I have
Mauri: 20:01
Yeah. So I think that was, that was what was going on. the friend was me.
Kiona: 20:06
.Yeah. Yeah. Ooh, yeah, that’s true. That is true. And then I’ve, you know, I’ve spoken on this in the podcast in the past, like I’ve had a dream before about like my husband’s best friend who had a girlfriend and I didn’t know what she looks like. And I just woke up and I was like, Jon’s girlfriend is pregnant. Like,
Mauri: 20:25
Oh,
Kiona: 20:26
she look like? Like I’ve never met her before. What does she look like? My husband shows me a picture. I was like, oh my God, you need to tell Jon.
Mauri: 20:33
that’s nutts
Kiona: 20:33
then, yeah, it was crazy. And then he, um, he was like, oh, haha. Like, you know, that would be crazy. And then I think one or two weeks later they found out she was pregnant. So
Mauri: 20:43
Oh my gosh.
Kiona: 20:45
yeah, it was insane. But it was, it was fun. And I was like, I was also like, shooketh to the core that like, I was like, oh my God, my dream was real. You know, like,
Mauri: 20:53
am a seer
Kiona: 20:54
yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, which is really fun to kind of think about. Sometimes the native in me, the native in me comes out. My grandma just like, you know, telling me like, you better write your dreams down girl.
Mauri: 21:07
Yeah. That is so powerful. I it.
Kiona: 21:09
Yeah. It really is. Um, but yes. So when you found out you were pregnant with Elio what was going through your head with the next decisions, like telling your friends right away? That was super awesome. I guess I should say, what experience did you have with your pregnancy? Did you have a lot of nausea? Like all those details?
Mauri: 21:32
Yeah, so speaking of that, feeling of devastation, after the first month of not getting pregnant, I had something similar happen the first week of pregnancy where I was terrified that I was going to lose the baby because it is quite common, especially by like week five or six, even week eight, to lose the baby. Um, and I had continued tracking my temperature and you know, they said that if there was like a significant drop in your temperature, it could be a warning sign that you’re gonna have a miscarriage. And yeah, at like week five I checked my temperature and I had had a significant drop and I just plummeted into fear. Fear mongering, Googling the spiral, and it became a whole thing. So that afterwards, once, once we realized everything was okay, and this was in fact not happening, um, my husband and my friends were letting me know, um, you need to stay off Google Like, you need to not go on a Google, uh, search spiral. And I was like, okay, that’s fair. Um, so that was really interesting to notice. Again, I think that it’s fantastic that people are speaking more openly about, um, miscarriages, especially these days. And it really got in my head and made me fear that I was going to be one of those statistics. Um, so I think looking back, I wish I could have given myself some, some breathing space and some grace and just told myself to relax, especially in those first weeks. Um, and once I got over that kind of scared, scared moment, I. I really started getting very excited and we started looking into who would we want to work with, um, where would we wanna be giving birth? And I felt pretty clear right away that I would prefer to give birth in a hospital over a birth center. And I think it was just,’cause again, clearly I have a wild imagination, and I like to have, I, it, it felt like a little bit of security. Like, okay, I know that if I can give birth in a hospital, then we’ll have everything that we need
Kiona: 23:47
Mm-hmm.
Mauri: 23:47
in case anything goes wrong. However, I was concerned about working with an OBGYN when I started learning the differences in approach between OBGYNs and midwives, for example. And, um, I was able to talk to a friend who was in midwifery school at the time, and she kind of, this was her opinion, you know, she broke it down. Like midwives have been working on births. For centuries and centuries, like they have this philosophy that we are meant to be able to give birth with very few issues and this is what we’re built for. Whereas OBGYNs, they came into play. Oh, I also read this book called Like a Mother
Kiona: 24:33
Mm.
Mauri: 24:33
Uhhuh, and that one is fantastic. She also went into this OBGYNs. So doctors helping with births that only started in the early 19 hundreds. And of course it was men who were doing it. And a lot of the practices, I will say a hundred years ago, a lot of the practices was not believing women and not taking advice of midwives. And a lot of the approaches to this day are expect the worst, right? Like prepare for the worst.
Kiona: 25:06
Mm-hmm.
Mauri: 25:07
um, so that’s why you can see maybe an increase in using forceps or vacuums or maybe even c-sections when you’re working with an OBGYN. Again, this is all my opinion from some research that I did, but I’m so not an expert. I was really excited to find that there is a midwife clinic, like a group of midwives through UW Medical, um, here in Seattle who are all certified nurse midwives and they get to be the ones in charge at births at Northwest Hospital. So I was like, oh my gosh, I get to work with a midwife and give birth in a hospital just in case. And it really felt like the best of both worlds. So once we discovered them, it was such smooth sailing and I felt so taken care of by them. And they were so good about making sure each, there’s like, there were like seven or eight of, of these midwives. Every of appointment that I had, I met a different one so that whoever was gonna be there during the big show, the big birth. Um, I would’ve interacted with them before, which was really cool, and I was really grateful to have found that perfect scenario for me. It works for me, and I’m working with them again for this pregnancy.
Kiona: 26:22
Oh, that’s awesome. Yeah. I also really love that and I love your whole process of, first off, knowing your boundaries, knowing how you’re comfortable, and then also doing research in order to make sure that wherever you do choose to give birth, you’re supported in your decisions. And you know, doing the research between the kinds of providers that you could be working with in a hospital setting. I think that’s awesome. I also think that using a midwife, like an in-hospital midwife is a good middle ground for a lot of people, you know? Um,’cause then you still are in that space, in the hospital space where you can have all of the things you need in case of emergencies, but then you also get that kind of midwifery model of care, the different kinds of appointment lengths and
Mauri: 27:04
Yeah. Yeah. So that was really great. And then in terms of what kind of pregnancy? I had the first trimester. I describe it as just feeling constantly hungover.
Kiona: 27:15
Mm.
Mauri: 27:15
Just so constantly, am I gonna puke? No. Am I gonna puke? No. And I literally never puked but just always felt on the verge. And the only thing that kept the nausea at bay was seriously like hangover food, like burritos and burgers and fries. Like things that I would normally not have been drawn to And I was just, yeah, I was just a whole new person. I didn’t know who I was when I was like, In line at a Wendy’s fast food ordering burgers and fries and shakes. I’m like, this has never been me, but this is me now. And, uh, just yeah, kind of constantly, always having saltines at hand. Those little ginger chews really helped for the nausea. And it was similar with this pregnancy that I’m in now where I, I was super nauseous and had a lot of aversions, but never, I was not the kind, I’m not, I guess I’m just not a puker in the first trimester so far. Um,
Kiona: 28:16
Yeah.
Mauri: 28:18
and then, yeah, with Elio’s pregnancy, I was really surprised that by the start of the second trimester, you know, I was only three and a half months in, I, maybe even less. I remember it was around Christmas, my back went out.
Kiona: 28:33
Hmm.
Mauri: 28:33
and I was just on this like sweet little pre-Christmas walk through the woods with my family and suddenly something tweaked in my lower back and I had to like be hobbled. I like hobbled back home and was laid out on my back for at least a day before I could go see someone to help adjust it. And it turns out I was just, I had a really vulnerable, like sacrum area. And it led to just a ton of lower back pain. I tried to do what I could to strengthen because I think what was also happening is I’m. inherently just a very flexible person. And then with the increase of that relaxin hormone, my body went, ugh. And I’m kind of like yawning’cause everything just like relaxed even more and too much and everything just got too stretchy and started breaking down. So I worked with uh, just this great body worker who helped me realize I needed to be working on strengthening rather than stretching.’cause I think a lot of the focus in pregnancy is like stretching and yoga and that’s all great, but I needed to focus on yoga that was strengthening, not stretching. And I started wearing, you know, belly bands. I got a rebozo to, to tie around to support my belly really early on, like way before I was showing. And it really, this pain like came, you traveled with me throughout the whole pregnancy and even I was dealing with pain like, Like eight months ago, like it, it’s kind of like stayed with me. So that was like a really frustrating part of, of my journey. Um, I don’t know if there’s anything I could have done to prepare for it. I think it’s just good to know. I loved learning about how the pelvis is all built and how it’s carrying everything for our body and all the connectors. because that did allow me to learn how to strengthen kind of like building blocks on top of each other so that I was a little stronger there. Um, for some reason I’m not dealing with that pain for this pregnancy, so hallelujah, Um, but yeah, that really followed me, um, and was just kinda this constant pain. I figured out some ways that would alleviate it. and I think that was, uh, ultimately why I was not as active as I think I quote should have been during my first pregnancy. Um,’cause really, like sometimes going on walks would hurt and I would just get so frustrated. So I think I was like trying to hide from it for a lot of the time. Um, so that was definitely the hardest part about my pregnancy, was just that pain. Otherwise everything was going pretty smoothly. Um, and I carried to term
Kiona: 31:21
Yeah. Oh man, that sounds tough. Like especially that happening so early on and Like you said, even before you were showing like a lot of people think or a lot of people feel that most of the pain starts when you get a big belly. You know? Or like when baby starts getting heavier, when really your body changes from the moment. From the moment you conceive your biology is changing and that relaxin is real. That relaxin is so real and um, you are not the first person that I’ve heard say that you’re like naturally flexible then the relaxin just did like hyper drive on that. And I guess that’s good to know for any listeners that feel as if they are like already pretty flex, flexible and to kind of consider and think about how relaxin might impact their body. Um, and then you said this time around, you know, you’re not dealing with that. That’s awesome. I think that’s great. Um,
Mauri: 32:14
Yeah.
Kiona: 32:15
but yeah, that can be super hard to. To do that. And then also, you know, with the Covid Pandemic on top of that in your pregnancy, like you can’t really go anywhere. But then when you do just try to walk around, you’re in pain and so you’re like, Ugh, what am I gunna do
Mauri: 32:28
I remember I was just desperate for a pool. I just wanted to float somewhere because my pregnancy was like mostly during the cold months, so I wasn’t gonna go like swim in a lake. Um, Uh, but everything was shut down. The, the gym that was close by that had a pool not open. None of, you know, I, I honestly was like back and forth about just booking at a hotel that I knew had a pool.’cause I just wanted that pressure to be alleviated. So I think, yeah, that there were definitely a lot of obstacles with the pandemic. Of course. of course.
Kiona: 33:02
Yeah. As soon as anybody says pandemic, you’re like, so what did you have to change?
Mauri: 33:06
Mm-hmm.
Kiona: 33:07
what did have adjust? Um, which is everything.
Mauri: 33:09
Right. right. Mm-hmm. Yep.
Kiona: 33:11
Yeah. Oh man. So as you got closer to the end of your pregnancy, what was going through your mind as you were like prepping for labor?
Mauri: 33:21
Hmm. So I think Penny’s class was great for prepping because I was starting to think about tools for pain. Right. What I was going to do. To get through, uh, an unmedicated birth Um, and I really appreciated this one section of her class especially was all about breath and sound and movement. And it kind of reminds me of like even hypnobirthing, like, you can kind of get yourself into this great rhythm.
Kiona: 34:00
Mm-hmm.
Mauri: 34:00
sure enough, I did end up finding that rhythm. I, I don’t know if a person can know what their rhythm would be ahead of time. Um, I definitely didn’t. But then when I was in labor, I was like moving back and forth and I was, I call it, I was making noises like a ghostly cow. I was like, Ooh, So, so the, but it was great to have been given a heads up to look out for opportunities to incorporate sound and rhythm and movement. Um, So once, once I felt my body just kind of wanting to naturally do that, I was like, oh, wait, wait. This is, this is a good thing. This is a good thing. Like, lean into it. And I just leaned right into that cow sound Um, so that class was super helpful and um, in that class as well, they showed the partners some touch that could be really helpful. This one in particular, I ended up having what they call back labor where like, oh, so much pain in my back while I was having contractions instead of my front. Um, which has to do with the, the baby’s positioning. But there was this one move that Danny did where I would be like, kind of say, leaning over a couch on my knees, with my back facing up and he would press on the sides with his, each of his hand, press on the sides of my hips quite hard, give it quite a big amount of pressure and then move his hands from one side to the other in kind of like a bridge motion. And that was so fantastic that he knew that going in because we really ended up using it. But they also showed us like some really gentle, delicious, um, like hand massage. That was really great. We were reading Penny’s book, birth Partners. yeah, and I was, I was talking to who I could about birth, but a funny fact about our pregnancy is that we were the first. Uh, like I was the first of all of my cousins and the first of my siblings and the first of all of my friends to have a baby. So I didn’t have people my age to talk to who had been who had given birth recently. Um, so I was talking a lot to people who had given birth 30 plus years ago, and it was helpful, but not necessarily, like, not all of the details were on the forefront of their mind. I remember I had read about eating dates and drinking red, uh, raspberry leaf tea at like 36 weeks and then I didn’t really do those things, so those did not happen. Um, yeah, so it was mostly that class that was super helpful and then, you know, just the nesting phase kicks in and so I was just kind of busy prepping our apartment for a little baby.
Kiona: 36:50
Yeah. Yeah. I think that is amazing. All of the information you just said is so good. I remember always, always, always telling my doula clients about that specific hip squeeze massage thing. I wish there was, if I can find like a video of it, I’ll put it in the, the show notes of this episode. But it’s so helpful. And the thing that was hardest when trying to help clients with that and like teach clients how to do that is the partner was always nervous of how hard to actually squeeze, you know? Um, and of course for each person it’s a little bit different, but just going in, knowing that you’re gonna need quite a bit of pressure and be okay with that and just communicate with your partner and know, like You know, oh, this is too hard. Or like, oh, okay, perfect. Or harder, you know,
Mauri: 37:38
Yep. Yeah, and to think of it as like you’re really giving counter pressure because as intense as the contractions are happening, what you’re doing is giving a pressure that’s gonna like try to beat that um, to, to alleviate some of the, the strain, but also it, for me, it was able to kind of pull me out of the pain of the contractions, which was helpful.
Kiona: 38:02
Yeah. Yeah. Which I think is really awesome. going into your labor now, you had mentioned that you were having back labor. Were you told that Elio was, um, occiput posterior, or like op?
Mauri: 38:17
No, I wasn’t told anything. I wasn’t told anything about that,
Kiona: 38:20
Mm
Mauri: 38:20
and I don’t even, so that’s where like I learned about back labor, the general causes afterwards. So I’m not even a hundred percent sure that he was in the quote unquote that position exactly. That you said, or. I don’t know why else I would’ve had back labor, but
Kiona: 38:37
Yeah, and I mean, I potentially co-related to like the pain that you were feeling in your pregnancy, um, with, you know, your back giving out so early on and just dealing with that dull kind of sensation throughout the rest of your pregnancy. Um, well I don’t even know if it was dull you, I’m just assuming that it was like a dull ache that was continuous
Mauri: 38:56
There was a constant dull ache for sure.
Kiona: 38:58
Yeah. Okay. Um, so yeah, that could also be co-related, but when I also hear the term back labor as a birth worker, I think of op babies, um, which means babies are sunnyside up, which means they’re facing your belly button rather than your back, which can contribute to lots of back labor and, um, positioning of how they descend.
Mauri: 39:20
Mm-hmm.
Kiona: 39:21
yeah. So let’s go into some details about your labor. Let’s talk about when you first thought you were in labor and then move forward from there.
Mauri: 39:28
Great. Yeah. And my labor story has a very fun, unique component at the beginning of it. So I will get into that. Um, so, uh, my due date was June 1st of 21, and I had been told, and I, you know, felt like I had done enough research to know that babies usually don’t show up on their due date. So we were invited to go to Whidby Island to visit my godparents on May 31st, Memorial Day And I was like back and forth on whether or not to go. It sounded like it would be lovely in my head. I was like, Elio will probably be sev like born several days after that. It, it should be fine. And what really pushed us. To actually go was one of our midwives lives on the island. And I had talked to her about, and she actually even knew my godparents and I was like, oh yeah, they invited us to go, but it’s the day before my due date. Like, is that scary? And she’s like, you know what the nice thing is, is that if you do end up going into labor, which is, you know, unlikely, you can just bypass the ferry line, go right down to the bottom, talk to a toll booth worker and they’ll get you right on that ferry. I was like, great. You know what? That’s all I needed to hear.’cause I didn’t wanna be stuck in Memorial Day traffic, in labor so. So I hope that sets the scene. So we went to Whidby. I will say that morning, since you and I believe in signs that morning, I was distraught. I don’t know why, but I had so many tears to shed. I was on the couch sobbing and sobbing and sobbing, and I had no idea why.
Kiona: 41:13
mm-hmm.
Mauri: 41:14
It didn’t feel like nerves that we were going to wouldbe. It didn’t feel like fear. It was just I needed to sob and I needed to release. And so that happened. And then we made sure that we had our hospital bag all packed up just in case. So we did have that. So that was great
Kiona: 41:31
Smart. Smart.
Mauri: 41:32
our car. And we went to Woodby and we were hanging out at my godparents and my parents were there and my brother and his partner, and we’re hanging out. And we’ve only been there about half hour, an hour. And suddenly I’m like, not only do I feel like I need to pee, I feel like I’m currently peeing. Like it was the weirdest sensation that I could, my brain could only equate to the sensation of needing to pee. And I was like outside. And so I was waddling towards the house and I felt wa like liquid trickling down my legs. And my brain was like, oh. Oh, oh, oh, this is what’s happening. And I got to the bathroom and I sat on the toilet and yeah, my water was just like breaking into the toilet. Um, and it was the. Oddest sensation because there’s just all this liquid coming out of an area you’re usually only used to pee coming out of. I know that it’s not from the same hole, and, but the sensation is weird. And, uh, it was, but it was gushing, right? It’s, it’s something I had never obviously experienced before. And I knew that my dad was in the house outside of the bathroom. So I called my dad, I’m like, dad, can you please get my husband And he like, runs out and grabs Danny and my dad is such a saint. He said nothing to anyone. He wasn’t like, oh, I think her, something’s happening. You know? He was just like, Danny Mari needs you in the bathroom. And uh, Danny joined me in the bathroom and I was just like, giddy. I was so excited and scared and excited and I was like, my water’s breaking. And he was like, oh, okay. It’s happening, it’s happening. So he went and got me some change of underwear and clothes because my outfit was soaked through. And I waited for, for it to kind of pass like it felt like there was this like end of the water breaking and I got off of the toilet changed and we went outside and called our midwives who told us that because my water had broke before contractions had started, I needed to be seen right away if possible. So they were hoping to see me at the hospital in Seattle um, as soon as possible. And for anyone who’s listening who doesn’t know Whidby Island is uh, is I would say a half hour north of Seattle and then a 15 minute ferry ride if you, or 20 minute if you get right on one. And then I was about 15 minutes from that ferry. So we were a ways away and uh, with a ferry system in between us. So we hang up and by that point all my family had gathered round’cause they were like, oh, this is happening. And they were so excited they were able to like send us off. We drove away. Very excited to be able to go and like, avoid the ferry line and just get right on the ferry And we, um, and by that point, my water had only, my water had broke, but I wasn’t feeling contractions yet, so we weren’t tracking anything yet. Um, but I did need to borrow a towel from my godparents because I was surprised to find that my water was like continuing to kind of like leak out. Right. Um, yeah. So it wasn’t like it was one and done. So I was sitting on a towel in the car. We drove to the ferry and we, we pass the long line of Memorial Day traffic. We go down to the toll booth. My husband pops out and he goes to like, talk to someone and he comes back with like a little, little, little interesting emotion on his face and I’m like, what’s happening? He said, well, apparently we can’t get on the ferry unless we call 9 1 1. and I was like, what? I’m not even having contractions yet, but apparently it was like the policy that you needed a 9 1 1 escort, like an ambulance escort to get onto the ferry in case something happened, as in, in case I was gonna go into giving birth on the ferry. So liability wise, right? So we call 9 1 1 and as we’re waiting for them to show up a toll booth, a different toll booth worker runs over to us and she’s like, are you the one in labor? And we’re like, yeah. She’s like, come on, I’m getting you on this ferry. And so we drive after her to get onto this ferry that’s waiting. And then from a movie, essentially another ferry worker comes out, this man, and he’s like, stop. He literally like holds out his hand. He’s like, halt, you are not allowed on this ferry. And they get into like the toll booth worker and the the ferry guy are getting into like an argument and he wins. And the ferry leaves and we’re like, great. So we’re still at the dock. The ferry has left and we hear and coming down the hill is not just an ambulance but a whole fire truck.
Kiona: 46:22
Oh my gosh.
Mauri: 46:25
And we’re at the very front of where all the cars are parked and lined up. So we also have an audience of like a thousand people and they see the ambulance and the firetruck come and meet us and I’m in like, what I was gonna give birth in, I’m in like a big oo dress thing and with the big belly and I’m sure leakage everywhere. And um, he’ll try to shorten this part because it was so aggravating. But they were, especially this one ambulance EMT worker, she was adamant that I get on the ambulance with her.
Kiona: 47:03
Mm.
Mauri: 47:04
and leave my husband and get in the ambulance and they would take me all the way to the hospital and like onto the ferry and then all the way up to down to Seattle and I would leave my husband. And by that point, still contractions had not started. And I said, I really don’t wanna do this, but I’m really confused. I don’t know what I’m allowed to say no to. It was like such a confusing moment because there’s these huge vehicles and these people in uniforms, there were probably eight people and someone’s telling me with authority that I need to get in with them and I really didn’t know what my rights were at the time, like at all. Luckily, another person who had come with this entourage was hearing me say like, I don’t want this. What am I allowed to say no to? And he demanded that, that EMT call a superior, like a supervisor or something. And that person that on the phone said that I should be given a waiver, like a something to sign, uh, in case something did happen to me, it’s not their fault and I should be let, allowed to do what I want to do, like drive on by ourselves. And so luckily they, we were able to do that and we were able to get onto the very next ferry, which had come like a, a half hour later, and the, the ambulance still decided to come. Behind us. I also remember saying like, I, I don’t like, how much will this cost me? Like,’cause I had never ridden in an ambulance before. I just didn’t want, I didn’t feel like I needed any of that. And she was like, oh, so you’re worried about the the price? And I was like, well, sure. It’s like a concern. Like, I don’t wanna be strapped with like thousands of dollars for an ambulance ride I didn’t need. And she looks at me and she goes, the thing is, ma’am, I’ve seen women die in situations like this. And I was like,
Kiona: 48:53
What in,
Mauri: 48:54
okay,
Kiona: 48:56
what a scare tactic, and then also why mention that right now
Mauri: 49:00
I know.
Kiona: 49:01
is not like I understand the perspective of being a potential concern. For like laboring people in general that are trying to get somewhere, but second, why mention that when you’re standing there having like you’re completely coherent, not having contractions, you’re just leaking some fluid, you know, all comfy in your moo moo dress, wanting to sit in your own dang car, you know,
Mauri: 49:22
Yep. With my husband.
Kiona: 49:23
with your husband.
Mauri: 49:26
It was so inappropriate and I definitely remember just, it didn’t work on me, obviously. I just remember like rolling my eyes and so I was very glad to not be in a car with her. Um, so we got onto the ferry, but they still drove on behind us just in case, which is great. Fine, no worries here. And when we got off of the ferry, they did have us pull over so she could do just like one little check-in. And by that point my contractions had just barely started, but I was like, I’m not telling you that I’m going to the hospital by myself, Um, so we split, we parted ways and by that point Danny and I are just like cracking up at this, this story that we get to have for the rest of our lives. And we made it to the hospital so quickly, like within 20 minutes we were checking in. Another surprise, and this is yeah. For anyone who may experience water breaking, Before they get to the hospital, when it was, I had been sitting for so long in the car, when it was time for me to stand up my water wanted to gush out again. And it was such a weird sensation. And I think I’m, I think we’re just so we’re so trained to not wanna pee ourselves that I was like frozen.’cause I could feel that it wanted like to keep gushing and I was frozen in the car, in the passenger seat.’cause I knew that to get out of the car it was just gonna gush and it felt like A flood, right? Looking back there, it was not that much. It just feels really epic. And so they actually ended up bringing out a, a wheelchair so that I didn’t have to like, walk with my water, like dripping down my legs. So that was really nice. And I got set up in the room. Um, my contractions had been going for the car ride down to Seattle and um, they were continuing while we were there. They put some monitoring things on my belly to make sure Elio was still doing great. Everything looked okay and checked out. I was able to, at that point, just get a C O V I D test, like a swab. And since it was negative, I didn’t have to wear a mask, which was so great. My husband did and everyone else was masked, but that was like a lovely thing. And after a few hours we were told if we wanted to, we could go home and rest and like get some food So we chose to do that’cause we were just right around the corner from the hospital. So we went to, uh, the grocery store and my husband ran in and got some food. We went to our apartment. By that point, my family was coming back from Whidby and so they were actually able to stop in and like see me having my contractions and hear a bit of the story. And, um, that was really funny. Danny was able to get some rest, but by that point my contractions were go-goin’ and, and I, you know, I just like could hardly sleep at all. I took a shower, um, Because you never know when the next point is that you can get clean. And uh, I remember like braiding my hair, putting on something comfortable. We watched Zootopia because we were like, we can’t watch anything scary.’cause the baby’s almost here, So we intentionally chose like a Disney movie. Um, yeah. And we were only at home for probably three hours and I was, I woke Danny up and I was like, I think I do wanna go. I don’t remember how close my contractions were. I think it was still like a few minutes between. But I just was like, you know what? I think I just wanna be at the hospital and just get comfy and get ready. Um, yeah. So I’ll pause, but I, I can keep going. if that, if we want to keep going with this
Kiona: 53:01
I mean, of course we’re gonna keep going. I, there’s so many things I wanna say. Um, I. I first off, I love that you kind of had that closure with your family after coming back and being able to go home and then be like, oh my God. Like, how’s it going? You know? Um, and how did your family react when you told them the whole ferry story?
Mauri: 53:20
Oh, they were so shocked because they had just assumed we had made it easy breezy.’cause they hadn’t heard from us at all. So they were absolutely flabbergasted. Um, my mom is quite fiery and she was completely irate. Uh, but then they were also able to like, laugh along with us’cause we had clearly like made it out. Okay. But you know, we’re, we’ve, we grew up in this area. Um, we’ve been here for 30 years. We use the ferry system all the time. And so it was really shocking, I think for my whole family to hear that this kind of like bureaucracy would get in the way of my safety or what I wanted, what I thought of as my safety. They were clearly trying to make sure everyone’s safety was involved. But um, yeah, very surprised.
Kiona: 54:05
Yeah. Oh gosh. Yeah, so let’s dive into what it was like when you guys decided to go into the hospital and then birthing Elio.
Mauri: 54:14
Mm-hmm…So we got back and we were given our beautiful room, Northwest Ho Northwest Hospital has a great birthing center and the rooms are super big and they all have a big bathroom with a huge tub. Um, and they’re not going to necessarily allow you to give birth in the tub, but it’s great to, you know, just alleviate some of the pressure. And the pain. There’s a shower, so you can really choose. And by that point, I, I was aware of some of the, maybe a lot of birthing techniques and tools, right? So I knew that if I wanted to, I could like, sit on a chair in the shower, with the shower, um, going directly on my back. That could be great. Or I could sit in the tub and find one of the jets, and the jets could go onto my back. um, and yeah, I think we were there for just a little bit before the contractions really started feeling quite epic. And I started doing my cow noises and immediately it was hurting my back and it was just my back. And I was like, this is, wow, this is a lot of pain in my back. Um, and they checked me of course, right when we got there and I was about four centimeters dilated. And from that point on I was like, not in the bed’cause I wasn’t medicated, so I was like, I’m gonna be in the tub, I’m gonna be in the shower. Danny’s gonna be, you know, applying pressure. so we did that for, gosh, it was a long time. I wanna say we were doing, using those tools and I was doing my cow noises and I was feeling my back pain for probably like four to six hours. And a midwife came in and checked me again and she looked at me and she’s like, Mauri, You haven’t progressed at all, like you’re still four centimeters. And I was like, I’m still, I haven’t progressed at all and I’ve been in all of this pain That, and, and the pain was really quite extreme. Um, so at that point I had been hoping that I was like close, honestly.’cause I was in so much pain. I was like, so ready to be done with the pain. And I just kind of knew immediately. I was like, you know what? I think I want the epidural because this is so painful. And she said, you know, and I think that that might be a good idea to, to give you some rest. Like if you’re open to it. And Danny and I had both been open to it, leading up to it. I knew I wanted unmedicated, but of course if I felt like I needed to change my mind, that was always okay. So that was, that was our approach always. Um, but the, the person who could give the epidural was kind of busy, so, We tried with some laughing gas first, um, to try to alleviate the pain. I hated it because the way that it works, it didn’t work for me because you’re supposed to breathe in while you’re contracting. And I, my body and I had already been doing like 10 hours of breathing out during contractions, so it just did not work for me. So then while we were waiting for the epidural, uh, they actually gave me a bit of fentanyl. Whoa. And wow. Whoa. Um, and so I started feeling pretty good quite quick. Um, and finally I think at that point that was like when I truly got a break. And I would say that was probably 6:00 AM So I had been in labor, like my, my water broke around 5:30 PM the day before. So I had already been in this for about 12 hours. Which is nuts to think about’cause it really did go quite quick. Um, and then Danny and I like to say it was six hours of spa time.’cause I got to rest, I got to sleep, Danny got to sleep. Which is super important because the birth partners have, have, a very different experience. They don’t have the physical adrenaline that’s motivating them to stay up the way that the birthing person does. Um, they are trying to be as supportive as possible and they’re trying to be that protector and I think it’s quite draining. So it was amazing that he got to have some sleep. Um, I got to like FaceTime some friends which was really fun. Um, but I remember feeling really frustrated that I couldn’t eat
Kiona: 58:27
Yeah.
Mauri: 58:28
cause’cause by, oh, sorry. By that point they had come in and given me the epidural so, Yeah, so you’re not really allowed to have solids. So I was having like some broth and some water and some coconut water. Um, but I was kind of hungry, of course,’cause my body’s doing this thing that is like absolutely epic, like an a total marathon and I’m not allowed to have food. So I did not love that. But I slept a lot and I would say about six hours later I started feeling, um, some pain again, some contraction, pain. And I went to like, you know, push the button’cause you’re allowed to like, give yourself a little bit more of the epidural, with this button. And the pain was increasing.
Kiona: 59:10
Hmm.
Mauri: 59:11
So I asked someone to come in and look and they discovered that the attachment of the epidural had fallen out of my, like my body So it was no longer providing any anesthesia. Um, and All of the pain was like coming right back. And, but because they had done the epidural, they had also done Pitocin, which since epidural slows down the birth, Pitocin increases, the contractions. So since my epidural had fallen out, I still had this Pitocin rushing through my body that was like contract, contract, contract. And um, yeah, pretty quickly I felt like I was ready to push. The epidural person did come in and reattach things, but it was pretty quickly after that that I was like, um, this is a totally new sensation where it’s like where you know that it’s a sensation similar to when you know that you have to puke or a sensation when you know you have to poop. And I bring those two gross things up because this fantastic body worker I worked with reminded me that the cervix is the third sphincter, right? So we have our anus, we have our throat, and then we have our cervix and The sensation is quite similar. Uh, that’s how I experienced it. It was like, oh, it is time now and there’s not much you can do about it. It is time to push. So I was trying to convey to our nurse, please, it is time to push. I think it’s time to push. Can someone, can you get the midwife? She went to relay it to the midwife, came back and the nurse said, well, the midwife says that there, it’s probably not really time
Kiona: 1:00:56
I am sorry, my face just dropped
Mauri: 1:00:58
I know. Yeah. Her face went, uh, Um, yeah. So that was really, that was a very interesting moment and I don’t remember exactly what happened, but maybe just how I was acting made it clear that I thought I, it really was time to push. So the nurse went back out to get the midwife and the midwife came in and checked me and was like, oh yes, you’re 10 inches and it is clearly time to push. I’m like, yes, thank you for telling me what I already knew. Um,
Kiona: 1:01:28
10 centimeters. 10
Mauri: 1:01:30
10 centimeters, what did I say? 10 inches. Uh,
Kiona: 1:01:36
yes, 10 centimeters.
Mauri: 1:01:37
also talking to a record holder.
Kiona: 1:01:40
Oh, Exactly.
Mauri: 1:01:41
birthed an actual watermelon. No. 10 centimeters. Um, that’s so funny. So yes. And it was time to give, uh, to give birth. And, um, yeah, I was, because of the whole epidural. Saga, I was able to feel more of my body than I think someone without the epidural falling out would’ve been able to feel. And I’m looking back, like totally grateful for that. And I was able to get into, I was able to just feel things, I wasn’t necessarily able to get into unique positions or anything, but I ended up putting my feet up on the bar that can come. Uh, it kind of like comes up towards your legs and you can put your feet up on the bar for leverage. And they kind of, they were able to wrap a sheet in a way where I was able to pull a sheet towards me and push my legs against this bar. And the push and the pull was super, super helpful for the, the whole pushing, um, phase I pushed for 20 minutes. I don’t, I wasn’t someone who counted how many pushes. Um, and there was. If there was moments that it felt good because it was just like, oh, this is what my body wants to be doing. And my husband wa was watching, um, from the vagina perspective the whole time, and from his perspective, he see, he sees Elio’s head coming out and then going back in, like essentially turling out and back in, out and back in. But from my perspective, what it was feeling like was, there’s no heck in way this head is coming out. Like there’s no way it’s impossible. And so right at the very end, I actually reached a wall and I was saying, no, no, no, no, no. I need someone to help me. Like I wanted someone else to do it for me, without realizing, of course that’s not possible. And I was just asking for help and I was, I think I was saying like, I can’t do this. What was happening in my brain that I felt like I didn’t say out loud, but I’m totally fine with saying right now, is I was really worried that the head of my child was going to tear upwards towards the clitoris and I was going to forever lose that part of my body
Kiona: 1:04:02
Mm.
Mauri: 1:04:03
And I was just,’cause I, yeah, it just felt impossible. Um, but yeah, from my husband’s perspective and the nurse and the midwife, I was literally, it was literally one push away and the hardest part was gonna be over. So I dug into my deepest reserves and I did one big final push that I thought was gonna rip me in half. And, um, from my, from what I remember, Elio kind of like slipped out with that one, like the whole, whole kit and caboodle. Um, I. and that was, that felt, that felt good. There was like some relief in that final push, of course, of the baby coming out Um, but I don’t think it felt as good as when I birthed my placenta.
Kiona: 1:04:50
Yes. And not many people talk about that. Not many people actually talk about birthing their placenta because they’re so fo Everybody’s always so focused on, oh, the baby, you know, like postpartum when telling stories and stuff. But birthing the placenta is like, I don’t know if this is gonna make any sense to the listeners, but for me, when I birth my placenta out, it’s like I, I compare it in my mind. I’m gonna talk about poop guys. I compare it in my mind to when like, you know, you’re pooping and then you get like the biggest chunk of the logout, and then at the end you’re like, I know they’re still there. And then you get the end out and you’re like, oh, okay. If you, yeah,
Mauri: 1:05:30
You’re right, it does. There’s the completion. And again, the reason why we’re talking about poop is because people, it’s so similar. It’s weird because the mechanisms are so similar. Um, yeah.
Kiona: 1:05:42
the same muscles are
Mauri: 1:05:44
exactly. Yeah. And it felt, yes, it felt totally divine. Just like this ultimate release, this big gush. And I’m sure the body is like, okay, great. Wow. There goes like 12 pounds of flesh, right? Like, let’s get it out. Like,’cause my kid was like over eight pounds and the placenta can be a couple pounds. So there’s also just that relief of like, oh, it’s just me and my own body again, great. Um, yeah, so that felt great. And Yeah. And after Elliot was born, I was, I’m a very emotional person, but I was surprised that I wasn’t someone who was like, ah, like my baby’s here, like, sobbing, all like, excited and, uh, you know, feeling like it’s some miraculous moment. It was kind of like, oh my gosh, I just did that. Whoa. There was a lot of, I’m sure I felt very empowered, but there’s a like, quite a bit of shock, like, wow, we just did that. They, um, they did give me Elio right away, but they kind of took him at one point’cause he wasn’t doing like a big forceful cry that they wanted. So I just remember feeling a bit dazed, um, while all of that was happening. Um,’cause yeah, you just, I just went through something wild, just truly wild. Um, but ultimately everything was okay with him. They got him, they got him to cry and, uh, gave him back to me and it was. Incredible to hold his little body. But yeah, it definitely took some time for it to really all sink in.
Kiona: 1:07:20
Mm-hmm.
Mauri: 1:07:20
Like probably a few hours actually for me to be like, oh, and now I’m holding my child. Oh my gosh.
Kiona: 1:07:27
Yeah. Yeah. It’s truly, truly bonkers, like on the process of everything, because many, many people go through those moments of shock and you need time to ground again. You need time to like come down from this like Oxytocin high and it doesn’t even fully go away, you know? But when you have that realization of, whoa, this thing that is on my chest is a human that I grew in my body that’s breathing and crying and it’s also gonna poop and pee here in a minute, you
Mauri: 1:08:04
Yeah.
Kiona:1:08:05
like, it’s insane. And to have that realization, I still have moments like that now. Like as, as a parent just looking at my kids, I look at my husband, I’m like, we got three kids.
Mauri: 1:08:15
It’s nuts.
Kiona: 1:08:16
Like this is crazy. We have three humans. Like, ugh, like we’re parents forever. you know,
Mauri: 1:08:22
forever. I know your life totally changes. I think with this next one. I like that you bring up grounding. I I didn’t necessarily have all of those tools at my disposal with my first birth, but going into this next one in a couple months, once the baby’s born, I would love to do some grounding exercises. Just something to bring me back into the space because it is, your body has just gone through so much shock, so much trauma that it’s totally normal to, to disassociate. Um, and I feel like now I do have the tools where I can like, look around, notice, notice items, notice colors, notice smells, notice sensations, and kind of like bring me back to my body so that I can a little bit more quickly enjoy my time with, with that new fresh baby.
Kiona: 1:09:10
Mm-hmm. Yeah. And like even some simple exercises of like wiggling your toes, you know, and realizing like, okay, am I present in my body? I’m wiggling my toes, my feet are touching the ground. Um, I can feel the light scratches if I put my nails in my arm. You know, that kind of thing of like bringing yourself back into your body.
Mauri: 1:09:30
Mm-hmm.
Kiona: 1:09:32
it, it’s very powerful. There’s also some ceremonial, ceremonies that could be performed postpartum by people that have what’s called bone closing ceremonies. So like, they will take rebozos, um, they’ll meet you at your home. Usually they take rebozos and they wrap them like Down your body and they like tightly like tighten them and squeeze them. And then there’s like a whole ceremony where they talk about like the importance of having that closure and reminding your body that it’s okay to not necessarily revert back to what it was, but close to who the new being you are, you know? Um, so it’s really awesome. I, if I can find some direct sources, I’ll put them in the notes, but if not, I would just look up, you know, don’t hesitate to look up some closing ceremonies or bone closing ceremonies, um, and see if people offer that in your area. For those that are listening elsewhere, I know that they do offer it in the Pacific Northwest as well, so,
Mauri: 1:10:31
Oh, that’s great.
Kiona: 1:10:32
yeah. Um, another thing that I think is important when it comes to body healing is previously I interviewed a midwife and she had mentioned that it’s super important and she thinks it should be just standard to do pelvic floor therapy postpartum. Because it’s like everybody, even if you didn’t have like a traumatic birth or a prolapse or anything, having pelvic floor therapy is literally just something that people should do because your pelvic floor is weakened after pregnancy and giving birth. So in order to strengthen that and to hopefully prevent the peeing when you sneeze, or cough or laugh kind of sensation, um, and to encourage your muscles to strengthen down there, especially if you had any kind of prolapse like cervical bladder or um, vaginal prolapse, all those things.
Mauri: 1:11:21
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I’m definitely, I’m approaching this pregnancy so differently because since I know kind of what to expect with a birth and what to expect is that you can’t know what to expect. I’m not spending too much time thinking about my birth that’s coming up. I’m thinking all about postpartum.
Kiona: 1:11:41
Yeah.
Mauri: 1:11:42
So I’m actually like sitting down and interviewing a postpartum doula tomorrow because I just want to approach the healing of my body and my soul as like the number one priority. And I think when you’re a first time parent, of course you’re gonna be worried about birth, and of course you’re gonna be worried about taking care of a little body and a little being who doesn’t know how to take care of themselves. So I give myself full grace on that. Those were my priorities the first time around, but this time around I’m like, this is my second time and we are gonna focus on me.
Kiona: 1:12:15
Yeah. Yeah. Which is good. You need to heal, you need to have all of your, your reserves filled. You know, you need to be taking care of yourself in order to take care, in order to even think about taking care of another human. So,
Mauri: 1:12:31
Mm-hmm.
Kiona: 1:12:31
Yeah. Yeah. So let’s go ahead and move into your postpartum and talk about what your feeding choices were, how your mental health was postpartum, and all those good things.
Mauri: 1:12:43
Yeah. And this is, I mean, it’s exactly why I am gonna be so focused on the healing aspect of postpartum care this time around. Um, looking back, I think that I had postpartum something, postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum rage for sure. Um, it was showing up in different ways, so I didn’t necessarily note it as depression. Um, but I think it was like, Elio was almost a year old. I think he was like nine or 10 months old when I was noticing that I was having consistent meltdowns. I was having meltdowns, not even my baby the mom was having these meltdowns. I just felt like I couldn’t handle basic life things. Um, and that was when I realized, oh, I think I’ve been actually struggling for the past nine or 10 months without naming it, without seeking my own care. And I found a fantastic therapist who really focuses on somatic practices. So,’cause I really needed that, I didn’t really need someone to just talk to, I needed someone to help me understand what I was experiencing when I would go into fight or flight and how to bring myself out of it. So, and I just, I really mention it because I think what I’ve said to friends who have become moms is like, schedule yourself a therapy appointment or whatever is your version of therapy as soon as possible. And I’ll be doing that this time around. She’s like, on my calendar for like, a couple weeks after my due date, you know? Um, because there’s just so much change that happens. So speaking of all the changes, Yes, breastfeeding is one of them. Um, I was going into, um, new motherhood, assuming that breastfeeding would be easy, and knowing that that would be my number one choice. Um, I didn’t necessarily expect to be a mom who had like, endless supplies of breast milk that she would freeze in the freezer and, be able to have access to forever. But I definitely didn’t anticipate any issues. And, um, breastfeeding issues started like right away. Um, Elio was born on a Tuesday afternoon, and, uh, he figured out latching pretty quickly, but it wasn’t until Saturday morning that I felt my milk come in,
Kiona: 1:15:07
Hmm.
Mauri: 1:15:08
so.
Kiona: 1:15:08
that’s a lengthy amount of time. It is common for it to take a, a few days, like three to four days, but when it reaches the five or six day mark, it can become concerning and you’re like, what is actually happening?
Mauri: 1:15:21
Yeah. So I didn’t know that anything was necessarily wrong, but when we went in to his first doctor’s appointment on that Friday, and my milks didn’t, still hadn’t come in, he had dropped a pound since birth. So that was within than three days, he had dropped a pound’cause he wasn’t getting any food. And at least the way that the pediatrician skewed it was that that is a big enough issue that we should start formula right away. So we were given some formula to take home and to feed Elio right away. And it was just so weird because the next morning was when my milk came in.
Kiona: 1:15:58
mm-hmm.
Mauri: 1:15:59
And I did notice it right away. It feels like you suddenly have like a chamber, like a gun chamber of rocks in each of your boobs. And when Elio would latch I, the let down sensation for the first few days was so extreme for me. I felt like I was being pulled into this portal down into my uterus because there is, when the baby is, is breastfeeding, it does help the uterus contract back to its original size. And it was just such this mind body experience, like I can still viscerally recall it. Um, so I was so grateful that my milk came in, but it never reached a point where it was enough to be feeding him. So my supply was called low. We went and saw a lactation consultant a few times, and his latch was great. It wasn’t the latches fault. Um, it wasn’t, you know, not that it’s anyone’s fault, but it wasn’t. Yeah, the latch, um, And ultimately the consultant left me with believing, like she believed that it was like the, the, the anatomy of my breasts were just not going to be producing enough, which was like absolutely devastating. I went through so much grief, it felt like betrayal from my own breasts, like my own body couldn’t do this thing that again, all of the people my mom’s age were telling me came so naturally and it was just so easy and so beautiful. And oh, when I hear a baby cry to this day, my boobs still hurt, you know, and they’re like in their sixties. And I’m like, okay, great. Thank you. That doesn’t help me
Kiona: 1:17:37
mm-hmm.
Mauri: 1:17:38
Um, so that was a really difficult experience. I was still, and I still feel really grateful, I was able to breastfeed and use formula. So we did a combination. The formula was, The silver lining was that everyone else could always feed Elio. It was never just me.
Kiona: 1:17:58
Mm-hmm.
Mauri: 1:17:59
But I still really felt like I was missing out on something.
Kiona: 1:18:04
Yeah. And those are very valid, valid feelings, especially when you, you do have people around you, like whether that be friends, whether it be commercials, whether it be TV shows, whether it be family that are always saying, oh, it’s so easy. You’re gonna love it. Like, it’s gonna just come so naturally to you and you’re gonna be just fine. You know, and of course people are telling you that because they think that that’s what you wanna hear, and they think that it’s motivating. Like, oh, don’t worry, it’s gonna happen. Don’t worry, Don’t worry, don’t worry, But when they say these things, they don’t necessarily realize that they’re subconsciously saying, like, forget about it. Like the way that you’re feeling it, it’s gonna, it doesn’t matter. Everything else is gonna come just fine. When really they’re not validating what you’re feeling, they’re not validating your emotions, they’re not validating what your body is telling you and doing. Like it’s different, right? And so instead of pointing you in the right direction of some support, they’re more of just pushing you under the rug, sweeping you under the rug, pushing you to the side saying it. It’ll figure it out, you know, without necessarily realizing that. This has to do with the health of yourself as well as the health of your baby. Um, and with all of that said, I will also say formula is not the enemy, you know, and it’s important for people who really, really, really strongly want to breastfeed and aren’t able to do so as much as they’d prefer to. Just remember that it’s not the enemy, you know, this is something that is really out of our control. We can try to do our best to encourage our supply, um, and do all of these things that work wonders for others, but may not work wonders for us. You know?T
Mauri: 1:19:49
Right.
Kiona: 1:19:50
And I think it’s beautiful that Elio was able to get breast milk from you.
Mauri: 1:19:56
Mm-hmm.
Kiona: 1:19:56
I think that’s awesome. And there is that silver lining of being able to not be the sole feeder because that is exhausting and, um, So, yeah, I just wanted to validate your feelings and emotions through that. Living through that experience can help you plan and prepare for this upcoming experience. So do you have any anticipated plans of what you plan to do with this one?
Mauri: 1:20:21
Yeah. Around 36 weeks. I will start. Hand expressing to kind of kickstart colostrum production, if at all possible. And if I get to capture any of that colostrum and save it, um, for when the baby is born, that is fantastic. Um, and yeah, so I’ve just been told that trying to get the breast working, um, before birth can be helpful for breast milk supply this time around. I am. I mean, we’re gonna have formula on hand for sure, because I’m not expecting it to be drastically different. However, I am reading the fourth trimester, the book called the Fourth Trimester Again, and learning all about how our hormones change after birth. And we have stress hormones, we have sex hormones, and so often our stress hormones can actually get in the way of the sex hormones that we need, um, for many things, but including breast milk supply. And so I’m gonna be really focused on alleviating stress, not being, not having too much to do so that I can really focus. Again, I sound like a broken record. This is clearly my priority. Focus on my healing, focus on my connection with my new baby. Um, and, and we’ll see if any of that like lessened a adrenaline or lessened cortisol will help with breastfeeding. I have no idea. And this time around, I’m also not expecting anything. I think like just trying to go in Of course, even at, even last time, I knew that Fed is best. But this time around really knowing it and, and just being grateful for any kind of, um, connection that I can have with my newborn. Um, and it doesn’t have to be through the breast. Um, but yeah, I’m hoping that I can kind of kickstart things with hand expression at 36 weeks and then just being really focused on a really nice, well-rounded diet once the baby’s here. Um, maybe a focus on some of the foods that they do say help with breast milk supply. Um, but last time I really let it become everything to me. I, I just got really fixated on trying to increase my supply and it did not help my mental health.
Kiona: 1:22:52
Mm, mm-hmm.
Mauri: 1:22:53
it was, it just became a battle
Kiona: 1:22:57
Yeah. With yourself, you were fighting against yourself. Yeah. And that’s so, so, so valid. I I know I keep like being like, that’s valid, that’s valid, that’s valid. But like I’m, I’m really like, it’s so true and I think it’s important for listeners in this to hear is that your experience and the emotions that you’re going through with your experience as an individual are so valid.
Mauri: 1:23:17
Mm-hmm.
Kiona: 1:23:18
And that’s also why it’s good to hear other people’s stories so that you can also hear that there are things that they went through that they need validating on or want validating on. I would say need, not just want, but like, you know, need the validation on and having it be okay for them to be in their emotions and for them to deal with what they’re individually going through and validating and not even necessarily always needing to provide a solution, but validating it. The fact that they’re going through something and that they’re seen and heard as they go through that. So I am, I think it’s exciting to hear that you have a plan in place, but you’re also going to not have it be your actual like full on priority and like obsession so that your mental health can be stable as well. So yeah.
Mauri: 1:24:03
yeah. Well, hopefully, hopefully prioritizing me is going to be the ripple effect that everything needs, including my whole family. Right? So I think if the, what they call the baby mother, the mother baby, there’s like, there are cultures that, that see how connected the mother and the newborn are that they literally call it like the mother baby one word. Um, just prioritizing that unit. I think prioritizing the connection, the healing will hopefully mean that the first few months are a little bit easier, but also the years to come. Right? We’re kind of setting a really good tone for the whole family. So that’s the hope
Kiona: 1:24:47
Yeah. Yeah. And I think it’ll follow through. Not that my opinion matters, like, you know, like It’s just like my feeling. I think it’s gonna follow through and I think that it’s gonna turn out well. And I also Think that you are very well resourced with the research that you’re doing for yourself. And, um, I feel like the people around you are also aware, just based off what you’re telling me in the conversations, aware of like how you are and,
Mauri: 1:25:13
Mm-hmm.
Kiona: 1:25:14
um, will see when you need that extra support postpartum, especially this time around knowing what you’ve gone through the first time.
Mauri: 1:25:22
Yeah. Yeah. I know. It’s exciting. I love, I love the whole process. There’s so much to learn. It’s so exciting to see how far our bodies can go, um, and our minds and yeah. For anyone who’s gonna go through this for the first time, it doesn’t have to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. I think that’s what I needed to have heard in my first postpartum journey is like, it shouldn’t be this hard, like mentally, um, you don’t. because I, especially for me, I’m, I’m so well resourced in terms of like, my family’s close by. I have a fantastic husband who’s supportive. Um, I could have had access to any kind of healthcare that I needed. Um, it really didn’t need to be that hard, as hard as I was taking it. So even though it is this epic thing that you go through, please, please, please know that you should never be like in the darkest spaces, unable to handle getting out the door with your newborn So,
Kiona: 1:26:26
That is so good. That is such a, a great point. And I haven’t heard it ever said in that way. This does not have to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. And that’s that. I I love that. I love that. I’m gonna write that down somewhere. I’m gonna, I’m gonna quote that, share that tag you like that’s, that’s really, really great. Like a great thing to realize and. everybody always says birth is hard. Birth is hard. You know, birth is hard. Becoming a parent is very, very hard, but it doesn’t have to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done.
Mauri: 1:27:00
Yeah.
Kiona: 1:27:00
Ugh, I love that.
Mauri: 1:27:02
And you don’t have to like immediately become a martyr. like,’cause like, I think that’s, we’re so used to, I’m so, I was so used to seeing women take on motherhood in a certain way that it was, I didn’t even notice when I was slipping into that, when I became a mom. Like, everything is gonna come before my own health. Everything’s gonna come before my own happiness. Like, no, no, no, no, no.
Kiona: 1:27:27
Hmm,
Mauri: 1:27:27
Remember the unit is only as strong as the mother, I think.
Kiona: 1:27:32
100%. 100%. And I’m, I’m just gonna change that phrase from mother to birthing person just to be more inclusive, because that is 100% true. Like the unit is only as strong as the birthing person. Because the birthing person always tends to fall into the primary role, the primary caretaker, the primary person. And if that person is not stable, mentally, physically, emotionally, your unit is cracked, your unit is breaking, your foundation is cracked. So yeah. All, all the good quotes over here.
Mauri: 1:28:07
Juicy. Juicy, juicy.
Kiona: 1:28:09
toy. Um, oh my gosh. Okay. I’m super, super thankful that you shared your story with me. I have a few final closing questions to ask. Um, the first one we’re kind of already in, but if you wanna say anything else is, what is one piece of advice that you would give to families that are anticipating or currently are pregnant? Like how to prepare for labor and birth
Mauri: 1:28:36
I think set yourself up with a great class that works well for you. Or I could even rephrase that to say, find, find the mentors that work for you, um, so that you can have a little bit of awareness going in on, on what to expect. And then I would skew, I would change the question even more to be like, how to prepare for labor, birth, and then the postpartum, right? Yeah. So I’m just really on setting yourself up for success in the first few months after giving birth. Not just like knowing how to change a diaper, but knowing how to recognize, postpartum depression, anxiety, rage. And having your resources on hand so that,’cause everything feels harder the first few months after having a newborn. You’re like, I have to find a, a new doctor. I have to like figuring out the pediatrician. Then maybe you might need a lactation consultant. And then, oh yeah, pelvic floor health specialist and then maybe physical therapist and maybe actual therapist. If any of those might be of interest to you. Set it up now. Set it up before you give birth so that you have those people on call. Maybe even set yourself appointments and then don’t go if you don’t feel like you need them,
Kiona: 1:29:56
Mm-hmm.
Mauri: 1:29:57
but like, set yourself up now because everything’s gonna feel harder once you’ve given birth. Um, you don’t wanna be doing all the research trying to find new practitioners. So that would be one piece of advice.
Kiona: 1:30:06
Yeah, I think that’s great advice because it’s so valid and there’s so many other avenues, like so many more branches that need to be crossed postpartum. You know, so many more bridges that need to be crossed in order for every single person and every single aspect of each person that’s involved in the family dynamic to be cared for. That includes birthing partners, like the partners of birthing people as well, because mental health and postpartum changes for the partners as well. Many partners take on new roles, you know, they’re like, I have never done this before. Like, one thing is like, I’ve never had to wash this much laundry before on my own when my partner is sitting in bed caring for a newborn. You know, like even though it seems like a simple task or a common sense kind of task, it really It messes with your brain when you are exhausted, sleep deprived and everything. So I just wanted to bring the importance back to, postpartum mental health for both. Yeah. For, for everybody. And so for people that go out and visit babies postpartum, check in with the parents first, please. Because babies will be there. Babies are awesome. Babies are lovely and juicy little humans to see and cuddle, but also check in on the family. Check in on the parents and do something. Do something active, like do a load of laundry, do a load of dishes. Sweep the floor, but vacuum. Do something that is helpful. Bring food.
Mauri: 1:31:32
always bring food and maybe a box of diapers if you can.
Kiona: 1:31:36
Right, right. Yeah, exactly. Something that you know is needed. And then say hi to the baby
Mauri: 1:31:42
Mm-hmm. Yes, and going into this one, I’m like, I would love people to come over, not to expect to hold the baby. I’m having a winter baby, right? We gotta be careful about germs, but I’m also going to be so protective of the mother baby bond that if it doesn’t feel like it’s the time for the baby to be gone from me, then, I am not gonna give you the baby to hold. You can look at him. Isn’t he cute? But that’s it.
Kiona: 1:32:06
Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then, yeah, the mother-baby bond. Especially postpartum in the winter months. I had a winter baby and didn’t realize that I was having depression until I yelled at my husband and told him to keep the windows open so I could see all of the sunlight, you know?
Mauri: 1:32:20
yeah.
Kiona: 1:32:21
Um, cause I was like, it’s like 4:30 PM and it’s already purple skies outside. And I’m like, leave it open. I want it all, you know,
Mauri: 1:32:28
Yeah.
Kiona: 1:32:29
so,
Mauri: 1:32:30
Oh, I’ll bust out my sad lamp.
Kiona: 1:32:32
Mm-hmm. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Um, okay, next question is, um, Well, we’ve actually, you’ve given many resources. My next question is, what is one resource that we can share with the listeners on your behalf? But I got a list of books here, girl.
Mauri: 1:32:47
Yeah, know. such a bookie
Kiona 1:32:48
I got lot. No, I love it. I think that’s great. Um,
Mauri: 1:32:51
I’m just gonna look up the author of fourth Trimester so I don’t botch it.
Kiona: 1:32:58
yeah, yeah,
Mauri: 1:32:59
Um,’cause I think that’s my biggest one this time around, because I read it, I read it last time around, and it was really good to know ahead of time, specifically how our hormones change. We go through like a mini menopause right after giving birth. So of course you’re feeling a little crazy. Of course you are. So that book is called The Fourth Trimester and it’s by Kimberly Ann Johnson. Um, she goes into all sorts of delightful tools to help you through the first three months or four months after birth, but, Yeah, learning about our hormones was really helpful, so I did feel like I was kind of prepared going into it. But still nothing could really prepare me for just how different I felt emotionally. And in terms of like regulation, like kind of right away
Kiona: 1:33:43
Yeah. Yeah. I think that’s a great resource. I personally have not read through the book, but it has been a book that has been referred to by like from many clients and also resourced out to many clients from fellow birth workers. So I think that’s great.
Mauri: 1:33:59
Yeah, exactly…But yeah, and I also loved reading Like a Mother,
Kiona: 1:34:03
Hmm.
Mauri: 1:34:04
um, because she goes into the history of where men started getting involved with, um, the birthing process and how that kind of skewed things. But also she, um, just like the book called Bumpin, they both go dive deep into all of these pressures that we put on pregnant people don’t drink, don’t uh, eat deli meat, don’t have sushi. All of these like big blanket, rules that when you actually look at the studies, might not be as blanketed as we would expect. So there’s a lot of, of really amazing research in both of those books, Like a Mother and then Bumpin’, um, where you can just have a lot, I think it’s just a, a more well-rounded understanding of these rules that you’re being given so that you can make choices that work for you.
Kiona: 1:35:07
Right. Yeah. And I think that’s important too because a lot of the blanket statements or blanket rules that are universally put out there when people fall pregnant, what not to do, they don’t take cultural or ancestral practices into account as often as they should. Because there are things that some cultures and some cultures have been doing for eons, you know, that they’re being told not to do and they’re like, wait, what? Why? Like this, this has been in my family for as long as I can remember.
Mauri: 1:35:41
Mm-hmm.
Kiona: 1:35:43
So I think that that’s important to know as well. The last question that I have for you is, if you could describe your pregnancy and birth with just one word, what word would that be?
Mauri: 1:35:58
Life changing
Kiona: 1:36:00
That’s great. That’s a good one.’cause it is so real
Mauri: 1:36:02
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Kiona: 1:36:04
Yeah. And I mean, if everybody’s made it this far into the episode, they know why we’re saying life-changing.’cause we’ve talked about it plenty
Mauri: 1:36:12
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Kiona: 1:36:14
Yeah. Yeah. Well, Mauri, thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I am so just ecstatic about it and I’m happy to hear it.
Mauri: 1:36:23
I’m so happy to share it. For anyone who is listening, who has friends who are about to give birth, ask them their birth story. It is so healing if they feel like sharing, of course. But like, I remember sitting down with a friend and Elio was only a month or two, uh, old, and she, her first thing was like, so how was your birth? And no one had really asked me that. And I was just, I felt so honored to be able to like, just get into it.
Kiona: 1:36:52
Yeah,
Mauri: 1:36:53
So this is really powerful stuff that you’re doing. Thank you.
Kiona: 1:36:56
yeah. Oh yeah, of course. Absolutely. And you know, there are gonna be some people that are so ready and ecstatic to share their birth stories, and there might be some people that are hesitant because sometimes birth stories can lead to something that’s more traumatic, but talking about it is still very healing.
Mauri: 1:37:13
Mm-hmm.
Kiona: 1:37:13
So, um, yeah. Just like Jenny Joseph said in her podcast, um, Jenny Joseph is a midwife and activist and she has her own podcast called The Perinatal Pause, which is super awesome. You should check it out if you’re listening or Mauri, you can check it out too. And in her first episode, she was talking to this amazing person and she had said the healing is in the conversation. And that’s just about everything. Not just your birth, but not just, you know, your pregnancy, but literally everything in life. When you go through something that is traumatic or life-changing, the healing of all things is in conversation. So I like that you said that.
Mauri: 1:37:56
I agree. Yeah. Thank you so much. This has been very nice.
Kiona: 1:37:59
Yeah, of course. Thank you.
Kiona: 1:38:09
I had such a great time interviewing Mauri for this episode. It was so nice to hear how passionate she was about the education that she obtained throughout her pregnancy in order to make the right decisions for her and her family. Mauri. I know that your emphasis on postpartum support this time around is going to make a huge difference for both you and some of the listeners that are trying to prepare for postpartum as well. So, thanks again. I truly appreciate it. As for next week’s episode, I actually had the amazing opportunity of interviewing Jenny Joseph midwife and activist. She is the president and founder of commonsense, childbirth, and she is truly moving mountains in the birth community. So tune in next week to hear Jenny’s journey into midwifery, how giving birth to her son forged a new perspective on birth and her overall career as a midwife. In addition to hearing her traumatic transition to living in the U.S. This is one you are not going to want to miss.
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